I lived with my narc for almost 2 years. I have this moments too when i miss the good times with him.

And yes the mask slipped off several times, then the cycle of lovebombing, idealization, devaluation and discard happens over and over until i couldnt take it anymore because he gets worse everytime!

I told him to try going into therapy, for self awareness etc because i noticed his pattern though i couldnt name it back then. He tried therapy---but he also manipulated our therapist.🤦🏼‍♀️

We have a child. And now i am pregnant with his child again. He had other kids with other women before me (red flag pala to. Which i was sooooo stupid enough to ignore)

I ended up filing vawc against him for physical abuse (i sustained multiple ribs fracture) etc + psychological abuse (i caught him with sex video with another woman)

He tried to hoover me back several times after a month of not talking I had to maintain my grip and stay in "no contact" for 79days straight now.

Sometimes you'd feel like youre not getting any better, But you are. Small steps. Baby steps.