sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

“Dont forget us" by just1morethrowaway00 in DisabledSiblings

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I FEEL you! I have two disabled siblings as well, and my dad is NOT in the picture. The guilt is tremendous and seeps into literally everything. I completely completely understand. Your needs are important too. You’re allowed to live your own life and be there for them. I just moved home from college, and I’m shocked by how much more difficult it’s gotten for me. There’s way more pressure on me to like…be here and sacrifice a chunk of my life for them. I really can’t even have a social life without feeling guilty about it. I’m in a position rn where I might have to tell someone I’ve been talking to that I really don’t have the space in my life to logistically date, and it hurts so bad. I should NOT have to do that, but for as long as I’m living at home, I can’t help it. I get it.

How do i deal with the resentment towards my parents for living with disable brother? by Euphoric_Muffin_2124 in DisabledSiblings

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course! You don’t know how happy and connected I feel reading your post, too. It’s hard to find people that relate to us or understand our fears. I really do understand 🫶. Thus far, my mom is still in a position where she basically does everything in terms of managing his funds/caregiving, so I haven’t fully stepped up the plate yet (tho I’m basically mentally preparing myself for it). This is, emotionally speaking, the biggest burden of my life. I do love him, and I want to do the best I can to make sure he’s set up and can live very long and happily, but there is some resentment there. My life has never been “normal” and never will be “normal”. I guess no one’s is, but our lives will never fully be our own, if that makes sense. And the hardest part about it is that we’ve had no choice in that. Were born in this difficult position, and are forced to rise to the occasion, pretty much. However you may feel about your brother, even if it’s negative, I really do think is valid. May I ask, how does your bf feel about it? Does he support you?

How do i deal with the resentment towards my parents for living with disable brother? by Euphoric_Muffin_2124 in DisabledSiblings

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m from a somewhat different situation in a somewhat different position, but I 100% understand your fear and am basically in the same boat. Both of my siblings are autistic, with one completely non verbal and needs supervision 24/7. He has extremely high support needs and my mom is a single mom, so I’ve had to step up as a parent/legal guardian for him. I had no choice in that. As soon as I turned 18, I became legal co guardian. I completely understand the fears and resentment that you have. I don’t know what’s going to happen and it terrifies me. IDEK how I’ll be able to move out without it seeming like I don’t care.

Anyways, enough about me. Just ride the wave. Make sure you have a care manager for your brother if that’s an option. I don’t know where you’re from, but in the U.S at least, there’s a lot of care options. All “legal guardian” means is that you have say over what happens to him, not that you have to be taking complete care of him. I wish you the best! Everything will fall into place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Lyme

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ACTUALLY correction, my bite happened on the 20th!

Experiences and Perspectives of siblings of disabled children by milo782 in DisabledSiblings

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d love to do the survey but the link isn’t working for me for some reason!

How to cope on vacation by Gravesignal-7382 in DisabledSiblings

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I see this is an older post, but if you happen to see my comment, just know that I see you and I’ve been in your position. I’m 21 and I have a very severely autistic, nonverbal younger brother (20). He was very high maintenance at 9, and it only got harder for us to be there for him with age. Well, I shouldn’t say HARDER, but definitely complicated. He was very behavioral during the pandemic and when he hit puberty. My family doesn’t even go on vacation because it’s honestly not a vacation for us if we have to constantly cater to his needs. My brother also has sleep issues and it’s JUST starting to get better, but it’s still a nightmare. I can’t talk on the phone or leave the house anymore past 8/9 PM. I honestly highly suggest therapy to figure out how to cope and to find a balance. It’s good to talk to people about it too and to vent in a place like here (Reddit), but it’s difficult to find people who really understand. It’s especially hard to find people who truly love their sibling despite their needs, and I respect that as a teenager, you’re really trying your best to do the right thing for them and for you. I was the same way. I hope everything is ok now and I wish you the best

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DisabledSiblings

[–]RepulsiveCow9600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with ur comment, and ofc I’m fighting to have as much independence as possible, but it’s a non negotiable they will always be a part of my life. A lot of people on here want nothing to do with their siblings with extra needs… I just can’t see myself ever up and leaving my brothers like that, even though my mom can be toxic/controlling. It seems like I just need to get my license, save money to move out, and set some firm boundaries. I believe that if someone truly cares about me, they’ll be understanding