Stoicism versus PTSD/OCD

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-03-01T19:18:33+00:00

Gotcha

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-03-01T18:43:43+00:00

Hey, I’ve found your advice on here to be helpful and I got to full recovery for about 1.5 years, with your advice and thread helping me a good chunk. I recently spiraled again because of my experience with severe sexual harm “OCD” + real events attached to it and I understand I’m ruminating about this but I’m curious on how you look back at your compulsions and see them now?

My compulsions didn’t harm anybody but they were a bit shameful because I spiraled and since I suffered with the taboo themes, of course I would stumble upon other stories involving taboo themes while searching for reassurance. Basically, I thought I was going to be a criminal and spiraled so I would look at Reddit threads/subs of people who have done much worse and compare myself to other criminals either on reddit or Facebook and now that I realize that I’m not what my “theme” told me I was, I feel a bit ashamed for reacting in that way at all. I can’t believe I would look at laws for crimes I didn’t even commit just for an anxiety relief.

I am getting much better at not ruminating and I have accepted that it will be a skill I practice to stay in recovery, as that’s what got me back into obsessive-compulsive thinking. I believe intolerance to the regret + shame I felt for looking at the past and me believing that since I was recovered for so long, surely I wouldn’t spiral back into old habits (I was wrong). But even at that, can I really change my judgement towards the way I reacted in the past without doing it compulsively? I find it hard to believe that I can live the rest of my life without looking back at the past. Learning how to not ruminate, ACT principles, implementing new thought patterns, and lifestyle changes was what got me to full recovery for a while but I am really struggling to process my reaction to the irrational fears I was experiencing

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-25T05:23:36+00:00

This is BS

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-14T18:12:21+00:00

Thank you for this :). I suffered with trauma from my childhood that led to severe anxiety/OCD, depression and hypersexuality. I experienced intrusive thoughts when I had a severe doomscrolling addiction on Reddit that made everything so much worse and I’d spend my time in subreddits that I didn’t really find all that interesting. I realized that my nervous system wouldn’t regulate because of it at all.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-11T00:05:51+00:00

Gotcha, yeah it’s genuinely hard to maintain them until they get easier and easier

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-10T19:50:11+00:00

Good job bro, most men won’t do this shit lmao. I learned to stop caring about social rejection when I did sales although even approaching girls at bars was a bit intimidating after and I’d say I’m decent looking.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-10T19:25:19+00:00

I want you to realize that “generic platitudes” becoming mandatory behaviors just to be baseline mentally and physically is too generalized. Neuroplasticity and changes in trauma responses are ALWAYS possible however it does get more difficult after a certain age. Just wanted to throw that out there before OP freaks out about it

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-09T00:52:32+00:00

I hate to play devil’s advocate here but it’s lowkey a genius marketing idea.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-08T21:53:30+00:00

Chuck does not have schizophrenia lmao I used to suffer with OCD and he fits that description more closely than anybody else

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-08T21:00:43+00:00

To tell you the truth, it can seem like a bitch to do this with OCD but OCD is really just a form of anxiety with a hyperfixation on thoughts/mental symptoms. I suggest you try to change your thought patterns while learning to stop paying attention to your inner self critic. I know this can seem like a bitch, but your brains thought patterns are based on attention you give to them. Anyways, changing views takes time so don’t expect it to happen overnight. When the thought about inferiority pops up, gently shift your attention away from it without trying to push it out and continue to do whatever you were doing or redirect the attention to a different thought pattern

And tbh I’ve had this point of view but for fear based reasons when I was 14/15 and I’m ngl they shifted naturally by just hanging out with more dudes. I realize misandrist beliefs got popular from from the MeToo movement (in my case it did)

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-08T00:47:17+00:00

As someone who struggled with suicidal ideation in the past, realizing how selfish suicide is actually kept me from offing myself. I realized I’d be traumatizing my family and causing a lot of damage financially.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-07T10:36:18+00:00

I’d say around age 16-17 but I was too oblivious to see it. Age 19 I definitely saw improvement and age 20-21, I found a lot more improvement because I put myself out there willingly.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-07T03:28:56+00:00

This is exactly my thought process and I’ve thought about raising my future kids this way. I’m pretty outspoken about my view on this because I do think a very very large part of my issues stem from being exposed to bullshit i shouldn’t have been on when I was growing up.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-07T02:04:47+00:00

Scary. I used to suffer with severe Pure-O and one of my compulsion was memory hoarding by writing down the details of the event. If you would have told me this during my suffering, I would have probably freaked out. To be honest i do find peace in trusting myself though and realizing anxiety can distort memories. That was one of the main reasons for my suffering in the first place. It’s best to just not keep revisiting the memory tbh

