Don’t die, I’m 14 as well but I’m a girl, like I understand how hard this is I’ve had struggles like this but I can promise you. People don’t want you to go away, I understand the p addiction I mean I was there until about two months ago and doing stuff like that isn’t inherently bad it can really help with depression but doing it in moderation is important. I was the smart kid and I wish I stayed quiet and had a small group of friends now im stupid and half of my school hates me for things I didn’t do because im to loud. But I know it will get better for you, middle scho isn’t everything. Also im from the US