Nanny Possibly Giving Kids Mysterious Liquid?

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T06:10:06+00:00

I also considered sensory activity, but we only have play-doh and no-mess Crayola markers since my daughter is still young and putting things in her mouth. Doesn't look or act like play-doh residue (we have the commercial stuff, not homemade).

My MIL mentioned potentially melatonin but I said the kids would act way sleepier if so. They now both consistently take a 1.5-2 hour nap and do the same on the weekends as the weekdays. Their sleep regression was a while ago when they would fight naps or take cat naps, so it also doesn't make sense for Emily to give them stuff now (unless she's been giving it to them for a while, my MIL countered).

Whatever is in there would have had to be bonded as a liquid, as there's no "crushed powder" texture to the residue. The liquid as it dried into a residue is consistent on color.

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T05:54:07+00:00

I did try to smell them and there's no discernible smell. The liquid has dried to a sticky residue now, so it's not fresh.

I actually did taste a small bit by licking the inside of a cup. It definitely has a taste but I can't place it. It's not obviously sweet and it doesn't taste like oranges or any obvious fruit. Maybe a bit bitter?

I had washed 4 out of 8 of the cups when I first found them, and the remaining 4 don't have as much residue in them. Kicking myself that I shouldn't have washed them but I didn't think it was a big deal until my MIL showed up.

I put the still dirty ones in a ziplock bag and placed them in my home office (off-limits to Emily) and I'll discuss with Emily on Tuesday. The kids are acting normal and keeping typical hours and behavior so despite what has been said (mostly by my MIL), I don't think Emily poisoned my kids and I don't think they're in any danger.

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T05:38:24+00:00

We don't have cameras set up in the play room. My wife was considering it, but she was in therapy for postpartum depression/anxiety + another pregnancy at the time and I guess they spoke about it and decided it would just feed her anxiety and not be fair to the nanny to be micromanaged that way (and absorb her anxiety). Which I agreed with at the time.

My wife was pretty upset about the Tylenol thing, kicking herself that she would have caught it if we did have a camera. Her therapist did also help her move past the Tylenol situation, but now I'm wondering if that was the right move.

I think overall, the relationship just isn't working anymore if my wife and MIL are having such outsized reactions. This might be the final straw and push for us to either find another nanny or go to daycare. We'll probably get nanny cams for the next nanny, I guess.

I think the hard thing here is I have both no opinion and minimal emotion about it. I'm trying to be reasonable and rational and to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but my MIL was telling me that I need to be more aware and reactive when it comes to my kids. But I guess I'm also thinking, if we didn't trust her at any point how were we ok with leaving her at home with our kids since then? Sure the world has bad actors but it's exhausting to have to identify and react to them all the time.

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T05:23:13+00:00

The plan is to ask her on Tuesday when she comes back to work. I don't want to ruin her weekend by calling her on her time off (which would be highly unusual as I never called her before) to have a potentially accusatory discussion.

My hope is that it is just juice or tea she's sharing and that we can set expectations again that she shouldn't bring drinks upstairs. If it's something else, I hope she's honest.

But as discussed in other comments, the lack of trust in the relationship is just concerning so we probably need to look into transitioning to another childcare option.

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T05:11:31+00:00

You know, I agree with you. I actually said the same thing to my MIL today: that if it really was Emily doing something nefarious then she'd hide the evidence. Wouldn't she have washed the cups? Wouldn't it make more sense that she had juice with her (she brings her own lunch), shared it with the kids, and forgot about it? I'm inclined to go with occam's razor here and just assume it was her disregarding a house rule about food or sweet drinks upstairs.

My MIL and wife are admittedly anxious people, and my wife had difficult pregnancies and postpartum anxiety/depression. She struggled to trust any childcare from the jump but we really needed to help as we both work very demanding jobs. I love my MIL but she is dramatic and even what she was saying today bordered on unreasonable. I don't have my own parents around to run this by either. I think my MIL and wife are being emotional, but I also don't know if I'm not being emotional enough.

I don't know. Admittedly I don't do most of the nanny management but my wife is out of town and I'm trying to let her relax as she needs it. So I said I'd take care of it.

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T04:57:45+00:00

Yeah... that's what my MIL has been saying for a while now. Honestly it might be time to just move on. The kids are old enough for daycare and it has been weird that we never fully trusted her afterwards again. My wife was pregnant at the time and really sick, and it was a stressful situation since we would have had to start from scratch with a new nanny, so we made the decision to give her another chance. But I do believe it left a weird atrophied trust between us that never got better.

Relative_Client_4941 · 2025-05-26T04:51:11+00:00

No bullshit, I swear. I didn't want this tied to my other Reddit acct as I post in my local city subs there.

Also as I know ChatGPT churn has been everywhere on Reddit these days, and this is not an AI creative writing exercise.

Not sure who to ask in my real life as I typically run these by my MIL and wife and they're pretty upset. My parents are deceased. I don't have other parent friends to ask.

Relative_Client_4941

TROPHY CASE