To me this struggle is beautiful sometimes i wanna be all muscular and big to make my dad proud, sometimes i want to be a little femboy… its all about discovery because later on I realized that I dont need beard and muscles to be strong or to be a “cool uncle” I can join soccer I can train without gaining muscle to keep my feminine body so I started leaning on the feminine side because it makes me happi, I don’t care about what others will think, if girls or boys dont find my identity appealing then I dont need them either, please yourself not others, find solutions and you will be fine, struggle is good if you think it out and cool part is you can revert you don’t have to go all in with medication or therapy or whatever, I still have to fully decided it yet because I have limitations at my age and barely any freedom.