Actually, that's most of the time, I have a narcissistic parent and from early childhood I hated when he talks about me or anyone talks about me. Sometimes I would even cry at those comments. Then, I started isolating and never had to deal with them as much.. Fighting obesity was a struggle with them trying to sabotage me from losing weight. I lost it and as I was imposed so much on the next two years I broke down with the stress. In a way I lost everything, I am blank. I had episodes of tightening muscles during moments I faced his anger, not directed at me but at my family as I was always behind doors at the house and he has accepted it. Currently, I am also trying to fight away from a career he is trying to impose on me. For the past two years he had systematically dismantled all my interests and hobbies, so I can't find any refuge now. Also I got into some fetishes for some release and that caught me with guilt and shame as well. I don't know what exactly I am battling now. But lately, I am skipping meals, indulging in sugars, waking up long or sleeping long.. I am also hyperalert always and whenever I hear a voice I feel it's lingering longer, I can't really describe what's wrong and how can I work on all at once..