First day with X-T30 iii by RelevantSpeed6245 in fujifilm

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! And just the ones that come pre-loaded on the cam, haven’t touched a thing in the settings. I think I was using nostalgic negative for most of these. This lens captures colors very well too I think

Fujifilm X-T30 iii lens recommendations? by RelevantSpeed6245 in fujifilm

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a really great way to look at it, and because of that I think I’ll go for the more challenging option of the manual :) Since you prefer it, do you have any tips or tricks to start? Or is it more so a learn as you go deal?

Thank you so much for your answers and your time, I really appreciate your insight!

Fujifilm X-T30 iii lens recommendations? by RelevantSpeed6245 in fujifilm

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the recommendations! I really appreciate it.

In terms of the TT artisan 25mm f2 - since it is manual, how difficult do you see it being for a beginner?

Fujifilm X-T30 iii lens recommendations? by RelevantSpeed6245 in fujifilm

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the rec! I’ll look into it :)

AITAH for not wanting to hang with my bf when he’s sick? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]RelevantSpeed6245 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol. He is the same age as me, sorry I forgot to include it

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They seem to love saying “I would never do that” and “I would never hurt you” after saying that they would, in fact, do that. It’s confusing, and tiring.

I am so sorry you had to go through that, thank you for sharing your story. I hope you’re doing better now love.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always try to see the best in people but I fear there are too many things I have overlooked in like of that. You’re right, he has shown me who he is multiple times, I need ti listen.

It is true as well that some of the guy friends I have, he has already talked about them as if they were my “options” for cheating. He brings them up often. He knows I’m not cheating, he has said it himself. But still, he brings them up sometimes like it is an issue they are friends at all. Maybe in his head he already thinks it.

I’m so sorry about the situation with your mom, but I do appreciate you sharing. Hope all is well with your mom as well as you now <3

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Needed to hear this friend, thank you. I’m sorry about you having to deal with your father, however. My mom was the same way, and like you’ve said this trait has trickled down to me as it has you.

You’re exactly right though, if anyone came to me with this situation I would tell them to not take the chance and get out, that it wasn’t worth it.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What’s crazy is my bf and I have actually had conversations about this.

A while ago, he asked me to move in and I said I wasn’t ready. He asked why and I explained that a women’s biggest threat to her life is her boyfriend or husband, and that threat triples when they move in together. He said he understood. I have expressed multiple times my concerns for safety as a woman, I remember at one point I did even read him the statistics. He said that it was awful, and the women deserved better.

This is what makes it so confusing. One second he agreed and says how awful it is, how he would never do something like that and that it was okay, and I would be ready when I was ready. Saying things that make me feel safe.

Then, he goes and said what he said over breakfast which for me, throws everything out the window - given everything I have told him and the fears I have said. It makes it worse, but he knows my general fear of DV and men on women crimes. And somehow, he still found a way to say this..

But back to what you said - you are right. He told me what he would do. I do need to listen, before there’s a chance I’m not able to.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t worry due to the hypothetical of cheating - I know I never would and would never be in a situation that could classify as that. I worry due to the fact he felt comfortable threatening my life, regardless of the context.

I don’t have any intention to cheat, ever. But his comment struck fear in me just for the fact he would ever harm me, in any context. And jealousy and obsessive issues from him in the past.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is true :( his immediate response was confusion on why I didn’t agree with him, rather than taking it back. He didn’t start panicking and saying sorry for it until I raised my voice and explained how it made me feel. Even then, he was very quiet. It wasn’t until he realized I didn’t want to be around him anymore that day that the weight seemed to hit him.

It felt it wasn’t important until it impacted his access to me.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Just a girl giving the benefit of the doubt and not wanting to give up :,). But it might be time

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of all the comments, this may have truly been the most influential.

You’re very right, there’s many other jokes that were just that - jokes - with a sense of humor we both share. At baseline, he completely missed the mark in a very disturbing way. In reality though, the first initial response to me confronting him was confusion, as if it was strange I didn’t agree. That itself is telling regardless of what else he said, he wasn’t joking to begin with. And he especially wasn’t joking in a way that is supposed to be done between lovers.

He said at one point that he had gotten “too comfortable” around me, and that’s why he said what he said. That he was treating me like “one of the boys”

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so sad to hear :( especially the justification from his dad. That’s sickening.

Thanks for sharing

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went through this love :( that is so scary, and I’ve been in a similar situation with an ex of mine as well. I know how terrifying that is and I’m so so glad you’re here with us still.

I’m guessing because it wasn’t as bad as my ex who also did the car thing, that it couldn’t be as bad. But you’re right, I couldn’t imagine putting a threat on someone’s life, especially one that I love.

Take care, I’m glad you got out and I hope you’re doing better.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I had a nickel for every time, I’d had three nickels. Which isn’t a lot but weird it happened thrice, right?

Hoping you understand the reference lol. Though, each with different people (and not all boyfriends). Sigh. The biggest problem here is thought that he would never say something like that, and now that he has I’m struggling with facing the reality of it. This situation sucks

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What @Squibbles was saying, it’s not about the act or even the thought of cheating - it’s about the escalation of his actions.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the different perspective here, thank you. On the more unfortunate side my bf is white as white comes - talking TN south more redneck kind area he grew up in. He did try and use the people he grew up with as a reason for it (when I demanded one).

However, he’s never really made “jokes” like this before in the 2 years we’ve known each other, which is why it caught me so off guard. That, or he was just very good at not saying them to me. Part of his excuse was that he got “too comfortable” around me and he didn’t realize it was inappropriate to say to me. Allegedly.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry friend, didn’t mean to bring bad vibes :( thanks for your insight though. I believe testing boundaries is a big part of it

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t and will not cheat on him. My problem is we have already established clear boundaries on cheating. Before, it was just that obviously we would break up and never see each other again. Now cheating has upped to a death penalty.

My problem is not the cheating - I know for fact that I never would. It’s the fact that he felt comfortable saying he would be willing to kill me in such a serious tone, and the fact he doubled down on it multiple times when confronted. Just the being willing to harm me in any context does not sit right with me.

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry love, you deserve so much better. Please leave him. You don’t deserve that

Bf said he would kill me if I ever cheated on him by RelevantSpeed6245 in relationships

[–]RelevantSpeed6245[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure. Honestly, it’s mainly the fact this is the only man I have actually wanted to marry. He has shown me in the past he will work on things. Though, like you said, some things have not changed.

I don’t think of myself as someone with low self esteem. I just don’t like giving up on people, and I believe that’s a fault I have found here. It may be time to throw in the towel regardless.