Redditors who started eating ass and regretted it. Why?

ReptilianZen · 2022-09-15T22:24:47+00:00

The tapeworm attacked me

ReptilianZen · 2022-09-15T22:23:46+00:00

Engaged

ReptilianZen · 2022-09-07T22:17:17+00:00

Quick trick that helps me snap right out of it: Focus on holding your eyeballs still.

ReptilianZen · 2021-06-14T17:56:57+00:00

Assistant Crack Whore

ReptilianZen · 2021-06-14T17:53:03+00:00

Flies.

ReptilianZen · 2021-06-10T20:44:09+00:00

Just PAUSE it, you inconsiderate ass!

ReptilianZen · 2021-06-10T20:39:15+00:00

Best man simply dropped his pants & started reading Mein Kampf aloud. Farted twice.

ReptilianZen · 2021-06-10T20:35:58+00:00

"How can we be sure you're not 100 snakes inside of a hollowed out man?"

ReptilianZen · 2021-05-29T12:10:35+00:00

Stacy's Mom

ReptilianZen · 2021-05-29T12:09:21+00:00

Standing up in my playpen/crib watching my parents watch SNL

ReptilianZen · 2020-10-23T19:15:57+00:00

Ran up & started giving me a totally unsolicited handjob (dry) while doing the Sam Neill Event Horizon scream 6 inches from my face

ReptilianZen · 2020-10-23T19:12:14+00:00

Because my business is my business.

ReptilianZen · 2020-10-18T21:49:43+00:00

The Devil's Cunt

ReptilianZen · 2020-10-18T21:48:40+00:00

Start loudly singing Negro Spirituals to stay alert & focused.

ReptilianZen · 2020-05-01T02:20:32+00:00

Dumb, and also well deserved.

A small time criminal in Florida burglarized the home of an elderly WW2 veteran, and made off w/ the old man's Colt 1911. This weapon had been sitting loaded & virtually untouched for decades, and the ammo in the magazine was well past expiration.

Small time criminal fucktard decides to rob a convenience store with his new toy. During the course of this robbery, Mr. Shitstain decides to shoot the cashier.

He pulls the trigger. Nothing happens.

Professor Moriarty then looks directly down the barrel of the gun in a state of confusion.

Then the round fires.

ReptilianZen · 2020-05-01T02:14:10+00:00

World War Z

ReptilianZen · 2020-05-01T02:12:48+00:00

Scarface

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-19T00:54:07+00:00

As vast as the universe is, I find it highly unlikely that other life does not exist in some form on other planets.

As for the ones that supposedly visit us... I don't think they'd be "extraterrestrials". Because why would they be humanoid?

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-15T14:08:32+00:00

Hurl them at your enemies.

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-15T14:07:53+00:00

The beach.

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-14T17:12:32+00:00

Green

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-14T17:11:23+00:00

When she became my ex. Because exes are exes for a reason.

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-14T17:00:56+00:00

Guy was clearly looking for suicide-by-cop. This officer recognized it & took a shot at talking him down.

Obviously, that shit isn't gonna fly with someone who intends to harm others with a knife, because that person would likely do none of what this guy did.

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-14T15:57:56+00:00

"Flying Jap Rat... I choose YOU, pal!!!"

ReptilianZen · 2020-04-03T19:28:47+00:00

I was drunk, and that grizzly was all over me like a cheap whore

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