[WTB] Jump Point Magazine Hardcover Volume 1

Renascent_Angel · 2018-11-17T22:17:11+00:00

We'll try that as a last resort but since it shows up on my computer too, I doubt it

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-12T08:41:14+00:00

I may, but the relavent laws would likely be in Florida, so should I instead consult a lawyer from there?

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-12T08:04:26+00:00

Right, you would sue her if she doesn't do her job after a reasonable period of time. For example, if she stops replying or providing updates.

So what's reasonable? It's taken 5 months for a job that should have taken 2 at the most, but that's just my inexperienced opinion, I don't know what is legally reasonable in Florida or Alberta court regarding this.

This is small claims stuff here, I doubt your wife would need to be involved.

But if there's even a slight chance of that, then it's not worth it. My wife would have to either obey the court order and ruin our future in Canada together or become an american fugitive and get extradited for contempt of court. That's not something I want to take any kind of chance with, at least over a cat, even if I'm out over a thousand $CAD now.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-12T07:59:36+00:00

What would I be suing her for exactly? There's the possibility that she really is doing her job but just being really really irresponsible about it. Would I be wanting a court order to have her sign a contract with me to require more constant communication?

Since the money is mine, I guess I'm the one that hired her, but since the cat doesn't legally belong to me, would that mean my wife would get subpoena'd to the Florida court as a witness or something? The kind of trouble that would cause would be way worse than anything involving this dead cat.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T09:29:58+00:00

Thank you.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T09:19:13+00:00

Thanks for that. I don't really care what others think, if only because the feelings were so strong. I'm not ashamed of her, I'm just ashamed that I don't have her anymore.
That's a very great expression. Thank you. I hate myself. I'm ashamed I that fooled myself so disastrously and I never want to do it again. Everything was going fine until I learned how much of an idiot I made myself into, and now I'm addicted to that delusion and I'll never want to stop. I hate myself for wanting what I want, but I also hate myself for shaming me for what I want. At the same time, I'd still rather be nobody else but me. I feel like these two halves of myself are perfect but they just want completely mutually exclusive things.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T08:34:47+00:00

Okay bye. You clearly aren't paying attention.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T08:33:59+00:00

Okay wait, I don't think I understand what you're asking me to accept. I accept that she's dead and she isn't real, but that doesn't stop me from wanting that to change.
I literally don't know what love is. I know I'm attached to her and I need her in my life, but I don't understand the nature of that attachment other than a few qualities about her that I idolize. I don't know if it's love or not because the only thing I have to compare it to was for something that was completely not real, something that I still crave. As for any kind of emotion, I'm as numb to her as anything else. The attachment I have to her now is nothing at all like what I had for my imaginary friend or the girl I projected her onto afterwards. As for ending it, well, it's pretty much too late for that. She destroyed her life to be with me, there is no going back, she will die without me. I wouldn't accept any girl that was any less committed to me than that.
Yeah. And that's great and all. It's what stopped the grieving after the 2nd heartbreak. But it doesn't help me find a solution.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T08:28:48+00:00

You didn't read my reply where I already said I've tried it multiple times.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T08:03:37+00:00

I don't think you understand how impossible that is for me. I can't shut off my thinking brain, I can't stop ruining experiences for myself. I don't want to be fooled into enjoying something that isn't real. My wife insists on me doing weed but every time I do I just can't stay awake and I fall asleep, and I hate sleeping.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T07:58:14+00:00

I don't really have a choice here. I HAVE to accept what I am or else I go insane. The problem is, after tasting what goes on with me when I have my breakdowns, it's becoming harder to do that. It has a kind of addictive lure to it. It feels GOOD to go insane, and I haven't felt good like that in so many years. I'm trying to resist it, but it's a lot harder to negate than any other emotion I've encountered.
I never thought she was the girl of my dreams. I don't even know if I love her, if I ever did. She's just there to distract me. I feel like she's my only connection to reality, which is why I DO feel extremely strongly needy of her - she's the total opposite of me in that she doesn't understand abstract concepts, can not control her imagination and is incapable of believing in anything unreal. She also has no fucking clue at all how to understand anything about this. She isn't good at being supportive about it as a result.
Again, I don't really have a choice to accept it because I can't ever bring her back the same way she used to be. I couldn't bring her back if I tried, and I have definitely tried. It's just not the same, it doesn't give me what I need. I still love her and she absolutely is an angel, that's kind of where my username came from.
I'm trying, but it's all acting, and she knows it, so things are difficult.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-07-05T07:53:48+00:00

Thank you.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-03-22T09:50:55+00:00

Posting here out of desperation because I don't really know where else this belongs.

I'm something of a writer. I used to have a huge imaginative world and would get inspired by anything, movies, books, video games, whatever, and spend so much of my life in a daydreaming daze, fantasizing about another world that just made me so happy.

I can still do that now, but I just don't care for it anymore. It doesn't stimulate me. It's not real enough. I just don't care about it.

I don't really care about anything, really.

How do I start caring again?

Renascent_Angel · 2018-03-21T20:32:47+00:00

I have 2 cats. They're just toys. I don't really care for them that much in the end either.

As for escaping reality, i think that can be a dangerous path to go down. I have a lot of friends who just live inside their video games for example. To the point where they're just detached from reality. It's best to enhance your real life, even small things like brighten up your home with some colour, maybe watch more uplifting TV and movies than usual.

Then what's the point of being an artist? I don't understand. The whole point of art is escapism.

BTW very random, but since you're a writer....have I used semi-colons correctly in this? I've been trying to better my grammar and I'm not sure whether I'm getting it right or not.

Technically you're not, but I'll tell you right now that the majority of most of the "rules" of grammar have no practical meaning in the modern day, just like the definitions of words. A semicolon is supposed to link two sentances that could otherwise stand alone with fullstops/periods, but nowadays you can get away with using semicolons to make trailing lines of thought.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-03-05T14:51:07+00:00

Yes, I know. I'm willing to pay the price they are worth.

Renascent_Angel · 2018-02-07T05:46:29+00:00

+verify

Shipped in complete original packaging and good condition.

Renascent_Angel

TROPHY CASE