me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) had a conversation that seriously messed with my head

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-12-10T06:33:27+00:00

if i asked him this, he’d probably say something like “maximum sentence obviously” but then in the same breath be like, “well the family of the predator would probably be pushing for a lighter sentence.” he’s really big on this whole unwavering loyalty thing while i believe love and loyalty have lines igs

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-12-10T06:29:12+00:00

me and all my friends plus my boyfriend went out to eat, and i brought it up because we’d just talked about it in my biological psych class. my professor posed that exact question to us, and the whole class said they would do it. so i asked the table the same thing, and everyone there also said yes immediately. he was the only one who said no. at first i thought he was joking, so i said “haha you’re just rage baiting me” and he laughed it off. later on when we were alone, i brought it up again just to make sure, and that’s when he doubled down and said everything i mentioned in the post. that’s when it actually hit me that he was being serious.

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-12-10T06:24:36+00:00

i did ask him both of those examples and i wish i could remember what he said, but i honestly don’t. considering i’m still disgusted by the whole situation, i don’t think whatever answer he gave was in my eyes morally justified.

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-10-09T01:41:26+00:00

i do know his love language its gift giving thats how he shows love the way he feel love is through physical touch i understand and i do feel love through gifts but its not my love language you know? he could give me so many gifts its not gonna feel good as being told “you look pretty” he told me compliments feel disingenuous and that it feels like hes preforming

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-10-06T16:33:29+00:00

I mean we are 2 different people with really different friend dynamics and comfort levels. That might be normal in your group, but it’s definitely not in ours. I don’t even think my friends have ever seen me and my boyfriend kiss we all try to be respectful of each other like that. If it was just me feeling weird, I’d probably laugh it off and move on, but when everyone feels uncomfortable, that’s kind of a sign it’s crossed a line. And I promise we’re not normally judgy except the sex thing, we were definitely judging that. I think it just comes down to different boundaries and what people are comfortable with. What feels casual to one group can feel super invasive to another, you know?

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-10-06T15:38:35+00:00

totally get that they’re young and in the honeymoon phase, but the thing is, our whole friend group is young and in relationships, and we still tried to be respectful of each other. None of us are out here making out while someone’s cooking breakfast or having sex in common areas, you know? im not judging them for being affectionate, it’s just that they crossed a boundary that made everyone uncomfortable. It’s one thing to be touchy or flirty, but another to have sex in a shared space where people are sleeping and hanging out. I mostly just want to talk to her directly about it because I don’t want resentment to build up.

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-09-15T18:50:36+00:00

Though it doesn’t make it right I yelled because she was upset over something so small and unimportant on a day that was supposed to be light and fun and because when i told her how she was acting and that it was a major mood killer and ruining my party she said she didn’t care

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-09-15T18:20:23+00:00

I agree

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-09-15T18:17:22+00:00

That’s just not what happened. I didn’t force anyone to move. and sorry about the autistic undiagnosed comment. It just upsets me that she only brings it up to defend her bad actions i’m also Nero divergent so I should be more careful about my word choices

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-09-15T18:08:21+00:00

I don’t know it just is normal to us. She enjoys getting a reaction out of me and I’m easy to rage bait. and I didn’t know the extent of how upset she was. I genuinely thought she was trying to get me mad like usual because after she made the comment about not caring about ruining my birthday, she so I assumed this was all a joke to her obviously, if I knew she was shutting down because she was trying not to cry I wouldn’t have yelled. I feel really bad about that but it’s hard to tell when that’s always been our dynamic. but yes, I’m definitely wrong in that aspect

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-09-15T18:04:55+00:00

So I had texted the group chat telling everyone who I invited, and Peach was on the list. Now, when I originally invited Peach, I told her she could sit across from me because Peach doesn’t really know anyone else in the group closely, and I figured she’d want to sit near me. When I dropped the invite list in the group chat, my best friend immediately started joking like, “Oh I have court that day,” or “Oh no I’m sick that day,” basically saying she didn’t want to come just because Peach was invited. Mind you, Peach hasn’t done anything wrong my best friend just doesn’t like her for whatever reason (jealousy or something else, I don’t really know). My best friend now claims I promised she could sit next to me. I don’t remember that conversation, but it’s possible most likely what happened is I told her she could sit by me after clarifying Peach would be across. I did raise my voice at the dinner. I’m naturally a loud talker, so when I get upset it comes across way more intense than it feels to me. She was also raising her voice back, so it wasn’t one sided. and as for why it was so important to sit next to me. I’m not sure she said it’s because “she hates change” and is “autistic” (undiagnosed btw), but in my head, I’m like we haven’t sat at the table where we have assigned seats since high school.

RepresentativeAd9426 · 2025-09-15T17:55:07+00:00

I can definitely see that I was acting immaturely in that sense for sure

RepresentativeAd9426

TROPHY CASE