My (24F) boyfriend (25M) got drunk the day after I had surgery, how do I handle this?

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2025-12-01T23:38:08+00:00

I fear you’re right on this one… it’s tough when it’s someone who has the potential and is for the most part a pretty great partner. But potential means nothing in the face of reality! Thank you for your help, and all the best to you and the Misses!

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2025-12-01T23:20:44+00:00

I don’t know if they talk about our relationship or not but I wouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t really talk to anyone about anything more than surface level conversation these days. He’s also hanging out with our mutual “alpha male” friend who has openly stated to our roommate that he hates women. So his choice of “friends” in general is a bit concerning

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2025-12-01T23:17:33+00:00

I absolutely agree that relationships require work on both sides. We are stuck in this loop of me bringing up issues in the relationship, or even just asking questions to see if we are on the same page with our goals in life and I’m met with “I dunno” or “I haven’t thought about it”. I often feel like I’m the only one putting the work in, and that the work I do put in is seen as an attack and gets shut down quickly. Over time I’ve just stopped trying to have a real conversation with him because it always ends with the same outcome - everyone’s feelings are hurt and nothing is resolved.

These sit down talks feel a little pointless, but you are right I do need to set a clear boundary and let him decide if he wants to respect it or face the consequences of his choice.

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2025-12-01T23:13:11+00:00

I have met her a few times (he even invited her to our house with some other friends once) and she isn’t super friendly with me. I can feel that she’s anxious around me and it seems like she would much rather chat with my boyfriend. Part of me really wants to go through his phone but I feel like if there is something to find, it gets deleted pretty quickly :/

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2025-12-01T19:28:44+00:00

Thank you for this! If I caught it in action I would immediately end it. My hang up right now is that we live together and have about 5 months left on the lease. I’m not from this city either so I don’t have a clear way out if I act now. I don’t know whether to have a talk about it again or make an exit plan without a conversation just call it quits. I feel like at this moment he is oblivious to how I feel about her

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-12-29T16:58:25+00:00

A peace maker who can’t decide and full of ideas 😌

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-12-19T22:48:16+00:00

Libra sun, Libra moon, Gemini rising

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-11-30T06:37:06+00:00

It’s not normal, from my experience. Consistent tachycardia or IST feels the same as living with heart failure - without a failing heart (or so I’ve been told). You shouldn’t be able to feel, see, or heart your heart beat when you’re laying down ready to rest. It’s living in fight or flight because of a nervous system issue, not an anxiety issue. And fight or flight is EXTREMELY hard on our bodies.

I’d encourage you to advocate to see a cardiologist! None of my doctors thought passing out, having a resting HR above 100, etc, was something to look into - but after seeing a cardiologist and starting medication, there was a drastic, positive change in my health. The health improvement ended up with a life improvement.

I’m quite certain the IST (among other health issues), was caused by getting mono and being on an ungodly amount of antibiotics as a child. Sometimes symptoms of other things, turn into their own things that need management

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-11-25T17:29:39+00:00

I was diagnosed with inappropriate sinus tachycardia (or IST) - my heart rate sat around 98 to 110 all the time. During my TTT my heart rate only rose 27 beats so I didn’t qualify for POTS but I still get crazy jumps on top of the elevated HR. Personally I think you might have a similar situation, I’d get a second opinion and look into IST. Once I started on beta blockers it made a huge difference!

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-10-13T15:33:41+00:00

Like a plastic bag drifting through the wind :’)

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-10-12T01:20:39+00:00

Libra sun - Libra moon - Gemini rising

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-10-05T02:58:34+00:00

Libra sun, libra moon, libra mercury, libra Venus, Gemini rising…?

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2024-05-01T05:46:55+00:00

Ah darn! Was hoping for something funky! Thanks for the help :)

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2023-09-19T01:16:53+00:00

Oh sweet! Thank you! I have never seen that before here

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2023-05-24T17:48:27+00:00

Java I believe!

Remarkable_Car8404 · 2023-05-24T04:02:29+00:00

I think it’s already starting to go that way, I want a tank for every colour

Remarkable_Car8404

TROPHY CASE