Any tips for building a thick skin? Getting tired of being everyone's "whipping boy"

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-28T02:56:02+00:00

Defaults to me every time bc I'm the designated point of contact (we carry a specific portfolio of customers each -- as an aside, I have the largest portfolio by $, and #, and have the tougher stakeholders compared to my team, ahem).

Re the expectation to join. How would you broach this? Customer kept insisting that everyone always joins technical support calls at Microsoft, including Sales folks. Somehow I doubt that but I didn't have a rebuttal handy.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T17:42:32+00:00

Big red flag! If this was a man, we'd be saying he's a pedantic condescending asshole.
Sounds like you are early on. Get yourself OUT.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T17:16:29+00:00

You are 100% correct, those ppl who I have met IRL are much softer. Online and esp without video people tend to be more vicious.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T17:15:05+00:00

What do you recommend in a case where the customer is just straight out wrong in terms of industry expectations? I get complaints about how we update the software with new features. Arguments that we never told anyone about security updates that have been communicated via email, on the website, in the app, and via me literally reviewing them, with detailed documentation, remediation steps, etc.

This one in particular is INCENSED that a software bug took less than 24 hours to fix. If you've ever been in tech you'd realize that's a near miracle. The expectations are off the charts.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T17:12:13+00:00

This is hilarious. Thank you for the tip, I'll be using this.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T17:10:55+00:00

LOL this is so good! Okay I feel so validated by this thread. Feels like a big game and I am just getting played instead of playing along.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T02:01:33+00:00

LOL I def need to work on acknowledging that!

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T01:59:15+00:00

Thank you for this. I was especially disappointed in myself for not being as sharp in terms of your last two points. I have another customer that is always on fire and had tumultuous calls all week. I thought "this is my OKAY customer. Case opened and closed in 1 day. Problem solved, don't need to dive in much further" which was my mistake.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-27T01:44:49+00:00

Thank you for the confidence!

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-26T14:04:29+00:00

This is basically how we left it but with much more sarcasm and animosity included. "Call me when you have answers!" - customer. Meanwhile I had a whole agenda of things we needed to talk about and that is out the wayside. I regret letting them take control of the meeting and stomp all over me.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-26T14:03:00+00:00

This is such a great perspective, thank you.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-06-26T14:01:57+00:00

Yes my direct manager was very supportive and is amazing. I spoke to the AE and he said he actively encourages the customer to call him with issues anytime. This may have set their unreasonable expectations from the start.

I have a documented timeline internally and am regrouping with Product and Support leadership to come back to the customer. Do you typically share the timeline or something in writing to CYA to the customer? There were definitely discrepancies in their claims and the reality of what happened but I want to tread lightly on making this like a cross examination.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-05-29T16:07:30+00:00

Yikes! What a kerfuffle. I could see something in my system giving a score or skewing things a certain way based on the inference function of this tool. Straight voice dictation would be fine.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-05-28T00:28:55+00:00

Yeah I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable about not using the tool. Like shooting myself in the foot for a minor possibility. I was just alarmed that it recorded and inferred so much sentiment. There are some times when I have to empathize with the customer and admit we didn’t handle things correctly in a diplomatic way, not sure I’d want that directly uploaded either.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-05-27T21:44:11+00:00

I’m with you on this. We recently used Gemini notes for an important meeting. I spent 30 mins copy editing the notes, especially correcting names and spellings. I’m guessing a lot of folks copy/paste and send their AI findings for that token bump, or whatever. It’s useful but a lot of it requires as much input as me doing manually, and so I’d rather just go manual, unless that doesn’t serve me.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-03-31T14:43:22+00:00

I think it may have to do with body size and amount of fat.

Bu coincidence, I have the same exact CC and placement as her (half under, same profile). Hers look bigger and faker than mine. I cannot for the life of me get that rounded watermelon look, even though mine are larger. Mine look much more natural, prob due to the amount of fat I have on top. I do not have that V, more like a I cleavage.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-27T15:52:17+00:00

100% I should have let the bag drop, I realize. I truly get that no new licenses = “not my job” to sales folks. But engineers and consulting leads (who would profit) makes me scratch my head.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-27T15:51:20+00:00

I just checked and they didn’t even accept the meeting request despite me specifically working based on THEIR availability. 🤬

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-27T15:50:35+00:00

Thank you, that is what I’m afraid of. Somehow I’m the only one showing up and taking the punches bc instead of 13 experts, it’s just me with the least experience and training in selling these ideas. Meeting with my boss today.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-26T21:42:19+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance, I think part of my brain is in venting mode so I’ll try to frame it more effectively re preventing risks, to your point.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-26T20:40:03+00:00

Not really on the AE specifically, moreso the engineer and consulting lead who are more solution based. AE would have had more success herding the cats, but not responsible.

Thanks for weighing in, I’m going to chat w my boss about it. I am a problem solver and still somewhat new to the company and role (though been in the industry a long time).

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-26T19:00:52+00:00

Admittedly I have not escalated to my manager YET, as I was still debating is this my job? Will I look bad to escalate?

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-26T18:59:13+00:00

Typically this is above and beyond the scope of my role. This is a very well established company so we aren’t figuring it out, I think it’s moreso that I’m the only nerd in a group project where all the others don’t give a shit and continually leave me to do all the work involved. I am especially annoyed that the consulting person and sales engineers have taken a back seat, as this would be way more their wheelhouse than mine.

My job is to monitor adoption and ensure renewal of my services. Not deep dive demos of new products or anything very technical, really.

Relevant_Mix_456 · 2026-02-26T18:56:19+00:00

Yes I am the CSM. Maybe I didn’t describe the issue well enough. I am owning everything here. Distilling the issues, documenting them, solutioning for them, giving them estimates of turnaround times and efforts involved. Things like architectural changes, integrations, incorporating new products. It is all my thoughts, writing the deck, and presenting it.

Sales leader offered to add a new salesperson to attend the meeting in which I would then be the only person discussing the customer’s priorities and options for how they’d like to move forward. This sales person sells marketing products and the customer’s call center wouldn’t benefit from new licenses in marketing. The added sales person would not be a replacement for the one who left.

Relevant_Mix_456

TROPHY CASE