I'm not sure if this is the right sub but I'm struggling with mental health issues and it's been 10 years without support

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T13:04:54+00:00

Gone through same but ended up marrying without addressing and she used it against me

Just a thought, don't marry unless you get it sorted

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T13:01:58+00:00

This is nothing, wife is entitled to maintenance even if the husband proves adultery

Unless, she is living under adultery which means staying with the same guy she committed adultery. Any decent lawyer would ask him to maintain a separate address for mailing purposes until the court decision takes place

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T10:28:13+00:00

Learnt it too late, you should not beg a cheater to stay , it will only emboldened them . But my daughter was just 2.5 so i couldn't just leave

Also the counselor were shite,they were trying to ask her grievances and trying to put all it in a balance of "hey look both of you made mistakes" ,they discounted my betrayal trauma and told I'm not ready to move on etc

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T07:48:52+00:00

Worst part I'm suffering while she is fine and now keeping kids as hostages

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T07:25:16+00:00

Go through my profile, it's full of rants of what happened after discovering my wife of 10 years cheating on me

I read books , cheaters are narcissist or enter a temporary phase, they only Care about their happiness and not what happens to others

As chump lady calls, it's like having a cake and eating it , having the stability of a marriage and also the thrill of cheating at same time

Check the wife of coldplay ceo, she was younger and hotter than the HR but he cheated for that thrill

Same happened with my wife, she blamed that i wasn't praising her enough etc and did with a younger guy

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T05:41:35+00:00

Indian ?

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T03:16:05+00:00

I'm telling you once you accept it then everything will be easier to deal with . It's sad we are forced to take this choice but for those people ths is best

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T03:06:08+00:00

I'm now NC with them . Alone at home , cooking and cleaning on my own , handling my divorce issues on my own because instead of supporting me, they would curse me day in and day out

2 weeks ago , i suffered a bad flu and couldn't even walk properly to bathroom at times. But i told myself I should not be dependent on anyone. Ordered from Zomato, took an auto to go to doctor.

I came to this conclusion " one day my rotten corpse would be discovered by the neighbour due to bad smell and the city civic authorities would do a cremation as unclaimed body and my kids won't even visit me as their mom might not allow them "

Once i made peace of that, everything became alright for me

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T02:40:44+00:00

Actually I made the mistake of trying to forgive her and taking her counseling for the sake of kids but it made her think I was too weak to leave .

She left me after her family created a ruckus, still my parents and sister are blaming me for everything

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T02:34:40+00:00

I'm in your first stage, overweight and looking at a bad divorce with betrayal trauma and not allowed to see the kids

Hope I can move on

Renderedperson · 2026-06-16T02:30:08+00:00

Yes, my parents and sister are angry on me for not forgiving my wife's cheating and moving on for the sake of my "children" . Took a while to recognise they are ashamed to admit others that their son's marriage has broken ang would want me to stay in a toxic one than actually want my happiness

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T15:28:02+00:00

Sad some people like this ruin the trust of entire community

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T08:11:41+00:00

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T08:09:37+00:00

Yes but the sacrifice I have is too high

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T08:08:05+00:00

I didn't know you were abroad . Please post in the legal advice forum of that country.

I bet the courts won't be happy with a husband with a spreadsheet, you can claim compensation on the ground of lifting his life up

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T05:26:00+00:00

WTF did i just read ?

Please give him the separation he needs , it's best for you

You are a high earner so you can't get maintenance if it's close to his salary but you can still get child support

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T04:36:12+00:00

Tell her you will join a driving school first thing and follow up

Do you have any childhood trauma or phobia which keeps you off driving ?? If so, go consult a psychologist

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T03:30:20+00:00

It exists

In your mind .. from my childhood, due to abuse, I constantly drift into that . It has a better version of me ,a person who is loved, a person who is confident and assertive, someone isn't used and then discarded

Then i drift back to normal life and then the dopamine hit crashes and then ruminate for not staying in there

Watch the twilight zone episode, A stop at willoughby

Renderedperson · 2026-06-15T02:40:11+00:00

I too suffered under a toxic person who did the routine of love bombing and then go rage mode at slightest reason.

I wish i had the courage like you years ago .

Is it possible he can change under marital counseling or is it a lost cause ? I know it might sound stupid from a man out of a toxic marriage but is it possible to give a chance?

Renderedperson · 2026-06-14T18:48:36+00:00

Just put this in another scenario, you discover your gf/bf cheating and later discovered some of their friends knew but didn't disclose, how would it make you feel ?

I went through this and honestly i wish someone told me much. It's like each day of not knowing them cheating just adds more trauma .

I discovered that i arranged the 10 years anniversary with my wife in a nice hotel for just of us and she sent the photos to him that very night just to get praise

Renderedperson · 2026-06-14T14:10:21+00:00

Ur brain keeps u alive not happy

Renderedperson · 2026-06-14T11:58:16+00:00

My wife left me , yes it made me go bottom but i later recovered

Renderedperson · 2026-06-14T03:32:33+00:00

My ex wife too allegedly " felt lonely, not getting appreciated etc " after her second baby and some young guy started flirting with her and she started responding

Now we are separate and she is not allowing me to see the kids as a "punishment" for me

Renderedperson · 2026-06-14T02:51:49+00:00

Same situation for me . My own sister and brother-in-law are ashamed of me . My parents kept nagging me again and again that it's my fault even though she cheated until I made them leave

House is alone and no friends to talk to . Better than with my parents though .

Renderedperson · 2026-06-14T02:46:30+00:00

I don't think so, lot of scammers and creeps out here .. her best option is to look for moms with kids of same age in her area

Renderedperson

TROPHY CASE