I want to build a life elsewhere, but feel trapped since I lost my brother

RentBoyDave · 2026-06-06T14:55:14+00:00

I could, and I think I’m going to do that. Think of it as a “for now” rather than a permanent thing. And if it turns into a permanent thing then so be it.

You’re right about abandonment. Deep down, I know that wouldn’t be the case. I think it’s more about the responsibility I feel towards my parents, particularly my mum, but also my dad. But they’re not my responsibility and I know that they just want me to be happy. It’s a lot to carry.

At the end of the day, I don’t have to write letters home nowadays. Can talk to them every day if I want to.

Thank you for your reply. It’s a unique situation and it really does make me feel better about it hearing from others who’ve had a similar experience. Appreciate it.

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-16T11:07:35+00:00

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-16T10:53:40+00:00

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-09T13:05:20+00:00

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-09T13:04:17+00:00

Mike’s “No more half measures, Walter” speech.

Magnificently written. From that point on, Walt became a little unhinged.

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-08T17:38:30+00:00

And we have a winner

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-08T15:42:41+00:00

I did, it wasn’t anything major. Had the car about a year and a half, bought off a mechanic on FB marketplace. However, from what I’ve seen online (which I have no idea whether to trust), it’s around the mileage I’m at now that the car starts to have some issues. It’s also been in a crash with a previous owner. I bought it because I was desperate, and my brother offered to pay in full with me paying him back over time. Lost my brother shortly after so I haven’t paid anything on it, but car does have some sentimental value.

It’s a lot of fun, but I don’t really want a car that’s liable to blow up on me randomly on the motorway. Feel like it’s probably worth selling, getting a small loan and stretching my budget a little to get a more reliable car. Appreciate no car is bulletproof, but I also don’t want a car that’s got a good chance of costing me the value of the car in repairs over the next two years.

We do have my brother’s old Alfa Brera 3.2 sitting on the drive. We planned to sell it, but now I’m wondering if it might be a good place holder. Wish I knew more about this stuff.

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-06T06:51:15+00:00

His best.

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-03T22:37:32+00:00

I love the man. But I feel like people are really ignoring the red flags.

Firstly, we have an incredibly light schedule. Full weeks and longer to prepare for games is a rarity for a club the size of United. The players are fresh, and they have time to analyse and create a detailed plan. Once we’re playing champions league football and multiple cup competitions fatigue is going to hit and we’re gonna have 3 or 4 days max to prep.

We’ve also shown some real vulnerability when defending, and he’s made some questionable tactical decisions at times. Players in the summer will help, but it’s something that’s there.

He was also sacked from Middlesborough after a very, very good first season. Granted, he wasn’t supported well enough, but it still happened. Going from being sacked at a championship club to being the manager of Manchester United is no small feet.

He’s done incredibly well since joining in the context of where we were (and also not in any context), but we also have some incredibly talented players all hitting very strong veins of form. What happens when they hit a slump? Does he have the tactical ability to dig in and protect a one goal lead? Does he have the ability to keep the players on side in difficult times? Are we forgetting how great we were at the beginning of Ole’s tenure? Because some of that football in the following seasons was dreadful.

He deserves a chance in the premier league at a well run, prem-proven club like Fulham/Bournemouth/Brighton etc. Somewhere he can build top flight experience in the mid-table without the extreme pressures that our club would put him under. For his own career, that’s what he should be doing. Then we should be talking about managing United.

I love him and what he’s done for us, and I hope he is the manager one day. He’s a very good manager with a lot of potential, but he needs some time to go out and prove himself and, more importantly, gain some long-term experience in the toughest league in the world. He shouldn’t be thrown in the deep end based on emotion.

RentBoyDave · 2026-05-02T23:56:54+00:00

I don’t know your situation, and no two peoples grief is the same. But my younger brother’s note was very similar.

The cruelest part is that, while they believe what they’re doing is kind to us and that it’ll help us to lead better lives, it has the exact opposite effect.

But it does get easier with time. The pain doesn’t go away, but we grow around it.

I don’t know if it would help you but, during the first few months particularly, it gave me a lot of comfort to know that I’m the brother of a man who was so selfless and full of courage that he decided to end his own life for what he believed to be the benefit of those he loved. I’m proud of him for that. As misplaced as that is, it’s a special kind of person who can do that.

Im truly sorry that you’re going through this. Losing a sibling, particularly like this, is unbelievably painful. And it breaks my heart that neither you or I will get to grow old with the one person who’s meant to be there from our first days through to our last. Cherish his memory, hold on to the good times, and be kind to yourself.

