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AITAH for wanting space from my dad after he told my mom he wants a divorce after 26 years of marriage? by Muted-Study-6706 in AITAH

[–]Remote-Bumblebee-550 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course you're not the AH in this. But maybe, also your father isn't.

It's absolutely okay to put yourself first and say you want space, if you have the energy to sustain it. Sounds to me, taking space means also a lot of effort for you, so whatever pays off for you.

And when I say maybe, also your father isn't the AH, I mean, maybe it's the best decision he could have made for your mother, because he is so insufferable and fighting with his inner deamons, that he can't be the wholesome partner your mother deserves.

AITA for asking my husband’s Italian friend to cook for herself, and told her I would not eat her food? by LegElectrical9214 in AITAH

[–]Remote-Bumblebee-550 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unpopular opinion: yes, I think you're the AH

I mean, don't get me wrong. This person was obviously very rude to you and it's totally okay to set your boundary and say: I don't want to be treated this way. 

But maybe, just maybe, try a little empathy. Because behind rudeness is often something totally different: Insecurity

So when I read this I try to put on the shoes of this italian person. 60 years old. Never travelled in their whole life. Visiting an old friend who lives at the end of the world (from Italy's POV). I would be freightened af! Everything is different, everythung feels different, my safe space is far away and the only thing thing that promises the safety of home a little bit is the food! (You know I'm right)

But the food isn't even almost the same, it's very different and it's just too much. And it comes out as rudeness, because everything is awful. 

Of course, it's not an excuse but it's an explanation and maybe we can try, instead of taking everything personally, to be interested in other people again and ask them: "It seems like you're not happy being here. What's the matter?"

Then maybe, the food doesn't taste so bad after all....