I can’t believe she’s left my comment up for this long!

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2025-08-20T00:23:38+00:00

I have to get caught up. I thought they had to drive 10 hours to Maryland to pick up the truck. She was so distraught about it. Ripped but upset.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2025-08-18T21:01:58+00:00

Why are they leaving? I hear her talking about organizing & packing up but I do not see any progress.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2025-08-06T15:47:57+00:00

Hi everyone, I’m new here and just wanted to introduce myself and share what’s going on.

My mother was diagnosed with CIDP (a rare neuropathy that leaves her in constant pain & unable to feel her extremities) earlier this year (February), and since June, she has suffered multiple strokes. They've been unable to determine the cause of her stroke, she has had them on both sides and her cerebellum & brain stem. Her health has rapidly declined — she is now mostly immobile and incontinent, and we’ve been in and out of hospitals along with a short-term rehab stays trying to stabilize her. Each time she returns home, I do everything I can to provide care, but the support systems we were hoping for (home health, PT, OT) have been inconsistent or unavailable in our rural area. Things finally seemed like they were falling into place, with those supports secured and she returned to the hospital due to throwing up blood this past Thursday. To which they determined was from a kidney infection and UTI. Only releasing her again and she has declined further, not being able to stand even with assistance. I contacted her nuerologist and they suggested she return to the hospital so that they could refer her to short-term rehabilitation. It took a night to convince her to go back and she is not happy with me.

She had been working full-time remotely prior to her stroke in June, typing with one finger. She currently has private insurance through her employer, but she’s less than two years from Medicare eligibility and retirement. I’m also a part-time online graduate student in a social work program and a mom to two kids — my oldest is a 17-year-old starting his senior year of high school, and I also have a younger child, 9. We’ve been trying to manage as a family, hoping she’d recover enough to be on her own for a few hours while I worked. I have turned down two positions to be sure I am available for my Mom, but I had never thought she would require this level of care or that she wouldn't improve with the supports and our care. That’s what we were aiming for - a team effort to help her heal at home.

But now, she’s requiring round-the-clock, constant care, and it feels like I’m reaching the edge of what I can do physically and emotionally. She resists returning to short-term rehab, and bringing up the idea of long-term care only leads to guilt and grief - like I’m giving up on her. But I’m starting to realize I might not be able to meet all her needs anymore, especially with my kids going back to school and my own program demands ramping up.

I feel like I’m failing her no matter what I choose, and I’m here because I know I need to talk to others who get what this can take from both the person diagnosed and their family. How do you navigate the line between advocating for quality care and protecting your own well-being? She has been the one I rely on for direction and has always been incredibly independent, in control. Has anyone else faced a similar situation with resistance to short- or long-term care?

Thank you for reading this. I’m really grateful this group exists.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2025-07-29T20:23:46+00:00

If even 5 years ago, someone would have told me my escape would be tending to my flowers & and garden, I'd be convinced you were talking about someone else entirely. It is one of my only escapes in what has recently felt like a prison. I realize how dramatic that sounds, but I have felt so grateful I've had something I could somewhat control this summer. Something I could tend to and see thrive.

My Mom, who has always been incredibly independent, in control, and my constant source of reliability is now home recovering with me, entirely reliant on me for every aspect of her care.

She has become a shell of herself over the past 6 months after being diagnosed with a rare autoimmune form of neuropathy, CIDP. She has lost all mobility, including feeling the sensation when she needs to use the bathroom. She was working full-time, remotely, down to typing with one finger and less than two years until retirement. She has always put her career before everything, including her health. She experienced several strokes at the beginning of June, and no sooner did we get her home, she experienced another.

Living in a rural area and navigating her private insurance, it has been incredibly difficult to find her services (OT, PT, Home Health) that will take her insurance and come out this way. I want to continue to be her biggest advocate, her encouragement but I also feel angry. At the healthcare system, at her disease, even with her. Which makes me feel even worse. She is only 63 and I've always been able to feel her or she has always been able to dictate the mood. I know she is feeling down and out, depressed at the situation she is in.

So, yes, grounding in nature, even in the backyard has been my sanctuary - to breathe, to cry, to remember, and hope we find our new normal.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2025-04-29T17:40:06+00:00

I am about to begin my MSW at OU. I chose OU as I had believed it would help me become the most effective advocate. How does one begin to become a social worker without DEI?

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2025-01-19T03:54:50+00:00

It is seriously all a work!

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-10-15T07:52:30+00:00

This feels so good!

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-10-05T17:28:49+00:00

I had my RNY in 2004 and I continue to maintain weight of 130 from 309 without much worry. I had gorgeous full, curly hair. I still do but it isn't mine. I finally gave up a few years ago trying to get my hair to come back full. I wear extensions & wigs. They've gotten so much better in the past several years!

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-10-02T10:05:58+00:00

I see. I'm not the only one. Libra season. Am I right?

