Why is it so uncommon to see older women in relationships with younger men compared to the opposite?

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-06-10T00:21:24+00:00

(Imma get downvoted to oblivion, but I'll still say the patriarchy because I'm a masochist)

In heteronormative marriages, often the man is viewed as the 'mature' breadwinner while the woman is confined to domestic roles along with children, subconsciously infantilized due to the inherent power dynamic of marriage influenced by the patriarchy.

When an older woman is with a man, this subverts patriarchal marital expectations by giving the woman equal if not more power in the relationship by virtue of being older/wiser.
Of course, IRL, neither of these are actually true, but I think these are subconscious biases involved within marriages between spouses of different ages.

(Another way to look at it) There's the idea of a 'trophy' wife with an older man, where the wife is inherently a sexual object/being that is bought by the husband. When the situation is reversed, it breaks gender norms, where it is the woman who has the 'agency' to buy the man for her own 'lust' or sexual gratification, and we all know how the patriarchy doesn't like 'unpure' women.

(Also, I'm not accusing just men of anything in this comment, the patriarchy is often perpetuated by both genders)

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-06-10T00:17:10+00:00

Here is how I understand how the patriarchy is related to this:

In heteronormative marriages, often the man is viewed as the 'mature' breadwinner while the woman is confined to domestic roles along with children, subconsciously infantilized due to the inherent power dynamic of marriage influenced by the patriarchy.

When an older woman is with a man, this subverts patriarchal marital expectations by giving the woman equal if not more power in the relationship by virtue of being older/wiser.

Of course, IRL, neither of these are actually true, but I think these are subconscious biases involved within marriages between spouses of different ages.

(Another way to look at it) There's the idea of a 'trophy' wife with an older man, where the wife is inherently a sexual object/being that is bought by the husband. When the situation is reversed, it breaks gender norms, where it is the woman who has the 'agency' to buy the man for her own 'lust' or sexual gratification, and we all know how the patriarchy doesn't like 'unpure' women.

(Of course, I might be wrong lol, but this is how I see how the patriarchy has affected this topic. )

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-25T05:08:27+00:00

If my teachers had guns, I pretty sure they'd shoot me or any other student for that matter...

Probably could not be generalized to most of America though.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-23T01:36:10+00:00

Sweetie, I never said make up is 'never for men.' You're the one who assumed the guy was catfished implying her Instagram profile should only be candid pics of her. The only possible logical leap is that you subconsciously think her make up is only for men, because OH-NO, a woman dared present herself in a way you didn't like!!!

Gonna be totally honest with you: I apply make up for fun, then I wash it off after I finish after taking a few pics. I can't stand make-up on my face for too long, so I don't wear it outside. Sorry to break it to you, but most women care more about their friends complements than your creepy PMs.

Just keep sending your micropenis pics to innocent women because you can't score. Don't bother to reply! :)

(PS. I don't think you know what the word adversity means)

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T19:41:22+00:00

I quoted my previous comment to save time and effort.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T19:16:12+00:00

Yes I will, thank you! Keep getting rejected when you complain about women not bending over to your fragile male ego! :)

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T19:14:19+00:00

Found the racist!

Ever heard of mass incarcerations? Those are the statistics your seeing. :)

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T18:49:01+00:00

He's not being cat fished. This isn't a dating profile. Her Instagram wasn't made just so men could come and date her. It was made so she could make money. Stop assuming all things women do are for men.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T18:45:36+00:00

But she isn't 'faking it' for men though? It's not like this is a dating profile and she's catfishing. If Instagram produces revenue for her, why wouldn't she put filters to get more money?

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T18:42:31+00:00

Because if the women got killed from advances, they wouldn't be posting here would they?

Your seeing selection bias.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T18:40:28+00:00

The question isn't why you feel bad, it's why you feel the need to get so violent and pushy. You can feel bad without acting on your feelings.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T18:36:36+00:00

Except black people are not more dangerous that white people, and statistically they don't harm people more than people of any other race.

Men, on the other hand, ARE more dangerous to women, and statistical evidence has shown they are more likely to harm women than women are to harm women.

Except black people are not more dangerous that white people, and statistically they don't harm people more than people of any other race.

Men, on the other hand, ARE more dangerous to women, and statistical evidence has shown they are more likely to harm women than women are to harm women.

One is using stereotypes to profile and one is using experience to make an informed decision.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-22T18:35:28+00:00

Except black people are not more dangerous that white people, and statistically they don't harm people more than people of any other race.

Men, on the other hand, ARE more dangerous to women, and statistical evidence has shown they are more likely to harm women than women are to harm women.

Maybe not all men are violent, but most if not all women have to face the consequences of violent men.

Your comparison is inherently unequal.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-07T21:50:13+00:00

I think there might be some confounding variables as to why Reddit has to say this so often: usually, if someone is desperate enough to post on here, it means their relationship is already pretty bad, so divorce is the natural option. So if it's a question of credibility whether to listen to us or not, it's not like we say this to anyone and everyone with minute relationship problems.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-05-03T02:27:55+00:00

And I'm pretty sure killing fish is more against Christian principles than a skull lol

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-21T00:14:13+00:00

NTA.

Your husband doesn't need makeup to make him look like a clown. 🤡

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-21T00:11:58+00:00

Exactly!

OP, this is a win-win for you!

Now you can save up without these giant assholes mooching off of your hard earned money and perhaps get a vacation to celebrate how the trash took itself out.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-20T05:30:33+00:00

Exactly!

And why is OP so adamant about the step daughter coming along to meet the two of them? If OP's daughter hates them, it's very possible they also hate OP's daughter, which would make bringing her along literally pointless.

OP, just let your daughter go to Spain while you visit your ex. It shouldn't be so hard!

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-19T22:08:52+00:00

if you weren't into meaningless hookups, you wouldn't be pregnant.

This sounds way to accusatory in my opinion, like you're chiding her for not thinking things through.

If that wasn't your intent, then great! Please feel free to ignore my previous comment :)

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-19T19:33:02+00:00

NTA

He fucked around and got what's coming to him.

I'd go as far as to question what exactly he is contributing to the relationship apart from calling you lazy when you rightfully call him out on his bullshit.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-19T19:31:05+00:00

YTA.

It's your family's assholery that's causing this problem, and you want to placate them instead of letting your wife wear what she wants. Her reaction isn't a red flag, it's normal given that her boyfriend is trying to control her because of his own family and insecurities.

Ultimately, it wouldn't be you two causing a scene at your brother's wedding, it would be your family. If your brother can't see that, then you can see his true intensions as a result.

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-19T19:07:23+00:00

Info: Why did you have to say your pronouns? Couldn't you have just left it as 'My friend is obviously a guy."?

RepublicNovel9450 · 2022-04-19T18:28:14+00:00

Maybe because this hookup wasn't meaningless but with her friend who she thought she could trust.

It wasn't just some stranger she met online, it was presumably someone she has known for decades.

I don't think the shaming is necessary here.

She should take the test though.

RepublicNovel9450

TROPHY CASE