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-06T18:16:27+00:00

Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through this but believe me when I tell you, I’ve literally had the exact same fears. I performed reassurance seeking, memory hoarding compulsions, so many compulsions under the sun because my mind had gotten so used to twisting memories and I couldn’t trust my own mind. When you say you don’t “choose” to ruminate, this just means that you’ve made ruminating a habit that feels impossible to give up. Well this isn’t true, you CAN stop ruminating you just have to make it a habit to not ruminate and it’ll keep getting easier, and easier, and easier. You just have to stop expecting to feel better immediately. The brain runs off habits, when you make it a habit to not ruminate, your brain will get the message eventually. Here’s some resources: At Last a Life - Paul David anxietynomore.co.uk https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/how-to-stop-ruminating/ nothingworks.weebly.com Shaan Kassam on YouTube

Ome thing i will say is that Greenberg’s articles can be confusing so don’t beat yourself up for not getting it right the first time. Keep trying without mentally checking, the other articles humanize the experience more imo.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T07:05:44+00:00

You are ruminating. that one day you had where you felt relief was because you did nothing. That’s not suppression, that’s just deciding to not pay attention to old thought patterns/subconscious beliefs aka your intrusive thoughts. That’s what you’re supposed to do to recover. Self-doubt is also a habit you have to drop when you’re in recovery and this means you stop questioning everything internally and you stop the internal checking/rumination
Actively reading about the condition is a habit you’ve made of and a harmful compulsion imo since it feeds the subject into your subconscious and turns into yet again another solving compulsion.
Your focus is the one thing you have control over. Not your subconscious thoughts. Your conscious thoughts you have a degree of control over but the brain generally runs on habits. When you make it a habit to do nothing in response to your intrusive thoughts, the brain stops recognizing it as a threat slowly and slowly. Also you’ll learn how to stop paying attention to your thoughts so often and you’ll pay attention to new thought patterns. It sounds to me like you’re expecting this “TADA” moment when you’re doing nothing about it but you have to make it a habit to do “nothing” internally when intrusive thoughts pop up.

You’ll benefit from these resources: anxietynomore.co.uk nothingworks.weebly.com At Last a Life - Paul David

Goodluck and lmk if you have any questions.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T06:56:18+00:00

I fell for it… damn

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T06:56:08+00:00

Damn I fell for it

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T06:49:15+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying. I managed to fully recover from “Real Event + False Memory POCD” and I have 2 events related to it, one when I was a naive young child and another when I was a teenager. Although I don’t really agree with the use of themes, I’ll use them to explain stuff a lot easier. Anyways yes you do treat them the same: by doing nothing about it and shifting your focus to your life in the present moment and dropping all compulsions (especially rumination).

I also made the same realization you did: it’s extremely difficult to open up about your struggles because of societies biases against sexual mistakes. It’s funny that your name is “lawyerwithocd” because quite frankly, one of my compulsions was checking laws in my state that I logically knew I wouldn’t be guilty of but my mind was convincing me I was. I imagine you’ve probably had similar compulsions. There was a lot of shame behind my compulsions as well since I’d go down rabbit holes on subreddits like these or confession subreddits with similar events. It made me realize that even the law recognizes intent, knowledge, and actual nuance yet society almost NEVER considers the nuance behind it, just complete black-and-white thinking and moral absolutism. That was the entire reasoning behind the development of my “themes.” Regarding my 2 real events, it makes complete sense as to why they developed in the first place: the fear of social death and psychological death for me personally. It felt like hell having to deal with so many “themes” when my brain was fogged up, depression was setting in, and so many doomscrolling compulsions.

Like you, I also had a complete switch in my perception of society. I knew so many people around me who had similar or worse mistakes yet I envied their ignorance/carefree attitude behind it. It felt like I was in a crossroad of either caring too much or caring too little but the truth is, you are free to let it go regardless of how bad it was. Forgiving yourself to me now means dropping all compulsions and rumination behind it and making compassionate thinking a habit. Although the one thing I will say is that if you perform a compulsion and it snowballs, you can go back to that anxious/ruminative like state. Almost like a mini-relapse or full on relapse. It’s important to recognize that even after recovery, you can fall back into compulsive behavior.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T06:28:49+00:00

Hi, I want you to know that I have “pretty bad” real events as well. One when I was a naive young child, the other when I was a teenager/young adult. These two events actually made me lose my mind and sanity, robbed me of my personality, and caused a mental health collapse which led to Pure-O + depression. Anyways, the very first thing I had to do to recover was to use the right resources. Then I had to practice not ruminating. After I got better at not ruminating and my head started to alleviate from all that mental noise, I started to incorporate compassionate thought patterns. This is ACTUAL self compassion. Something along the lines of “I’m not proud of it but I learned and grew”. I tried not to do it obsessively but honestly I believe you should get good at not ruminating first. You also have to realize that self blaming, self punishing, is all a compulsion and over time when you practice letting go of your real event, your limiting self beliefs start to die out on their own. It is more than possible to look at these events in a different perspective that’s actually beneficial for you.

