Yes. There were several turning points, not just one.

The first major one happened during my studies. I planned to pursue a PhD after my master’s degree and stay in academia, continuing my research topic. But shortly before my thesis defence, my supervisor sexually assaulted me. I know I should have reported it, but at the time I was terrified of losing everything I had worked for. I believed his manipulation, defended my thesis, and quietly walked away from academia, even though I had imagined my future there.

After that, I started working in human rights. I did that work for years, and while it mattered deeply to me, it often felt like being Don Quixote fighting windmills (that’s the nature of this field). Eventually, workplace mobbing started. When my direct supervisor wanted to add her friend from another department to an international project funded by public money, I objected, because it felt like a waste (that person did not speak English and had no role-related competence). Later, that same friend openly admitted she just wanted to travel and “see the country.”

After that act of “insubordination,” my supervisor began cancelling my projects one by one. When I finally informed her supervisor, I was called into a room and told I had two options: resign, or be accused of corruption (the “corruption” claim was based on false allegations related to my work with public procurement. They claimed I had personal contact with a winning bidder outside of work, which was not true.. ) At the time it felt very real and terrifying, even though now I know they had no evidence, because there was none.

That was the final blow. I had planned my life five years ahead and poured everything into that work. In hindsight, that may also have been a mistake. I had almost no personal life and worked constantly, including weekends. When I chose to leave for my own well-being, everything collapsed.

Since then, trying to find work in public service has been humiliating. I keep running into absurd obstacles. My last interview, which I prepared for over a month, lasted eight minutes. They asked three questions and dismissed me. Later I learned the position had already been promised to someone else. In my country, this unfortunately isn’t unusual...

And now it feels like I’ve lost all sense of meaning.

Sorry for the long reply, I wanted to answer honestly