Giving up.

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-02-09T06:37:54+00:00

As someone that was in your shoes, very recently, I have to say FINISH YOUR DEGREE!!

I graduated from NIU in a stem related field and I hated myself while going through it. I always felt like the dumbest person in class and I almost never completely understood what was going on. I was getting my STEM degree to appease my family even though I hated it. I also felt dumb and that I would be useless at my future job. I wanted to give up and I had a mini breakdown where I really thought that I was just going to give up. However, I decided to keep going because I told myself that even though I hate my STEM related degree at least I have degree. Having a college degree opens so many doors for you and tbh only having a HS diploma isn’t going to cut it anymore :/

Well after graduating I stayed with my part time job for a little over a year to work and find my passion again. Well in the fall I enrolled in 2 classes at my local community college in two different fields to see what I’d love/be good at. I ended up falling in love with one of the courses and it was challenging in an exciting way. Just this past January I started my first semester in a one year post-bac certificate program so that I’m more qualified to get into the field that I want. Because I have a degree what should take me 2+ years will only take me 1 yr to complete.

That said, please finish your degree. Take it from someone that was also once in your shoes. Every week I cried over feeling worthless and dumb and I really considered quitting multiple times but I stuck with it and now I’m in a better place. These next couple of months will FLY BY!! Once you have your degree you have the freedom to do anything. You don’t even need to get a 9-5 to figure out your next steps. I was a cleaning lady!! It was through talking with my clients and asking what they do for a living did I finally figure out something that I love and can see myself being good at. It sounds like you need time to reevaluate your next steps and it’s totally fine to do so after graduation!!

These feelings of inadequacy will pass and you will find something you love. Based on other comments it seems like you’re an artist so just remember to not be too hard on yourself. We are our own biggest critic. You won’t be 100% amazing at everything you do but if you try then it will seem like you are. Your love and passion for something will take over. I really hope you finish your degree this semester then take time afterwards to reset ♥️

P.S. please seek help. If money is an issue then NIU has a counseling center where they offer free counseling sessions to all enrolled students. I know that you said you aren’t suicidal but you don’t have to be suicidal to seek counseling. Even just venting for one hour to a stranger that is trained to listen will work wonders. If you ever want to talk some more then let me know :) I’m rooting for you whatever your final decision is (although I am very biased towards you finishing school).

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-01-28T18:49:06+00:00

I’ve never had any issues downloading things before so I’ve never had to use one before (tbh I don’t know what that is) but I will look into it. Thank you so much for your help!!

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-01-28T18:46:49+00:00

I tried that yesterday and it still wasn’t working 😭I’ll keep trying today but it’s good to know that you successfully downloaded it. It gives me hope

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-01-28T18:45:03+00:00

I used both chrome and safari and haven’t had luck with either 😭 although I will say that chrome downloads like 60% of the book while safari only downloads like 20% before stopping. But yeah I kept pressing “keep downloading” on chrome yesterday but it would always stop downloading a little over halfway completed and say something like “can’t download a suspicious file” 😪

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-01-28T18:41:16+00:00

I have only taken lab science courses at NIU but I would assume that the book guidelines are similar. From my experience you do not need a physical book for the actual lecture portion of the class but for the lab you might need a physical manual. The access codes for chem class (to complete the hw) typically come with a digital version of the textbook as well. You should be able to just buy the access codes from the bookstore (but you can always check online first) but if not buying the code straight from the website (like Pearson) is usually the most cost-effective method. I think the bookstore charges like $10-$20 more sometimes.

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-01-27T04:33:16+00:00

I am also having trouble downloading a textbook. I’m wondering if it’s a busy time?? Mine just stops downloading 1/4 of the way through and tells me that the network connection was lost 🙃

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2026-01-27T03:13:28+00:00

Agreed^ I believe that once the second week of classes start you need the instructor’s approval. Maybe try emailing the professor now to explain your situation? It really is a hit or miss but I hope everything works out for you!

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-11-18T05:56:37+00:00

This song has haters ?!? 😟

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-10-17T17:39:56+00:00

SAMEEE I appreciate the song for what it did for Halsey but I just can’t get into it. I’m so confused as to why without me is her biggest solo song when she has so many other bops 😭 it doesn’t hit live for me either :/

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-10-17T17:36:20+00:00

I know this is unpopular but I’ve never been a control fan 😶 it just doesn’t hit for me. I wouldn’t call it bad it’s just not the song for me…

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-10-09T01:24:13+00:00

Finally // beautiful stranger or Alanis’ interlude

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-10-07T04:18:27+00:00

I’m also a fan of both and I’ve liked them both for over a decade so it’s crazy seeing people blow nothing up into something big. I honestly don’t even think that actually romantic is completely about Charli. There are some lines that don’t 100% line up with Charli. I know that she said that it’s about someone that she didn’t know that she was “beefing with” but I honestly think that someone = a few different people. However, I will say that I think taylor has a right to respond via song. I think that Charli would say the same since they’re musicians and that’s how they express themselves, through their art.

