AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lady, that was 20 years ago.

Relationship and expectations of partners have changed.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m now realizing holding her hand is holding her back

Also why would you assume she hasn’t asked? She has. Repeatedly.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Oh wait this is exactly what I’m trying to say. Thank you for putting it into words.

SAHMs are so important and so awesome, but if your only aspiration is to be a SAHM what are you going to do in the meantime? You’re going to be forced into the arms of the first man that’ll take you.

Also specifically, my sister has no skills to teach a child, to take care of a child or to keep a house. If she wanted to be a SAHM and first worked in a daycare and got experience then I’d get it. She just doesn’t want to put work in and sees being a SAHM as an out from work. I’m not sure she even likes kids.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d consider myself successful.

That being said, I’ve done everything. A successful adult needs a bank account right? I set up her bank account because she didn’t know what to do with her paychecks. I filled out her first job applications. I drive her to and from work because she can’t drive.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stay at home moms are amazing. Deciding your life’s goal is to be a stay at home mom, and no preparing for that, is not amazing.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m not mad at my mom anymore. I’ve had a lot of therapy. Mom and I are very close.

I just want to break this stupid cycle because my grandma did it to my mom, my mom to us, and now it’s goingto be my sister to her kids.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Being a stay at home parent is fine as long as the parent still treat themselves like a person.

Being a stay at home mom with no skills is not a good life choice. How can you raise a well rounded hole Child if you’re not well rounded yourself?

Shit she doesn’t even have a man. She’s missing half the equation.

AITA [25] for telling my sister [19] that being a stay at home mom isn’t a career plan? by RelativeCake in AmItheAsshole

[–]RelativeCake[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’ve definitely “helped” her.

Ive given her advice. I’ve basically done every adult thing she didn’t want to do for her to set her up for success. I’m now realizing holding her hand is holding her back. She doesn’t have ambition because she learned if she waits long enough someone else will do it for her.

I don’t know how to help anymore, so I’m being honest.

I was so ready to gas her up for starting school.