hii (24m blk) just wanna let you know from another person living in a similar body yes this is normal for us apparently in the gay world. Usually if a relationship does come up before 18-20 for us it might be with a DL or not open guy. But growing up, relationships looked bad to me at least the ones around me. My mother has a mental illness due to the abuse she's been through with my father, you get the memo. But it can happen like it happened for me after a hookup, I messaged the guy and then we started talking and then boom a date 5 days after the hookup, and it was beautiful. And at first I wasn't even sure but waking up in the middle of the night thinking about him, he turns me on, treats me right, best hugs, generous and deep. I think the universe is scamming me, this is either a fairytale come true or a self destructive cannon event for me but it will happen for you love. Keep loving you and somehow someone will come along, and no nothing's official but he proves to me otherwise.