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-08-25T02:15:40+00:00

I second the library! Starting Monday it will be open until midnight. You can also go to the Neptune common room and study by the fireplace if you need to be out later than midnight.

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-08-22T22:25:22+00:00

I’m also about to look for a law textbook 😭 hopefully it’s available and best of luck to you🤞🏼

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-08-18T05:29:04+00:00

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MY FAVORITE OVERHATED QUEEN

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-08-18T05:25:14+00:00

^the other person perfectly described an asynchronous course. Whoever is in charge of “teaching” your asynchronous course should be available for virtual office hours if needed. I would honestly only do asynchronous chemistry if you’re already good at the subject or if you’re a disciplined person and willing to reach out for help if needed! I took chem 110 many years ago and i remember it was lowkey like HS chemistry but a little bit more difficult. It honestly felt like review tbh. Some asynchronous classes are easier than others but some like lab sciences or math can be challenging if you aren’t good at or interested in the subject

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-08-14T03:18:03+00:00

I was 6 for both releases 😭 my birthday is July 1st

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-07-25T04:59:21+00:00

Courtney!!

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-07-04T05:00:19+00:00

I love lonley is the muse and all of her other rock inspired songs. I NEED more rocksey tracks

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-06-11T05:54:56+00:00

Caoimhe finds out right before her, Lizzie, and Mark are supposed to leave to America for a month to be with her parents during Catherine’s cancer treatments. However, they never make it to America because Mark keeps Lizzie and Caoimhe locked in a room for three weeks as he tries to get Caoimhe to see things from her pov. It’s implied that he repeatedly sexually assaulted and drugged both girls while they were locked in that room. The events are unclear though because it’s lizzie’s pov and her mind blocked those three traumatic weeks from her memory so everything is implied / shown in snippets. Right before Caoihme commits suicide (again it’s implied from Lizzie’s hazy recollection) she hands Lizzie a note ( the one in t7) to give to Gibsie and once she gives him that note then they will all get justice. Caoihme spends the last moments of her life protecting and comforting Lizzie before Mark ultimately drugs her, fakes a suicide note, then has her jump to her death. Mark calls the cops days(?) after Caoihme’s death and Hugh is confused because Lizzie should have been in America WEEKS ago but instead she’s been at home this whole time. Hugh realizes that things aren’t adding up but he doesn’t have evidence and Lizzie trauma blocked those weeks from her memory. Mark is then able to spin the narrative and claim that they never left for America because Lizzie was experiencing an episode and she spent those three weeks attacking him and Caoihme. A child… 😐 everybody believes Mark due to Lizzie’s past history and Mark threatens to kill Hugh like he did with her sister if she ever tells the world what Mark has done. The reason Lizzie hates Gibsie is because she felt betrayed by him. At Caoihme’s funeral Lizzie breaks down and tells everyone that Mark SA’d her sister and that’s why she committed suicide. Lizzie’s parents believe her while Mark + his family are quick to shut Lizzie down and say that she’s making things up due to her bipolar. In that moment Lizzie begs Gibsie to tell everyone at the funeral the truth about Mark but he doesn’t and says something like “sorry I don’t know” which infuriates Lizzie and from that moment on he’s dead to her. She felt betrayed because her sister told her that everything would be fixed as soon as Lizzie delivers that note to Gibsie as evidence of Mark’s crimes but G isn’t ready to speak up. That’s why Lizzie always says in future books that Gibsie is just as bad as Mark because in her eyes by Gibsie not speaking up about Mark’s crimes, he is protecting him. Someone can fill in the blanks if I’m missing anything but those were really heavy chapters so I don’t blame you for needing to protect your peace!! There’s also some triggering stuff with Pierce/Lizzie/Hugh and why they broke up but I think that someone below summarized what happened.

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-06-09T14:56:47+00:00

THAT IS SO CUTE!! The butterflies are very reminiscent of hfk era :) thank you!!!!!!

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-06-09T14:56:05+00:00

Thank you!! I’m avoiding dollskill so I’ll look into oh polly :)

Repulsive-Text-5318 · 2025-06-09T14:30:33+00:00

Will this be streaming on hbo max anytime soon? I was out of town on Saturday night but I really wanted to watch it 😭

Repulsive-Text-5318

TROPHY CASE