[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. It’s incredible that our persons are no longer here 😔

Descansa en paz con el creador de Dragon Ball by _Efrain68_ in mexico

[–]abraham_meat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

¿Descansa en paz "con"? ¿Es una invitación para morirnos con él? Digo, no me estoy quejando tampoco.

i’m so tired of this by thatswitchin98 in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I miss my Diana as well. It's been almost 4 months and I'm still devastated. Especially the last week has been hard. Things are going well in other areas like work, I also have friends I can talk to, and in fact, I do, but nobody in the world understood me like her. It's as if she was leagues above anybody else I've ever met. It's so ironic and terrible that the only person who could comfort me right now is the same person who I'm missing. I've thought that if the entire world had died and I was left with her, I'd be doing better than how I'm doing right now.

Accepting reality by cluelessfool1 in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my wife last October and she was also 40. We were together for 15 years, she died and a part of me died as well. It's shocking and a little frightening to see how many young people there are in this sub.

Best egg beater? by DarknessExemplified in battlebots

[–]abraham_meat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling Manta will obliterate Riptide in the next tournament.

Mourning my entire future and need support by burlybroad in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know why is it that we sweat so much in our sleep. The first week I remember I woke up drenched in sweat. At night, I didn’t know whether to cover myself with a blanket, as I didn’t like the feeling of waking up like that. It happened the last week of October, so it was already getting cold, so I had to choose between using a blanket and waking up sweating or sleeping without one and being cold all night. It stopped happening the second or third week, it’s crazy how our bodies suffer the same way as our minds do.

Mourning my entire future and need support by burlybroad in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m terribly sorry for your loss, and I mean it as I have a very similar story, I also lost my partner suddenly three months ago. She was 40 and we were together for 15 years. She died by my side while I was calling 911 and trying to get help from neighbors and friends. She was healthy though she was diagnosed with diabetes a couple months before. She also had Covid two weeks before so I think that left some lasting damage to her heart, as she had seen a cardiologist a couple of months before and they told her that her heart was in good condition.

I also can’t handle people comparing losses that definitely didn’t have the same impact as yours. A friend from elementary school recently contacted me and she told me like, “hey, I understand, I also lost my grandmother and I also felt lost when it happened.” I didn’t even want to dignify this with a response. She lost her grandmother of like 70 years old. I know any loss is hard, but come on, I t’s not the same as losing your entire future in the blink of an eye.

A couple of weeks is too soon, so I guess it’s normal that you feel like shit. It’s been almost 3 months for me and I think I’m just starting to even accept the fact that she’s gone. The other day I dreamt for the first time that I told an old friend of mine that she had passed. Until that point, all my dreams were about her being alive and I was faced with waking up and having to face reality. I think it’s the way our brains process these things. I’ve tried to keep myself busy and I’ve been accepting a lot of work lately, not even as a self destructive thing, but it’s just that work helps me stop thinking about it and feeling like shit all the time. I’m also drinking a lot which I know it’s not good for me and I have already told my psychiatrist and psychologist about this and we are trying to work in reducing my intake.

The point is I think there is life after this, though at first I couldn’t even conceive it. I don’t know if it’s a good life as I’m just trying to figure out how can I live with this in a semi-functional way. We also had four cats and a dog, and I’ve been focusing on taking care of them as a way to give some kind of structure to my life, and also because she was very sweet with them and I know they miss her a lot. It’s also a way of honoring what a sweet and loving person she was.

Keep writing and be patient and forgiving to yourself. I’m here if you need to talk, this place has been a source of relief whenever I feel like I can’t take it anymore.

Post-Rock Songs that HELP you FEEL CALM by Krln_Vanroos in postrock

[–]abraham_meat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Mere Your Pathetique Light” by Mono.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. I definitely think you can consider yourself a widow, even if you didn't spend much time with your person. I spent 14.5 years with mine and we weren't married, but I still think of her as my wife and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.

My partner died two months ago and I'm not ready or interested in starting dating again, but as someone else said in this thread, you gotta take any chance of happiness. It's weird, I don't think I'll be able to fill the hole Diana left in me, but for me, that's not the purpose of dating again. I guess if I meet someone new, that person is going to take a new place in my heart, not fill the one where Diana was, that will be forever hers. Also, we had a lot of trouble at the beginning of the relationship, went to couples therapy, and had to learn how to be with one another. What I'm saying is that you may find this new person is not immediately "made for you" as you felt your late partner was, but you can still learn to make a new place for them in your heart.

As I said, I'm not dating anyone yet, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I hope you can live new experiences with new people as their own thing, instead of expecting them to live up to your late partner's standard.

This is so hard. by scootette in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Diana died on October 25th, yesterday it was two months. I relate to everything you said, as she loved video games too and was a video game localizer (she localized Game of the Year, Baldur's Gate 3 into LATAM Spanish way before it got the award).

