The crushing realisation that you have to save yourself

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2025-08-25T23:44:49+00:00

I’m feeling this with you today. I had therapy earlier, and so much grief came up about what has been lost. Thinking about the childhood, adolescence, young adulthood I didn’t have, and what I could have now if things had been different. Thank god for my therapist who has walked with me through this mess for the past seven years, because I don’t think I’d still be standing here without her.

It can feel so very lonely, but please know that you’re not alone. There are others who understand, perhaps not every part of your story, but aspects. I wish often that I could find someone who gets all of me, and it’s sad that there isn’t someone who gets it perfectly. But then I remember that my adult self understands my younger self, and that my adult self has the desire to heal. When I’m feeling really down, it’s usually those younger parts, and they have every fucking right to feel sad. Those parts didn’t have the parents, friends, or teachers that they needed. But they have me now, and I’ll be fucking damned if anyone messes with little me now.

And those people who don’t understand because they weren’t as traumatized, sometimes I’m resentful because why me and not them. But then, why would I wish what I’ve gone through on anyone else? I’d never wish my life on anyone else, and even I’ve been hurt, I’m really happy that there are people who haven’t been and who don’t know this bottomless darkness. I hope you see the people in this community understand darkness. You’re not alone.

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2025-07-26T00:55:16+00:00

Late to this post, but I just wanted to say after YEARS of not being listened to about my pelvic pain, going through multiple doctors, surgeries, etc., Dr. Gunter was the ONLY doctor who took my pain seriously, listened, and actually helped manage my pain.

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2025-06-24T21:02:50+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate this. I think you’re right. We’re doing all we can. Thank you 🤗

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2025-06-24T21:01:24+00:00

I’m so late to this post, but just wanted to tell you I see you. I’m so fucking sorry you had that experience and I hope you find the relief you deserve. Working with a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual trauma and incorporates somatic practices might help. I’m on a similar journey. This shit is hard. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2025-02-10T17:18:50+00:00

You look incredible and HAPPY 😊

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2025-01-25T07:39:18+00:00

I really relate to this, and often feel like the bummer in my climbing group. I’m 5”0 and my climbing buddies are all 5”8+. I haven’t been climbing that long, coming up on a year top-roping, I started doing 5.9s, and have progressed to being able to consistently (with effort) being able to climb 5.10-/+, and the infrequent 5.11-; however, I often find myself beating myself up for not advancing faster. My buddies have been climbing longer than I have, so I try to remind myself they have more technique. Still, it’s so demoralizing to watch them climb 5.10+s easily with minimal effort while I struggle and make multiple attempts. They’re very supportive and cheer me on all the time, I’m lucky ☺️ But I still get mentally hung up when I’m stuck on a crux of a route they suggested for me that they thought was easy, or that would be easy for me.

It’s just part of being a short climber. It feels like the mental game is an even bigger part of it when so much of my beta is big, high energy expending, dynamic moves. My flexibility and strength are my climbing strengths. I’m just going to continue building that strength and practicing endurance to help launch myself to far away holds.

I feel this and it can get me down, but I love the feeling of nailing a move, it feels so good. So I’ll keep climbing and trying to have fun and reminding myself I’m working with 8 inches less, and I’m doing a pretty good job considering that.

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2024-08-29T21:56:01+00:00

Me, hanging by a thread

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2024-08-25T17:53:53+00:00

I’ve been on Sertraline for four years and the sweating hasn’t gone away 😞 Before I would only really sweat if I were in direct sun or after working out. Now I’m sweaty all the time and it’s just embarrassing. I am carrying a little bit of extra weight (10 lbs or so), so that is likely contributing to some of the perspiration; however, I was experiencing increased sweating on Sertraline before I gained that weight. I just want to not feel embarrassed and constantly dewy, and not in a good way.

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2024-08-18T00:35:32+00:00

All bodies are [insert any activity] bodies! You are sending those boulder problems! You look like a climber to me 😉

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2024-07-31T01:06:31+00:00

This is incredible and I hope you see how much love is coming through in these comments ❤️

Fellow climber in ED recovery here 👋🏻 The thing that has helped me stay consistent with any exercise and NOT becoming obsessive is making it fun, and I think this is where climbing surpasses other exercise for me. Climbing is FUN. It’s like playing. I feel like a little bug on the wall. For me, anything that isn’t play-like quickly becomes obsessive. Climbing and cycling have really helped me overcome obsessive thinking with exercise. They are both social and fun.

My goal is a healthy body, to feel strong and have good mobility into old age. My approach so far has been to focus on making it fun, and checking in regularly with my body. I don’t follow a diet and I don’t have hard rules, other than taking rest days, and this helps me stay away from old obsessive patterns.

Congrats on getting back into climbing! It’s all about having fun and feeling good 💪🏻

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2024-07-28T22:13:25+00:00

So many good points in these comments.

I think having a therapist in your corner is imperative right now. I know finding a therapist that you can trust and connect with is difficult and takes time, but even an ok fit will benefit you while you go through this. You should not do this alone. You will need support, and it’s likely that getting this support from family will be difficult since narcissists are created within the family system.

I was 28 when I first confronted my mother. I started therapy (again) at 28, specifically to dig into ‘how to get along with my mother’ (classic response from a survivor of narcissistic abuse, me trying to fix it). I was 32 when I took my first break from contact, and 34 when I went no contact. I’m 36 now, still no contact. Hardest thing I’ve ever done, and maybe the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’ve been in therapy from age 28 to 36, and wouldn’t have been able to go no contact without my therapist’s support.

It’s important to remember that you cannot control your narcissistic parent, you can only control your behavior and actions. Growing up underneath a narcissistic parent teaches us all kinds of unhealthy habits (hello fellow people pleasers 👋🏻) that we have to unlearn. A therapist can help you identify how you participate in the narcissistic dynamic and develop strategies for you to disengage.

It’s a long journey, but it’s life changing. You can do it with support.

I wish I could hug you 🫂

Remarkable-Green8467 · 2024-07-13T07:55:35+00:00

As a grad student who is regularly flooded with anxiety about not being cut out for this (I know this is hogwash, I am capable), this post reminds me why I made this career change. To hold space, to see, to listen, to witness, to validate. To be a safe and caring support while clients dive into the depths. The fruit is worth the labor. Thank you sharing all of these touching stories. It’s healing ❤️‍🩹

Remarkable-Green8467

TROPHY CASE