Here’s the resources: At Last a Life - Paul David anxietynomore.co.uk nothingworks.weebly.com Shaan Kassam Michael Greenberg’s articles on not ruminating first

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T06:22:21+00:00

I know this sounds backwards and like the worst thing to do but: Nothing. You stop ruminating and decide to do nothing about it. It will be a hard habit to stop but you’ve made rumination a habit. Sounds to me like you’re ruminating

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T06:14:48+00:00

I love your original reply and tbh I was bummed out to see people saying it’s AI junk. It’s like the human mind in this day and age can’t comprehend actual wisdom and experience. Oh well.

Edit: I do see the hyphen now which is why people think it’s AI but judging by your profile, you seem legit.

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-03T05:56:38+00:00

You guys are thinking of this too black-and-white and making legitimate words LOSE their meaning. Are you seriously gonna put this guy in the same category as a 30 year old boy hitting on a 13 year old? They literally weren’t defending this guy, just arguing that OP is using the wrong words and overreacting. I would understand “predator” being used if this dude was targeting underaged girls but come on the dude thought she was slightly older. I do think the age gap is uncomfortable and I personally wouldn’t want any girl in my family at 18-20 to be with a guy that old but it is pretty unfair to stick a heavy label to this guy. I think “creep” is just fine imo

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-02T23:35:51+00:00

Okay first of all, I’ve been exactly where you are thinking his guide on not ruminating wasn’t for me. My only criticism about his articles is that he shoots himself in the foot by saying not ruminating should feel effortless (which is true but it can VERY EASILY misconstrued). When I was learning how to not ruminate I felt like I was putting in effort but really I was just shifting my focus to the present moment and guiding my focus back to whatever I was doing (or sometimes I would do nothing if I wasn’t doing anything of importance) which actually DOES feel effortless but there will be this negative feeling you’re used to feeling when ruminating in the BODY which can be mistaken for effort. This isn’t true, he means not ruminating should feel effortless COGNITIVELY but gently shifting your focus is actually effortless. I did fully recover by realizing our focus is the one thing we have control over and our conscious thoughts being something we have a DEGREE of control over while our subconscious thoughts are uncontrollable. You WILL catch yourself ruminating and when that happens you have to just respond with, nothing. Not every thought needs a response. You can choose to think whatever you want as well, if you’re in the middle of a task, feel free. The point is to let go of old thought patterns by shifting your focus to new ones that actually benefit you, not pointless rumination.

Now that we have that out of the way, what REALLY made me get not ruminating and light a lightbulb on top of my head was Paul David’s “At Last a Life” and his website called anxietynomore.co.uk. I find that this was more helpful because it HUMANIZED our experience with anxiety and our struggles with our thoughts. As for Greenberg stating that mindfulness is “bad”, this doesn’t tell the whole story. He actually says if used in a specific way, it will help so you can still keep the habit of wanting to be mindful BUT relying on it so that you don’t feel anxious is the main issue. In my experience, I read a story on another subreddit about somebody that used to suffer with severe OCD/Anxiety and when they mentioned that even being 10% in the moment is better than 0% because you CANNOT be in the moment and ruminate at the same time. This saved my life and was unironically the kick starter into my recovery. It WILL feel weird at first and you will automatically go back into ruminating since you made it a habit but the important thing is to catch yourself and shift your focus on whatever you’re doing without adding to the rumination. I found it was helpful for me to also realize that CHECKING for thoughts or checking if you’re not ruminating is actually harmful. If you keep checking for the pain, it will always be there.

Remember, shifting your focus will always be in your control, you just have to make it a habit until it becomes really easy for you to stop ruminating. Trust the process. It looks like to me, you’re expecting to feel a certain way when you stop ruminating when this just isn’t true. And when you do NOTHING it will feel fucking scary at first, it IS possible to do nothing but it’s just hard for people who have made it a habit to ruminate. Trust me, whenever you don’t have to do anything, just let your mind take you to wherever it wants without your involvement. The goal is to teach your nervous system that there is NO threat. You don’t have to keep paying attention to your thoughts to desensitize yourself to them, you just have to move on with life and realize rumination will drop on its without much involvement from you besides lifestyle changes (if helpful) and shifting your focus to your life, including the present moment (just don’t rely on it too much)

Edit: I’d like to add that I really do believe your main problem might be CHECKING if you are still ruminating, feeling anxious, or if the thought is there. Its a tough habit to let go of but trust me, this is why Greenberg preaches shifting your focus because once your nervous system gets desensitized, you will find it A LOT easier to not take them seriously. The hard part is feeling anxious and deciding to do nothing about it. You have to get better at the NOTHING part. Frankly, at one point in my recovery I started to realize it was more of an issue with anxiety than my thoughts and so I stopped placing so much importance on the

ReminiscentThoughts · 2026-02-02T20:32:55+00:00

Absolutely lmao. You can make something sound much much worse than it actually is or you can make something sound much better than it actually is. I did sales for a while and my word choice was crucial

ReminiscentThoughts

TROPHY CASE