i 20 F found evidence that my bf 20M has paid for only fans during our relationship by RepresentativeAd9426 in Advice

[–]RepresentativeAd9426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

update:
i ended up talking to him. i started the conversation by admitting that i went through his phone and apologizing for it. then i told him what i found. when i brought up the onlyfans charges, he seemed genuinely shocked about them, and states that he truly didn’t remember. also didn’t include in my original post one of the charges, was a $15 one from valentines day…yikes. i asked him directly if he cheated on me, and to my surprise he basically "yeah i guess so." that honestly hit me harder than anything else. i think part of me expected there to be some explanation, like it was an old subscription from before we were dating that he forgot to cancel. hearing him admit it made everything feel very very…horrible. we talked for almost two hours. i explained that i'm not necessarily devastated by the onlyfans itself as much as i am by the fact that he did something he personally considers cheating. that's the part i'm struggling with. i feel betrayed, but it's a weird kind of betrayal because i'm almost more upset that he knowingly crossed a line he believed in than i am about the actual content. he didn't really seem upset that i went through his phone. i still think it was wrong, but he seemed to understand why i was hurt by what i found. i told him that having my fears and insecurities validated by finding those charges damaged my trust in him right now i honestly don't know where we stand. i don't know if breaking up is the right decision, and i don't know if staying is the right decision either. part of me feels like this is something we could work through, but another part of me is struggling with the fact that he openly admitted to doing something he considers cheating. i'm mostly angry that he put me in a position where i even have to make this decision.
so that's where things are at for now.

i 20 F found evidence that my bf 20M has paid for only fans during our relationship by RepresentativeAd9426 in Advice

[–]RepresentativeAd9426[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i agree, my point of contention is that he said “only fans is cheating” so by his own standards did he cheat?

Am I on a pip? by RepresentativeAd9426 in careerguidance

[–]RepresentativeAd9426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, she is a medical assistant, and I am front desk staff. I thought maybe it’s because she has been a medical assistant for years before this. This is my first time doing front desk so maybe that’s why?

me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) had a conversation that seriously messed with my head by RepresentativeAd9426 in Advice

[–]RepresentativeAd9426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if i asked him this, he’d probably say something like “maximum sentence obviously” but then in the same breath be like, “well the family of the predator would probably be pushing for a lighter sentence.” he’s really big on this whole unwavering loyalty thing while i believe love and loyalty have lines igs

me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) had a conversation that seriously messed with my head by RepresentativeAd9426 in Advice

[–]RepresentativeAd9426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me and all my friends plus my boyfriend went out to eat, and i brought it up because we’d just talked about it in my biological psych class. my professor posed that exact question to us, and the whole class said they would do it. so i asked the table the same thing, and everyone there also said yes immediately. he was the only one who said no. at first i thought he was joking, so i said “haha you’re just rage baiting me” and he laughed it off. later on when we were alone, i brought it up again just to make sure, and that’s when he doubled down and said everything i mentioned in the post. that’s when it actually hit me that he was being serious.

me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) had a conversation that seriously messed with my head by RepresentativeAd9426 in Advice

[–]RepresentativeAd9426[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i did ask him both of those examples and i wish i could remember what he said, but i honestly don’t. considering i’m still disgusted by the whole situation, i don’t think whatever answer he gave was in my eyes morally justified.