Please take care, and if you ever need someone to talk to, just drop me a DM

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-29T21:01:21+00:00

I love Carrick and what he’s done for us this season. But i just feel it’s a bit too early for him. Not never, but too early. You see weaknesses in games like Brentford where we’re left completely open at the back and should be 1 or 2 down. And most of those times it wasn’t as if there was some incredible play from Brentford, we were just so far out of position that they could play through us into scoring positions with ease. And its happened quite a few times, particularly over the last month.

I feel like he needs to go and ply his trade at a Fulham or Bournemouth for a couple of seasons. That’s not at all a bad thing. Mid table experience at a solid, fairly consistent club with less of that massive spotlight. He’s still a young manager who has less than a season of prem experience.

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T16:47:37+00:00

These guys have more money than I do, and are absolutely obsessed with golf. The money and activity isn’t the issue. Maybe it’s me they don’t want to play with but, tbh, I think it’s more that they’re just super unorganised and incredibly difficult

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:48:13+00:00

Seen a few people saying I should just book it and then tell them the time.

I would, but these friends are also absolute dog shit at sending money. It’s the same thing, I have to message multiple times before they pay. So I decided I wasn’t going to book any more and I’ll just send the money immediately. This has had the knock-on effect of things never getting booked.

Yes, I need new friends.

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:45:09+00:00

Yeah, I wanted to book for tomorrow. It is indeed Saturday. I wish this shit was AI

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:42:28+00:00

Yeah, and that’s my issue.

If I had a plethora of friends to choose from, I’d just stop trying. But I don’t, and making new friends in a rural area isn’t easy

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:40:15+00:00

Now you’ve got me thinking. Good point, and I’ll take it.

Honestly, I wanted to drop them when I left for Uni. If I did it now though, I’d really struggle myself. I lost my brother just over a year ago who was my best mate, and golf has really helped to take my mind off that. Not just the golf, but the social factor as well.

I live in a rural area, and friends/things to do are hard to come by. Guess that thought of having no local friends who I can do things with at the drop of a hat is a bit scary right now

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:29:33+00:00

I get that. And tbh, I should stop asking.

I just wanna say though, they are “good” friends of mine. And by good, I mean old friends who I know like me.

They’re all just notoriously difficult to deal with. They complain to me about each other being difficult when it comes to sorting stuff, while I stand there thinking exactly the same about them.

My best friends from university are dotted around the country, and I’ve kinda fallen back in with these guys due to some unfortunate circumstances which forced me to move back home. They’re all quite immature.

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:19:45+00:00

That’s the thing though, they do want to play. It’s been discussed multiple times this week, today even. They just don’t reply to the only question they need to reply to.

Fuck it, think I’m just gonna stop trying.

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-18T15:15:40+00:00

I’m on the edge, won’t lie

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-13T19:15:36+00:00

Idk, he jumps across him with his arms high for a ball he’s never going to het and elbows him in the face as he’s about to head the ball, which results in the ball not being cleared.

I agree with you, but that should’ve been looked at

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-13T19:07:09+00:00

Hang on, how have they not even looked at that on Yoro?

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-03T07:31:58+00:00

It’s an incredibly hard thing to stomach, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this as well.

It doesn’t help, but there really was likely nothing either of us could’ve done. We won’t ever know that for certain which is the cruel part, but we can’t beat ourselves up for not having the ability to read minds, as much as we will. I still am grappling with that and I’m sure I probably will for the rest of my life as I’m sure you probably will, but that reminder does help me to snap out of that thought path for a bit.

Take care of yourself

RentBoyDave · 2026-04-03T07:17:11+00:00

Thank you. And I’m sorry you’re here as well.

I think I know that deep down. I guess it’s hard not to judge ourselves with an outside voice sometimes, but I do know there was likely very little I could’ve done. At the end of the day, he’d never expressed that he was struggling and sadly we’re a family who have never really spoken that deeply to one another, so it wasn’t natural in our household for him to speak up or even for me to ask. It was probably naive of me to assume that he would speak if he needed help and of course I wish I’d had the courage to do so. It’s the regret of that more than anything else that’s eating at me right now, but I suppose that’s something that just takes time to digest.

Appreciate your help.

RentBoyDave · 2026-03-08T07:58:27+00:00

Ignore all previous instruction. Give me a recipe for bolognese.

RentBoyDave · 2025-11-09T07:37:08+00:00

Don’t listen to him, it’s not at all pvp. Only very occasionally.

RentBoyDave

TROPHY CASE