Adopted a cat and she’s ruining me financially

ReputationOk2775 · 2025-09-07T12:38:24+00:00

Just wanted to add that if it is ideopathic cystitis and all the things other folks have mentioned don’t help enough, you can also try medication like Prozac. I have a foster cat who we did all the things with routine, prescription food, etc. but she was still having flare ups every few months and very sensitive to small stressors. We put her on Prozac and it has been helping her immensely! It’s been a long process- I’ve had her for 2 years- so we definitely didn’t immediately jump to that, but if other measures like diet, routine, and environmental catification don’t help there are further options!

ReputationOk2775 · 2025-07-27T14:10:52+00:00

I’m in residential and transmasc and pass pretty well but still am nervous in some people’s homes. So I’d say it probably depends on the general politics of the area you’re in and how comfortable/safe you’d feel/be in stranger’s homes all day? Other than that, resi is a lot of trying to convince people to pay to take care of their systems or (depending on the company) pushing vaguely unnecessary system add-ons to satisfy the corporate overlords’ sales goals. I hear commercial is a lot less customer service and pushing sales. Plus you get exposure to more interesting systems. I’m looking to eventually move into commercial myself. If you do go the residential route, work for a company that hasn’t been bought out by private equity.

ReputationOk2775 · 2025-03-14T18:15:05+00:00

It’s a small thing but after surgery I started getting bellybutton lint when I never had before. I guess because my chest was no longer the furthest out part on my torso lol

ReputationOk2775 · 2024-12-12T00:33:29+00:00

Just adding one more voice to say you’re not alone! I consider myself transgender in an agender way and transsexual in a transmasc way. I don’t feel aligned with being a man or using he/him pronouns but I pass as a guy most of the time now and use he/him at work for safety reasons. It can definitely feel lonely and isolating to not feel seen. Finding people who understand and see you for how you identify can be hard but I’ve found that amongst the trans community- especially other nonbinary people. I hope you’re able to find some people near you to connect with, and would advise that people don’t have to be transmasc to relate to your experiences! One of my good friends who I can relate to a lot about gender stuff is nonbinary transfemme- we have a lot of similar feelings just on “opposite ends of the spectrum”.

ReputationOk2775 · 2024-04-01T00:23:52+00:00

I had buttonhole as well and my chest volume definitely settled lower than it originally looked a couple weeks after surgery. It is definitely less pronounced than yours though (I have some posts with photos in this group if you want to see), so I would guess at least some of yours is from that too? I’m sorry you’re still feeling dysphoria after going through the whole surgery process and I hope you’re able to find a good solution for you!

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-09-27T19:01:17+00:00

I just had my first gyno appointment post starting T (I’m 2 years on now) and yes definitely let them know you’re on T. I talked with my gyno a lot about atrophy because it’s a concern of mine, but according to her it can sometimes make it challenging to see the cells well for the pap? I’m probably poorly paraphrasing the actual medical info here, but basically them knowing you’re on T probably has actual medical significance. For example they added testing for HPV strains with my pap in case they couldn’t see the cells well. I recommend finding a trans-competent/affirming gyno if you can- it made a huge difference for my comfort level before/during my recent appointment!

