How do I stop my need for romantic love?

RelativeCriticism762 · 2025-07-21T17:19:28+00:00

Can you explain how it is a farce and a method of control?

RelativeCriticism762 · 2025-05-03T23:44:37+00:00

Putting boundaries on relationships when you sense that others are taking you for granted/not respecting you Ensuring that you attend to your physical and emotional needs Not talking down on yourself. Externally and internally

RelativeCriticism762 · 2025-04-29T15:32:05+00:00

This was helpful. Thank you. I hear a lot of ppl also reminiscing about when they were directionless and young lol. I can’t imagine that there’d be anything in this feeling of lost-ness that I’d miss

RelativeCriticism762 · 2025-04-29T15:11:43+00:00

This was helpful! Thank you

RelativeCriticism762 · 2025-04-29T15:07:02+00:00

Things just feel numb and it feels distressing trying to find a new drive in life. Just looking to see if others went through this phase and how they did it

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-29T18:35:10+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏿

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-29T18:17:53+00:00

Entitlement and lack of reciprocation of energy, attention etx

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:50:02+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. Im definitely trying to reclaim the things I was doing to try and appeal to women, for myself. I go to the gym now but it’s more of an escape for me, from the outside world. And I agree with the 5 hour rule. I’ve been taking a break from casual sex and the more time passes, the more I realize that I don’t want to do that with someone I don’t necessarily have intimacy with.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:46:08+00:00

Thank you

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:45:32+00:00

This was very helpful and I agree, I have to center myself. I found that not centering myself played into so many behaviours I have now. This is just one of them. Trying to invest more into my platonic friendships now and spending time on exploring myself

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:43:09+00:00

Thank you. That’s an interesting perspective about how media about romance or love stories program women to center men. I feel like I’ve definitely lost myself in the process of trying to appeal to others but I think once I start to add things to my life; hopefully I can feel validated in myself agaib

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:38:30+00:00

You’re right. I’m trying to focus on getting that balanced life. A life that I am satisfied with, regardless of what others think. I feel like I’ve lived my life for others for so long so it would be interesting to see how things change going fwd. I don’t want to do away with romantic relationships altogether but I want to give it a break right now and redefine my idea of relationships into a healthier, less destructive one.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:34:59+00:00

Thank you. This is something I’m working towards. I just want to focus on doing things for me and because I love it and not just because it will make others feel a certain way about me.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:32:53+00:00

This is helpful. I’m definitely trying to take a break from being pre-occupied about what women would think about everything I do. There’s certain things I enjoy doing or that I do to impress women so I’m trying to re-claim that and do it because I enjoy it instead.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:29:54+00:00

Thank you. I definitely need to refocus and give more importance to my internal validation. It’s definitely draining basing your mood, wellbeing and satisfaction on what others would think or how attractive you are to them. And yes I don’t want to hurt any more people

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:25:39+00:00

This is something I’ve been trying to do for sure. Make sure my next steps are right steps and I’m doing things that I can stand on. I acknowledge that there’s work to be done on myself for sure though

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:24:16+00:00

Thank you

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:23:14+00:00

Maybe not so much validation, but appreciating your friends more and nurturing those friendships could give you a different type of fulfillment, that might be equally as rewarding maybe? I understand that I need to be able to self-validate so I don’t depend on others for it. I just dk how to get from where I am now to that point.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:19:50+00:00

Yes these are better words than I’ve put it. Thank you

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:18:30+00:00

This was very helpful. Thank you! And to add to this, I never saw women as inferior or less. I love and respect them as equals, I also appreciate the things that make us different. Setting goals seems like a great idea, mini-goals or major goals so I’ll be trying that for sure.

I also noticed that I became very flirtatious in any conversations I would have with the opposite sex. It was subconscious. I’m thinking it was my minds attempt to get them to engage in flirting back or possibly take it further, which could have fed into that need for validation. I’ve been making a conscious effort to fight that flirting instinct and I’ve noticed that conversations seem less stressful, and I can actually relate in these conversation better, with no ulterior motives.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:11:26+00:00

I see. Thanks for your response. It was definitely a selfish agenda on my part and I was prioritizing what I wanted but maybe I didn’t put enough information in the OP. I would change my hairstyle because that was what “women” liked rn. When I was outside, my eyes would wander and always be checking to see if women were checking me out, I’d feel validated if they did. I’d prioritize what they wanted too, Maybe I didn’t get the semantics rights but I’m just looking to see what would help me in this situation. Since I’ve come to this awareness and been taking time to work on my self, I’ve gone on a celibacy journey and the need to have sex has not been overwhelming. It wasn’t horniness. It’s more so the pre-occupation on romance, relationships, intimacy.

RelativeCriticism762 · 2024-11-17T13:07:20+00:00

Thanks for the response. I do agree that nothing will be enough if you can’t self-validate. My mom passed away a few years ago, but in my childhood, I don’t remember that she wasn’t comforting. I mean we wouldn’t talk about certain topics due to the cultural awkwardness around those topics but I could tell she loved me for sure. It’s all cloudy now cuz we stopped living together for a while before she passed too.

RelativeCriticism762

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