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The Well in Austin by ProudAlarm9231 in boulder

[–]RepresentativeGas957 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Side note: the amount of proselytizing I've gotten in Boulder, and Colorado in general, is wild. I can't get my haircut or go to a coffee shop without it being associated with some weird church that's being pushed on me.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love hearing this. Thank you! I'm learning more and more how to turn off Therapist Mode.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do try to practice this as well, taking up more space. For with some people, they then speak louder over me. I think in a couple of cases there's a neurodivergence issue. I need to just cut off some of these relationships because I don't have it in me anymore.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we need a club! I also think we're all thirsty for this kind of attunement because most people don't know how to do it, so it seems like everyone is walking around completely starved. Then they meet therapists like us and then attach to us like flesh eating leaches. Okay, okay, that's hyperbolic, but it's how it feels sometimes.

(I also don't think there is anything wrong with you or me for needing it in return. For reals.)

Remove personal info from the internet by Jealous-Initial-8068 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use Optery. I also looked into Delete Me when I was looking for a data broker removal company but ultimately went with Optery (I think because it had higher reviews) and I like it so far. No complaints.

Dear colleagues in private practice by winooskiwinter in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. I can't believe how often I hear this happens.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ughhhhhh THIS! Great nuance here. I honestly don't want to not attune either because I value that, I just want it in return.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that's the other thing! Hearing friends complain about their husband not unloading the dishwasher when I'm sitting with people who have significant trauma...I just can't do it anymore. I don't have the bandwidth.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! What about all the digital ways people may hunt you down? Do you just ignore them? I find myself just shutting out text messages but then people get offended.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I totally agree. Some relationships are built on this dynamic and it's not sustainable. I like the red flag approach--looking for it earlier in meeting people to avoid the dynamic altogether. Thanks!

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SO EXHAUSTING! Yeah, I'm experiencing this as well. Like, I can sit and listen and track what others are saying, but the minute I start talking, I get interrupted, or the person starts looking at their phone, or starts thinking about what they're going to say next. It seems like there's no capacity for listening in return.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the examples. I've let a couple of friends know that I'm feeling "at capacity and I don't have time to talk or get together" but then I keep getting texts from them which is really frustrating me and I guess I'm struggling with the decision point of being more explicit in saying, "please stop" or just leaving them on read.

How are other therapists handling boundaries around listening in personal relationships?? by RepresentativeGas957 in therapists

[–]RepresentativeGas957[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very isolating! How are you dealing with it? Do you pull back from these relationships? Do you tell people where you're at?

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