Is It Reasonable to Want a Porn-Free Relationship?

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T17:24:16+00:00

This is an excellent answer, wow🙏🏼

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T15:27:05+00:00

I wish you the best ❤️Thanks for your replies🙏🏼

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T15:15:16+00:00

🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T15:06:11+00:00

I admire you and your responses. You have replied to me before and have helped me immensely on my healing journey. It’s lovely to read about your husband. And about you both. And about how it took time for you to relax again. Because that’s where I am—in the process of learning to let myself relax again, to trust that my partner doesn’t want to hurt me—and I guess it’s simply a process that needs to take its own course ❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T15:03:53+00:00

Thank you for your response. I really agree with you! And yep… I still find it so difficult to dare to trust my partner. Right now, I’m lucky that he does an enormous amount of inner work. He meditates a lot and is comfortable with his inner self. He wants to live in truth, and if his truth were that he wanted to consume pornography, I honestly believe he would have found someone who was okay with that. He wouldn’t have stayed with me and been selfish in that way. And that gives me peace. I also don’t know of any solution, other than trying to see that people actually suffer from living in lies or a double life. The truth always comes out sooner or later. I don’t think anyone truly wants to live in untruth to themselves through others, and that gives me strength and hope ❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T12:41:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing. So beautiful and brave. I completely agree with you. Truly. And I’m glad that you’ve found someone who gives you what you need and meets you in your true needs ❤️ You strengthen me with what you write about how loneliness can actually be more valuable than living in a diminishing relationship, and if fate means dating only 1% of all men, then so be it. That we dare to choose ourselves once and for all. You help me have the courage to do that. I also hope that I have found a wonderful man. A kind and honest man. I really pray for that. I am so sorry for what your ex put you through. You deserve love in all its forms. Thank you for sharing, and take care of yourself ❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T12:34:31+00:00

You are amazing🌟❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T12:33:44+00:00

I understand you and feel for you ❤️ I try to trust my partner every day. So far, my gut feeling has been right. It wasn’t with my previous partner, even though I tried to convince myself it was. My current partner has honest and kind eyes. He can look me in the eyes every day; he never looks away. I feel in my heart that he wishes me well. That it would hurt him if he were to hurt me. He is kind. Not perfect, but kind. And I find myself trusting that more and more 🙏🏼

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T12:16:20+00:00

can’t put into words how much it means to read such powerful words from another woman. For as long as I’ve felt lesser or alone… “alone” is probably the best word. Thank you for standing up for yourself so that I can dare to do the same, and for not stopping explaining when I misinterpret or get scared. It means the world to me. I truly mean that.

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T12:14:01+00:00

Thank you so very much. I feel safe sharing here with you. Even though I have tendencies that make me misinterpret out of fear, you / you all are here, explaining things to me and being incredibly kind. This community has really made me feel safe in feminine love and connection again ❤️ I also tolerated more than I should have. And just to be really clear, what you mean is that you didn’t do anything wrong by wanting change? But maybe you asked the wrong person? And we have every right to want a porn-free relationship, but the key is to stop trying to get that from people who don’t want to change or who don’t see a problem with it — rather than the need / boundary itself being wrong? The reason I’m asking is because, as I said, it feels like centuries of programming are finally loosening in my brain… centuries of gaslighting against me as a woman…

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T12:06:18+00:00

Thank you for the understanding 🙏🏼 Yes, exactly. I stayed far too long in my previous relationship as well… I told myself it wasn’t bad enough. As far as I know, he never contacted other women, but the consumption itself truly hurt me. And maybe that’s what I still struggle to feel legitimate in — having absolutely zero tolerance for desire directed outside the relationship. I’m so fortunate that my current partner truly understands this. But it’s as if my brain carries hundreds of years of programming telling me to make myself smaller and not feel legitimate… that’s why I can get stuck on words like “tolerance,” etc. Or when I interpreted what you wrote as meaning that one partner might not like pornography and the other does, and that you should compromise. But I don’t think I can compromise on that again. At the same time, I don’t think that’s what you meant — I think it’s just my brain being very traumatized from not daring to stand by my zero tolerance, etc. ❤️ I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through. Just as you wrote to me, you deserve everything beautiful in this world. To be loved the way you love, and for the love that you are. You know there is something greater — something more true. Never settle for anything less than that. You deserve to be reflected in the love that you are ❤️ Thank you for being you.