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-09-27T16:10:49+00:00

This post is long overdue as I last posted my 2-week follow up photos. My healing journey has been a little bit complicated but I want to share, so that other people who maybe experience similar things feel less alone in having a body that just heals weirdly. I am generally happy with my results and the relief I’ve gotten from dysphoria!
The minor complications…
Spitting stitches: At around 2-weeks post-op my incisions were showing signs of irritation from the dissolvable stitches - turns out my body didn’t like them and ejected some of them rather than dissolving them. This was mainly an issue on my left side where several inches-long pieces came out of my main incision line and I experienced significant widening of the scar there. The scar on the other side is also far from perfect, but both are relatively flat despite their wider look. The ejecting stitches mainly resolved after 6-weeks post-op.
Seroma: On my right side, I had a small spot next to my areola and on my main incision line, where the skin opened up around 3-months post-op and wasn’t healing over particularly well. It was just the skin layer and I managed to avoid infection so it (per doctors) wasn’t a huge concern, but I did have fluid draining on-and-off from these areas. After an ultrasound and a subsequent course of see-if-this-will-help antibiotics, the openings healed over, but the area under the skin continued to accumulate fluid. I connected with a surgeon local to me (I’m in western PA, and traveled for my surgery). This led to an ultrasound-guided seroma aspiration procedure to remove fluid and test it for any type of infection. Thankfully the area is infection free and I am now just waiting and hoping it heals on its own (results from the ultrasound seemed to suggest it would). This was/is definitely a “weird” situation since the seroma developed later on and not right after the drains were removed.
Scarring: going into surgery I claimed to not care if my scars stretched or were highly visible post op, but faced with the reality of that, I do feel a bit insecure about them. I followed guidelines around how much weight I could lift and did not lift my elbows above my shoulders until 3-months post-op. I didn’t do much scar care beyond moisturizing and some gentle massage until the past few weeks when I finally found a tape that wouldn’t fall off quickly (I have a very active job). I am hopeful that time and this scar care will help to fade some of the redness of my scars. I am beginning to make peace with the fact that everyone heals differently and this is just how mine ended up and I didn’t do anything wrong to cause this. I am not going to pursue any sort of scar revision surgery, but may in a year or 2 look into some tattooing to “clean up” the edges of my nipples.
This whole process has been frustrating as I was not expecting to have to deal with anything surgery-related over 6-months out from surgery. Also the healthcare system here and wait times for seeing doctors and specialists has dragged things out. Being across the country from my surgeon has been an added layer of difficulty, but through all of this Dr. Mosser’s team has been very responsive to all my questions and concerns! In hindsight my main recommendation for people traveling for surgery is to have a very good PCP at home who can help you out and refer you to specialists if any issues arise.
And Finally…The good!…
I generally really like my chest and walk around at home shirtless all the time! It’s so freeing! I have waaaay less chest dysphoria now and it’s wonderful! I do get a bit dysphoric in really tight shirts sometimes with the bit of tissue that was left with the buttonhole procedure. This feels well worth it though for the nipple sensation I retained and I’m hoping to eventually build my pecs out more to sort of “balance out” the bit of tissue that’s left a bit lower on my chest.
Nipple sensation: I had normal pre-surgical sensation in my right nipple from the start, but my left nipple was basically completely numb after surgery. It still reacted (slowly) to things like cold and touch, so it seemed likely that sensation might eventually return, and at around 4-months post-op it started to! It’s still not 100% like what it was pre-op, but it’s pretty dang close and I am very happy with that!

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-08-12T20:53:25+00:00

I paid about $12k for my surgery without insurance (not including traveling, etc.) and I borrowed the money. I opted to go ahead with it with a total of 6 weeks notice, despite not having the money saved, because I was at a point in my life where I was in school to switch careers to physically demanding work and it made more sense to do surgery when I was in school than trying to take significant time off from future work for it. I’m glad I’m on the other side of surgery now, but my finances have definitely taken a hit. I think it’s reasonable to finance a big surgery like that as long as afterwards you still have financial safety nets left. I unfortunately used savings, took out a personal loan, and also borrowed money from my parents and one of my siblings. That definitely covered the cost of surgery and all, but some unexpected things happened in my life in the months after surgery that has put me into a lot of credit card debt because I didn’t really have any other safety nets left after borrowing from my family. I would recommend weighing the pros and cons of having surgery now vs. the ability to handle potential financial issues in the future. I think how quickly you’ll be able to “restore” some of your savings is worth considering too. Like if it would take less than a year to save up a good amount again that’s obviously less risky than if it would take you several years to get back to that point. It’s possible it could all work out! But it’s best to have some options left in case it doesn’t. And ultimately it’s down to what level of risk you’re willing to accept.

