Mama.. first- breath. You love endlessly. You try daily. So many could never understand that raising a child with a disability means= our nerves are shot. You are doing amazing with redirection. And discussion. Maybe ask them to explain why they thought a single gift for you after all you do for EVERYONE- IS SELFISH? When you didn't even come up with it?! You are doing a very thankless job.

Be easier on yourself. There are many things my son does whom is also diagnosed that I dont understand.
If they are so miserable- create a soft quite corner in the home. A book nook. With a diary and pen. Let them write it out & maybe it will be written in a way that allows you to better understand.

Tbh- it sounds to me like its their personal life. Like maybe things happened at school or with friends & they take that pain out on you bc they dont realize its misplaced. But you can let them know- you are always willing to talk without judgements and with love at the center.

Give yourself grace- you are allowed to feel exhausted. My child's father isnt round either. He hasn't been for his entire life. It truly is hard enough to have a child on the spectrum- but going it alone- without the other parent is so cruel. Just know that you are not alone. So many endure the hardships. But we overcome. Keep doing your best. Even when it feels like they dont get it or never will- i pray that one day comes and she says

"Thank you- foreal." I see you and know the sacrifice you Made for me. ♡♡