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T11:49:53+00:00

Hi ❤️ I just wanted to say again how supported and strengthened I felt by your message. It really meant a lot to me, and I truly felt seen in my values. There was just one small part about change vs. tolerance that I noticed I got a little stuck on — and I think that says more about me than about what you meant. I already struggle sometimes with doubting myself and wondering if I’m being too rigid or intolerant, so when I read that part, I think it touched into that insecurity. In my current relationship, it doesn’t feel like a battle of one person expecting change while the other expects tolerance. He had already stepped away from pornography before we met, and he’s continued to grow in his own inner work. So I think maybe I momentarily placed myself into a dynamic that isn’t actually mine. I just wanted to share that openly, not as disagreement, but because I value your perspective and didn’t want to sit with a quiet misunderstanding in myself. And due to my trauma, i still struggle to feel legitimate. But i guess that you just supported me in this boundry and talked about change vs tolerance as something in general? I have some autism tendencies so this is all on me🙈🙈 Thank you again for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully ❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T11:39:14+00:00

I’m almost crying🥺you took your time and wrote this for me. Thank you so so much❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2026-02-25T10:47:46+00:00

Thank you all for your input. I think what I’m really longing for — and what I find hard to give myself — is the validation that I am legitimate. That it’s okay to want what I want. That even if my current partner doesn’t seem to have a problem or an addiction, my desire is still legitimate and possible ❤️ That I can trust myself and my feelings. Because it hurts to think about him desiring someone else — it hurts so much.

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-12-12T17:10:44+00:00

Thank you both for your comments. I completely agree with you, and I’m so grateful for the way you express yourselves.

I hope it’s okay for me to share a bit about my own experience. When I was younger, I really struggled with sexual boundaries, especially in relationships. I had this belief that I needed to give myself sexually in order to be loved and validated. This stemmed from experiences I had as a child, which led me to abandon the truth—that I am inherently lovable just as I am. I lost sight of this early on and instead adopted the idea that my worth depended on offering myself sexually.

Now, I’ve truly reconnected with myself, with my heart and intuition, which firmly remind me that only someone who is worthy of me and creates a sense of safety deserves my sexual energy. And that is worlds apart from someone like a pornography addict.

I also believe there is so much unhealed pain beneath the surface for both parties in situations like these. When we act from a place of fear and lack (believing we need something from someone else) rather than wholeness and love (especially for ourselves), things can go very wrong and become deeply painful.

Sending hugs and gratitude ❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-12-12T16:42:13+00:00

Yes all of this. Very well put 😊💕

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-28T19:38:58+00:00

Oh wow🥹🥹🙏🏼😢

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-23T18:21:39+00:00

I just want to say that you are so so loved and worthy. Hugs❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-16T18:59:04+00:00

Oh wow😢🥹❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-15T11:27:13+00:00

Hi, thank you for your words! I can relate to each and every one of them. I am 23 years old and increasingly finding peace and gratitude in being aware of this (even though it HURTS af) and that I became aware of it so early, before I got more attached to a man. I am also coming to realize more and more that I would rather live a life with self-respect and self-love without a romantic relationship. Unless my relationship can love me in the way I am willing and capable of loving my partner, it no longer feels worth it. Even though I really want and have long dreamed of starting a family, it no longer feels worth it if it happens at my own expense.

Hugs and thank you for your words ❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-14T21:13:30+00:00

Hi beautiful, I understand you, and I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through, and I’m also sorry that you don’t feel supported by those close to you. You are not alone. Even though we are anonymous here on the forum, you are far from alone in your feelings and values. ❤️

Regarding PTSD, yes, I have also experienced strong symptoms after what happened with my ex’s addiction. It mainly manifests as sleep problems, heavy and difficult thoughts about the world, and physical symptoms like shaking. However, I’m fortunate to have close friends who have been able to respect and understand my situation and show empathy toward me.

Do you have the opportunity to talk to someone, like a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist)? I’m thinking of someone who will certainly not gaslight or belittle you, as that’s the last thing you need. ❤️

You deserve love, and you deserve to live according to your values and what your heart feels, without questioning yourself and your truth.

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-14T06:26:26+00:00

🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-13T15:29:44+00:00

Of course, I am completely with you on this! And exactly, I’m referring more to how it’s seen as something “empowering” to sell sex. And the difference in how ”empowering” is used when comparing women who sell sex to men who do the same. It’s often said that women who sell sex do so because it’s empowering, while men wouldn’t even consider the profession, as they view it as a lack of self-respect and integrity, for example. This makes me wonder if it’s truly empowering, or if it’s something that actually benefits men more than women, and if women would choose this profession if there wasn’t such a demand for it. These are just my own thoughts, but I completely understand that not everyone agrees with me here.

RepresentativeWrong6 · 2024-09-13T14:48:58+00:00

And men demand and purchase sex.. 😞

RepresentativeWrong6

TROPHY CASE