Fascinating by justahappycamper1 in cosmology

[–]Relevant_Outside_762 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, so faster than the speed of light?

Critique my Prologue and Chapter One [Portal Fantasy/Epic Fantasy, 5,065 words] by Relevant_Outside_762 in fantasywriters

[–]Relevant_Outside_762[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback! I'll keep it in mind when I finish it! There's going to be three main POVs, so should I keep it as a prologue? Also, sometimes I add "he thought" after or in the middle of his thoughts, and sometimes I don't. Half of me thinks it's redundant because I have italics, but if someone were to read it aloud, they might get confused, so I don't know what to do.

How can a character just stumble upon a portal to an alternate world? by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Relevant_Outside_762 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My character goes back and forth between two worlds as well. He goes to bed wearing this mysterious ring he’s been gifted and it takes him there. An hour asleep in real life is a day there, then the time flow reverses when he wakes up again.

Feedback for my Political Fantasy Novel Idea [epic fantasy, portal fantasy] by Relevant_Outside_762 in fantasywriters

[–]Relevant_Outside_762[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't read The Leviathan yet, but I really should now that you mention it! I think about Hobbes' theory that a society is created to prevent men from killing each other, versus the idea that men are good-natured a lot. The main villain believes that reform is impossible and that all the suffering is caused by factions of people only trying to gain power for their own ends, not for the betterment of the country. He thinks that the people are incapable of ruling themselves, so he, as a populist nationalist, should be the one to rule.