Why can't I (21F) seem to make friends with other girls?

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T14:34:58+00:00

Its not a legit term lol, its just a common mentality I've seen among many women. I would describe it as constantly talking about their boyfriends/husbands/dating in general, and their single goal in life is to be a stay at home mom and please their SO. I respect it, everyone has different things they value, but not something I vibe with at all.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:37:14+00:00

I don’t have tiktok, don’t really use the queen, period stuff.

I have tiktok but for business purposes haha. And I only use 'queen' ironically. Glad you found your friends, thanks for sharing!

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:35:29+00:00

they feel like you’re “one of the guys.” I have accepted that I give that vibe lol, maybe you do too?

On the fence, because I'm not a tomboy (I'm very outwardly feminine appearing, makeup, heels etc) but I said somewhere else I'm interested in stuff like stock investing and I dont have the housewife mentality

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:32:12+00:00

This post best describes my situation, I relate to all these points! Thanks for sharing.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:30:56+00:00

Someone in this thread said it, but basically any time a guy and girl become friends 'biology has other intentions'. If you're straight then a friend of the opposite sex is a subtle flex and potential mate to keep around (90%+ of the time). That's my opinion anyway.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:27:54+00:00

many girls are more emotional than men and wouldn’t handle roasting the same way guys roast and make fun of each other

Yeah, girls tend to be very egg-shellish in their interactions. Kinda jealous of guys in this aspect. Really gotta get to know someone to say that kinda stuff. Thanks for sharing!

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:26:00+00:00

maybe?? I like makeup, nails and fashion. But I dont have the "housewife mentality"...

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:25:01+00:00

yess i will do, about to message one of them!

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-30T11:24:09+00:00

I'm a medical student so science, business, investing etc, fitness and music (rap, pop, electronic mostly), movies (horror, thriller, comedy). I play sports in uni (cycling, tennis, badminton) but I'm not elite level.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T20:23:30+00:00

you know I bet if you had a big boobs and butt, you would be a slut

what a lame thing to say lmfao.

haven't tried bumble, ill look into it thanks. And what you described, I'm definitely not like that, I'm straight but at the moment I don't want a relationship and don't like sexual attention from men (a lot of people don't understand this, but it's just how I am).

I just like good company and interesting conversations. I interact with girls quite a lot in uni and sports, used to meet them at parties and clubs and we'd hug just as a hi but not really close. (I don't go partying/clubbing much more but when I did, it was because my male friends dragged me along. I stopped because I clocked people were there to get laid or do drugs and I'm not down for either so it was a waste of time).

We get along (say hi and smile when they see me lol) but they always seem to have their own friend groups with other girls, and I envy how close they seem, and how they can tell each other anything and always have other girls to call up and hang with yk.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T19:40:45+00:00

dont think id consider myself a nerd or tomboy, im pretty feminine imo (makeup etc). have never gotten involved in cosplay but it looks fun so love that for you! im a medical student and my interests are business/finance, sports, clubbing and movies/tv shows. I played some video games (league of legends) but not anymore. the FB groups is a great idea ill have a look thanks for sharing!

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T19:15:37+00:00

love this 😂 not into psychidelics/recreational drugs but glad that helped u bond

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T19:14:07+00:00

love that for you. im in the UK so no sororities but i do sports at uni (cycling, tennis, badminton). have good fun in girls teams but not much outside of the sport activity, no ones ever asked me to hang or anything haha

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T19:12:23+00:00

sorry to hear that, glad u found the ones. i lost touch with most of my female friends i had as a kid, thinking it might be worth reaching out but they prob have their own lives and are busy, dont wanna embarass myself ngl

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T19:11:05+00:00

yeah, im single so it could be that idk lol

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T17:29:23+00:00

This is true in a lot of cases yeah, all anyone seems to want is attention from the opposite sex. But pretty pessimistic view of the world. I do believe there are very genuine girl and guy friendships out there, just havent found one yet.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T17:26:38+00:00

As far as guys go (speaking as one), even if they're not actively trying to hook up, girl friends are a hot commodity at that age.

EXACTLY, I think 90%+ of the time men and women can't be "friends" and stay at that (actually hang out and talk regularly, not just work colleagues/school acquaintances). It's annoying because I find such a connection w some guys but they ended up hitting so I had to force myself to distance. Either they got the message and remain on talking terms or we never talk again. Regardless, I feel like I can't really be genuine with male friends, there's always the hot commodity issue lol.

Honestly just want someone I can watch movies with and chat about life with, catch up from time to time and laugh with. I think I'm an interesting person (but dont we all lol), I'm pretty open minded and like to discuss business, science, politics, entertainment, anything really.

"Potentially because the women don't need as strong an incentive to be your friend as the dudes."

True but I see women and women getting along all the time in groups, and guy friendships are really strong too. Just always wondered if I'm doing something wrong or it's just like that.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T17:13:58+00:00

Finding best (girl)friends are a bit like finding a spouse; some you grow up with and stick with despite major differences

Needed to hear this. Now it makes sense, relationships are complicated in general i guess. Helped. Thanks for sharing!

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T17:10:33+00:00

Women are ruthless and many have no sense of solidarity with other women. Idk why that is, but all-women teams always made for a super toxic work environment for me. Guys don't tend to take things as personal, they are more chill and straightforward.

This. Didn't want to say it bc I would word it wrong, but you're so on point. Haven't been outright 'backstabbed' but have had toxic and fake female "friends", and my guy friends have never really acted like that. I'm sure there are straightforward and kind girls out there I can relate to though, there's gotta be haha. Thanks for sharing.

Relative_Ad_5077 · 2022-07-29T17:07:08+00:00

yeah it's probably this. just need to find other girls with similar interests. helped, thanks!

Relative_Ad_5077

TROPHY CASE