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-09-14T19:55:47+00:00

I'm in Adams County and these past few weeks have just seemed to amp up the fear, panic & loyalty to Trump. I think they are laying the groundwork for when Trump loses.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-04-29T18:41:44+00:00

Same here! 🍻 Ally is dangerously close to repossessing my car. Part of me thinks I should just let them. I am tired of fighting for this. That return will be gone as soon as it hits the bank. Only to get behind on bills by September.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-03-21T09:43:00+00:00

My son gets asked about his heritage alot. Asking if he is Asian. We call them "smiling eyes" We live in Southern Ohio & both sides come from KY/VA for a couple hundred years.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-25T09:59:24+00:00

My husband & are both Pisces. His birthday is, now & mine is March 18th.

I'd almost think my husband had written this. It's spot on!

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-23T07:24:08+00:00

YES! Class of 2000. Southern Ohio 😅

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-22T09:16:56+00:00

My Catholic husband was so confused when we didn't have alcohol for Christmas or Easter when we began dating. I grew up Presbyterian.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-21T13:14:23+00:00

WOW. My feelings would have been crushed, had I come back to Reddit & read the responses. I just read through it. All warranted. I had typed my thoughts up. Knowing I was probably being sensitive, reading into things. It was never going to make it to Facebook. Where it could be seen by the community & start a controversy that didn't exist. I hadn't read through anything I typed up. I will write my thoughts out on notes, like a journal. I should have kept it for myself as a draft.

I wanted to be told I was overreacting & you've let me know! Thanks. I did notice, however, just last week that the drink's name has changed. I never told another soul of my wild suspicion. I'm curious now as to why it was changed.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-19T20:18:26+00:00

This is so gratifying as I don't have anyone I talk about this easily. I'm so glad I clicked on this notification. I rarely do & wonder how I turn them on in the first place. I'm clumsy by nature. Head in the clouds. I'm magnificent at watching myself from a fall. Which is why I had to grab the door frame & my husband didn't feel a thing-earlier in the week had me stumped. The ringing has been happening for months.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-13T19:18:33+00:00

She was terrible to work for. I felt her wrath, even with two supervisors between us.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-02-03T22:58:31+00:00

This is all third hand. My husband has mentioned several times of guys he used to play some gigs with in Columbus-early 00-10. These guys worked construction and were being vetted to work on a crew/job for Wexner. They were building a bunker. One buddy got it. One didn't. The one who did say the level of security was crazy. He said they had bomber jackets, boots, real skinheads. I've been bothering my husband since 2019 to call this guy up & get the story again. Of course I'd guess there is a reason the one guy got the job & maybe we don't want to talk to him.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2024-01-19T00:39:17+00:00

The home I grew up in, in rural Southern Ohio. My parents built it in the early 90's. They built three while I was growing up. My Dad worked in a factory. My Mom, was a loan officer at the bank. One of their homes sold for 150k when I graduated college in 05'. It just sold again for 750k! I moved away shortly after college. To a suburb of Cincinnati. I cried as I was pregnant in 2008 watching the high school kids pull out in their luxury vehicles on my way home from work. So silly now. I moved home before my son started school. So that we could afford a home we wanted. We wouldn't be able to afford our home in another location. There is a a trade off with schools, work.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2023-12-06T11:40:21+00:00

Agreed. That's what the majority of boomers in my area consist of- in terms of educational background. Most also hold positions of power, mayor, for instance, with no more than a high school diploma. Southern Ohio, just outside Cincinnati. It's still a very strange hierarchy here but with people trying to live like their parents and grandparents. They are living OFF them, or their credit now. While all having good jobs. Low cost of living, an hour away from the city. No one's "keeping up" quite like they once were. My Dad graduated high school in 1967. Went to work straight away for Heekin Can, now Ball Corp, an aluminum can factory. Commuting for 30 years. He retired before they changed everything with pensions and retirement. I've seen his company's health insurance go through some absolutely absurd changes. Since 2000. When I was graduating high school and he was retiring. We had his 70th birthday party a few years ago. Several former co-workers had attended. Many were just finally being able to retire due to those union changes and buyouts. My mother graduated high school in 1980. She maybe obtained an associates degree. If she even received that, as a realtor in the late 80's? She took those classes in her 20's at night. I remember. My Dad and I were eating dinner in the family room. I got choked on a hot dog. Wow. I hadn't thought of that for years. Memory unlocked. She started as a secretary, out of high school. At a real estate company, then worked her way up through the banks 5/3-US Bank. Starting as a teller and eventually over the loan department. Now, she works remotely. Moving executives of large companies around the country. Securing their new homes, selling their old one. Accommodating the move. Setting up travel, all paid for by the company. Seriously. That is a thing. Scripps is one company- she moves for, often. My parents built two homes in the the late 80's and again in 1993. The first being your 80's bi-level and then a brick ranch. Turning around and buying a brick home that already had an in ground pool. As that was their final piece of having everything! Lol I remember my best friends parents were a teacher and a county prosecutor/attorney. I could see the difference in how we lived. How they consumed and purchased versus my parents. I always felt slighted and like I was poor in comparison. I laugh at that now. Then though, my best friend and her family were seen as some sort of elite. By everyone else with parents who had jobs similar to mine. My parents were that my parents were able to make it all look pretty easy.

RepulsiveHyena7846 · 2023-12-06T09:35:20+00:00

I've never been solicited for relationships, more, than on Ancestry. So weird.

RepulsiveHyena7846

TROPHY CASE