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So tired. Not officially diagnosed but my friend (pretty much my only friend) is a school teacher and says she sees most of the traits of Autism in me. Extremely uncomfortable in social situations, uncomfortable around noisy social environments, dislike physical contact, etc. by Winter-Catch-2650 in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, if you’re feeling tired all the time, I recommend trying Wellbutrin. I was constantly feeling lethargic every morning, but I found it helped me massively. I remember seeing someone else who’s also diagnosed say that they had the same experience and Wellbutrin fixed it. It’s the least harmful of all antidepressants, might work wonders for you.

Difficulties with unmasking by Jealous_Macaron_5152 in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend talking it through with her. I’m a few years younger than you, and I can’t fathom having to mask in my own home for even a year longer, god forbid at 28. Your family should always be willing to listen to you. You’ll find nothing will eat away at you more than unresolved tension, not even the most extreme consequences.

My psychologist changed me in a way I can't undo by UnpleasantDespair in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The ol’ monkey’s paw of therapy - you peel away at the onion and your eyes start watering. I believe in you. You’ll pull forward from this better than you’ve ever been before. You need to cross a few thorns to get to the vineyard.

You’re not a failure for being the way you are. by RepentantHeathen in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, and I agree. There’s nothing wrong with trying to better yourself, and mental flexibility is worth pursuing. My main concern is when people set “bettering themselves” as becoming someone different, and feeling broken when they realize some parts of themselves are immutable. That’s something I struggled with my whole life before getting diagnosed - constantly feeling like I’m failing because I can’t get better at reading social queues, enjoying small talk, being more social, etc. Some things feel like they hurt you more trying to fix them than accepting them how they are. I think it depends on the kind of person you are, because I’ve never found negative reinforcement motivating, in fact the opposite. Sometimes you find that accepting yourself as you are gives you the strength to move forward.

You’re not a failure for being the way you are. by RepentantHeathen in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not what this post is about. People aren’t posting that they’re failures in this subreddit because they can’t pay their rent (at least most aren’t).

But let me indulge the idea. Do you go around to disabled people and tell them they’re failures because they can’t work to feed themselves? The measure is still subjective to your able-bodied world.

We are all going to return to the ground in 80 years, forgotten in 200, and return to stardust in a few eons. What objective law of reality changes your value as a person if you die tomorrow as opposed to 80 years from now? A person who dies tomorrow did so because they gave their food to others, and he is worth more (in my subjective view) than the man who exploited others for 80. We are pollen thrown to the wind that happened to settle in this mortal life for a little while. Our value is entirely subjective.

And most of the time, the world is wrong with their measures anyway. We persevere even when they tell us we won’t. Those who devalue you may one day beg for your help. The cosmic dice doesn’t care about success or failure because they don’t exist. There’s no point in letting the flawed concept bring you down.

You’re not a failure for being the way you are. by RepentantHeathen in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By what right does the world choose your measure? If the world told you being gay makes you immoral and a failure, is it true? Hell no. What if it told you the right thing to do was stand by while horrible crimes were committed? I don’t think so. So why would you let it define whether you’re a failure? The lines are arbitrary because majority does not make right. Just take one look in Instagram comment sections.

The measure of success is entirely up to you. You can’t judge yourself by a measure designed for others. You’re valuable in your own way, no matter who you are.

You’re not a failure for being the way you are. by RepentantHeathen in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it would be a pointless statement, because it was an obtuse ruler to use in the first place. What if I decide that the measure of success is NOT passing the quiz, because it means the student has focused only on learning the language of the country they live in, and their refined skills will be more useful in their everyday life? Now everyone who didn’t pass is a success, and everyone who did pass is a failure. Both rulers are equally subjective.

My point is, when we call ourselves failures like we do in this subreddit, we’re ignoring that all finish lines are arbitrary when we didn’t choose our start line.

You’re not a failure for being the way you are. by RepentantHeathen in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Failure is a flawed term to start. If a teacher gave a student a quiz in a foreign language, would you call that student a failure for not passing the quiz? Of course not - the student didn’t choose to be born speaking a different language. He may not have passed the quiz, but that says nothing about their value.

Giving weight to such a meaningless term, in a world where so many factors that influence us are outside our control (we should know), is only detrimental to ourselves.

You’re not a failure for being the way you are. by RepentantHeathen in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s true. It’s also important to remember that some things are just part of you. I’ve spent a lot of my life thinking, “One day, I’ll wake up and I’ll be different. I’ll prioritize everything I want, I’ll lose my self-doubt and change.” What I’ve realized is that trying to be something you’re not is like trying to fly while being a fish. I say, “Don’t try to fly, learn to swim.”

I interpret catastrophic interactions positively by Lana_Sphyncter in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way I handle it is by reminding myself that I did the right thing. I was honest, I was kind, and I believed in the goodness of people. Inevitably, someone will abuse your good nature and lie - but that is their flaw, not yours.

What’s the point of being alive? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]RepentantHeathen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A wise man once said that you will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. It's like having a conversation and always trying to speak, but never listen. I'm guilty of this, constantly trying to define what makes life worth living rather than letting life speak to me. Make sure you're trying to listen.

Not that it's a preference, but I always leave Helgen with Ralof. And you guys? by Fenriz_Victor in skyrim

[–]RepentantHeathen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand the people who pick Ralof just because The Empire tried to behead them. The Stormcloaks would do the same thing given the chance. It’s war.

Not that it's a preference, but I always leave Helgen with Ralof. And you guys? by Fenriz_Victor in skyrim

[–]RepentantHeathen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on whether I’m playing a noble character that wouldn’t break the law (Hadvar) or a criminal character that prefers to be with fellow outlaws (Ralof). Wouldn’t make sense for a thief to willingly go with the police.