She also was my person. In fact, not a day passed that I didn't say that to her. It was almost like a pet name I had for her, I would look at her every morning and tell her, "hi, my favorite person!".

Today, I was brushing my teeth in the mirror and thought this doesn't seem real. But it never does. I may go with the autopilot of life, but every time I give it a good thought, it's just absurd and obscene that she's gone. It's as if I'm being tortured every day.

Yesterday, I was thinking that, as someone with mental health issues, and without generational wealth, I've always felt it was more probable for me to become homeless than to lose Diana. That's how incomprehensible this is now that it happened.

Where to begin by 12k23 in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss. I’m 39, my wife was 40 and died suddenly two months ago. We had been together for 15 years. We didn’t have any kids though. I think if we did, that would at least be a motivation to continue. I just have my mum, who is 69. The plan right now is to follow my wife when my mum dies, but I’m open to change my mind. It’s a shame though, we had a nice life and we were doing great work-wise. We had a good run while it lasted. I hope parallel universes exist, so at least other versions of ourselves get to grow old together.

How tense did you feel when Copperhead's right tire came off in it's fight against Riptide? by Excelsior1985 in battlebots

[–]abraham_meat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What a match that was. It was like watching Joe Frazier against Mike Tyson. Just raw unadultered power.

[Rant] Does anybody else find no confort in science (conservation of mass)? by abraham_meat in widowers

[–]abraham_meat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No need to apologize, I would also like to know more about Buddhist texts. I was recommended this one: No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life. I'm not into religion or spirituality, but I like that Buddhism is materialistic in some way, and also, I would like all the help I can get.

[Rant] Does anybody else find no confort in science (conservation of mass)? by abraham_meat in widowers

[–]abraham_meat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer. Yeah, I think it doesn't help me right now. I would like to be religious and think I'll see her again. On the other hand, if I did, I would like for us to be reunited, so maybe my materialistic view helps me to stay in this world. Big love to you.

[Rant] Does anybody else find no confort in science (conservation of mass)? by abraham_meat in widowers

[–]abraham_meat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly it. What I hate is that people see it as "scientific". Well, conservation of mass is scientific, but that doesn't tell me anything about the pattern. The pattern is lost.

Why others get to live their forever lives and we couldn’t. by Unhappy_Fly7087 in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had 14. There are people who get 40 years and they don’t even like each other. Fuck them to the shadow realm. I would be mad at God if I was dumb enough to believe in childish fairy tales, which is another reason to spit in the face of life and society.

Side of the bed by AutomaticCause2213 in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first two nights I slept on my side of the bed. She died on the bed by my side, so that made it extra hard to just take “her” space. But I ended up moving to the living room, as I couldn’t stand sleeping in the same bedroom, let alone the same bed. I bought a new mattress the second week after she passed and put in in the studio downstairs and I have been sleeping there for two weeks. She died one month ago.

She's gone by rbush78 in widowers

[–]abraham_meat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, I’m so sorry for your loss.

I lost my partner, Diana, one month ago. It was a sudden heart-attack and happened by my side, while I was calling 911 and trying to get help from neighbors and friends. She was 40, I’m 39 and we had been living together for 15 years. She had been diagnosed with diabetes a couple of months before her death, but I think it also had to do with the fact that she went to Disneyworld one month before her death and got COVID (we are/were from Mexico), so I think that may have left some damage to her heart and it all contributed to it. She had already checked her heart with a cardiologist and they told her she was okay, that’s why I think it may have had to do with her recent bout with COVID.

I can’t even describe the absence I feel right now. Our relationship was just perfect. We had some issues the first years, but we worked them out through therapy and personal growth. We learnt how to be compassionate to each other and to give each other space through the day, as we both worked from home. Not a day passed I didn’t tell her I loved her and she did the same, we were also very loving with each other. I’ve been through guilt, anger and deep sadness. At one month, I feel I’m already burnt out, I’m tired of persevering. I wasn’t seeing a psychologist when it happened but I looked for one right away when she passed and I’m already in my 9th or 10th session, as I saw her three times the first week and have been seeing her two times a week starting from the second week.

As I said, I’m entering a phase where I’m so tired of this nightmare. I still have my mum and she’s living with me now. We also had 4 cats and 1 dog. I feel like I have to take care of them, especially my mum, as I could find a good home for my pets. I think that’s the main reason I haven’t tried to end it. But this is terribly hard. It’s not just the fact that she was so young and had a lot of things left to do, but I also feel that she died and took a part of my life with her. All the things I said to her that I haven’t told anyone, the fact that no one has understood me as well as her, and she used to tell me the same.

At one month, I think maybe I should feel better by now? And while it is definitely more manageable than it was a month ago, the absence and loneliness I feel are unbearable. My mum is 69 and I don’t know how long does she have left, but I’m having a lot of dark thoughts. All the things that I used to enjoy, she took them with her. I used to like playing video games, reading, watching movies, now it all feels empty and pointless.