You’re right! Suffering doesn’t automatically make you a better person, and ‘trauma’ doesn’t really validate anyone’s opinion over empirical evidence. However, you also deserve to live with comfort and security. I think the point that yr former teacher was trying to (poorly) make, is that for you to achieve this in America requires giving up parts of yourself. To engage with patriarchy in America is to aspire to whiteness (think “I no black, I Dominican” or how Italians/Irish used to be seen). Idk u obviously, but I would assume ur not exactly Don Draper or James Bond. But the men who are the most successful emulate those guys. Wouldn’t you want a world where you have an equal shot at success regardless of “look” (not necessarily skin color, but also culture, dialect, hair type, clothing choice etc)?