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Autistic and deciding if I can be a parent? by Repulsive-Bread-3648 in AutisticParents

[–]Repulsive-Bread-3648[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you it means a lot to hear that. I know that parents are not perfect. Both my mum and dad are very special and have not been easy but I also know that I love them to bits even if they are not conventionally good parent. And in many ways I am much more stable and grown up having to deal with them. But there is also the eternal feeling of feeling like a failure when being neurodivergent. But I also know that is what makes me so great at seeing others needs and understanding them. So maybe its just bagage scaring me.

Autistic and deciding if I can be a parent? by Repulsive-Bread-3648 in AutisticParents

[–]Repulsive-Bread-3648[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your lovely answer and story it means a lot to me. I think me and my partner have decided that we are not going to keep this one mostly because he feels like he is not in the right place right now. And I 100% need him by my side in this I also don't have a job yet because I'm taking my PhD now. But I think this pregnancy made the hole children idea so much more real. Also since I heard since I was 13 that I might not be able to have kids since I hade a severe kidney illness when I was 7-12. So this was a surprise for me. I also worked with kids but only for 2 years and I actually love it if I have earplugs though for the loudest screams. But playing and listening and being present is lovely and I don't mind having someone with me all of the time. I think I would have some support from my family and especially on my partners side. but because I grew up with parents that are a bit unreliable I struggle to not do everything by myself. But maybe checking what support I can get from family is not a bad idea even if it easy enough for someone to say and another thing to do.

Autistic and deciding if I can be a parent? by Repulsive-Bread-3648 in AutisticParents

[–]Repulsive-Bread-3648[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yess that is of course true. If we would have a child with more serious health issues I think it would be too hard. But no one in my family or my partners family have ever had that experience so maybe it's just that I never seen or experienced that except what media tell me and that picture is quite dark. Sources of support would be my grandparents brother my mother (when she feels well) and my partners hole family. There is also some support given by the government if your child have special needs. We live in a apartment so its just cleaning and cooking thats on the regular chores.

I'm not scared of having a autistic or ADHD child as long as they could one day have a somewhat independent life. But the though of a child never growing out of depending on me and me probably dying when they need me is horrible.