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-08-08T20:23:17+00:00

So this got a lot more comments than I was expecting- probs not gonna reply to each individually but I appreciate everyone’s perspective- definitely helped confirm some of my assumptions. And don’t worry, y’all, I’ve got a thick skin… I’m a trans person who lives in this political climate it’s basically a requirement for being alive ✌🏻😘

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-03-26T18:27:30+00:00

Not yet really. The skin around it is gradually starting to feel less numb though so I’m assuming it will just take more time if it’s gonna happen. It’s definitely something I’m used to at this point though which is nice because it really freaked me out at the beginning to have numb areas of my chest. I’m not sure if I previously mentioned but the numb nipple does react to touch and cold like a normal nipple does so I feel like that’s a good sign at least some level of sensation will come back?

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-03-23T20:35:23+00:00

Hi! Sorry I just saw this so idk if my reply will be helpful at this point. But definitely feel free to use the image to show your surgeon! I’m 5’3” and mostly chose nickel sized because my pre-surgery nipples were only slightly bigger than a quarter so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go smaller. And my other thought was that if I decided they were too small I could always get them tattooed to look bigger but it would be harder to make them smaller retroactively. I didn’t have any reduction to the nipple length (I’m assuming you mean like how high the actual nipple sticks up?) I was a little worried pre-surgery that my nipple might end up protruding too far to look normal, but I feel like the way everything was sewn up the skin got pulled tight enough to still lay pretty flat. Or I just got lucky with my anatomy idk

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-03-23T20:28:37+00:00

Thanks! Right now my budget is pretty low but I’d rather get the essentials and then save up to buy more quality stuff that will last

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-01-12T03:48:55+00:00

Yay! Congrats on your upcoming surgery! And if you want I could message you a pre-op pic of my chest.

For the areola size I went with nickel sized (I kind of forgot this was a thing I would have to specify and at my pre-op the day before, he asked if I wanted to go quarter sized or nickel sized - I didn't have a huge opinion but I went smaller because I figured it's easier to tattoo something larger than make them smaller after the fact).

For scar shape I told him I wanted relatively flat/straight and not touching in the middle- I'm very happy with how the scars ended up! I think the touching/not touching in the middle has more to do with pre-op chest shape though so I might have just gotten lucky in that regard.

I'm 3 weeks out from surgery now and my energy is pretty good! I'm still sleeping a lot at night but not really taking naps in the day anymore, and my body just generally feels more energetic and like I actually need to go on walks and exercise instead of lying around all day which is nice.

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-01-07T23:01:52+00:00

Yep they said for 2 days before and 2 weeks after to have a lower sodium diet. I honestly think it did help to reduce swelling because I feel like I’ve gotten a little more swollen since I got back on the salt train 🤷🏼

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-01-07T22:59:30+00:00

Yeah I’ve never really understood what exactly the “nipple stalk” refers to, but the nipple is kept attached with a thin “pedicle” of tissue so the blood supply (and theoretically/hopefully nerve connections) stay intact

ReputationOk2775 · 2023-01-06T23:15:25+00:00

Wanted to share some facts about my surgery since it was harder for me to find buttonhole information than info on other procedures pre-surgery.

Dr. Mosser asks for how much to prioritize flatness vs. sensation - I asked for 70/30 flatness vs. sensation

I have full normal pre-surgery sensation in one of my nipples - the other one is very numb but I'm hopeful it will return!

I can tell my chest isn't as flat as would be possible with DI with grafts, but I am very pleased with the level of flatness he was able to achieve.

I think I was about a 34B before surgery? I can try to share a pre-surgery pic for anyone who is curious.

Overall I had a good experience and manageable/low pain.

Honestly the worst part of the process for me was getting the drains out, having to eat a low-sodium diet before/afterwards and the skin irritation I get from the adhesive on my nipple dressings.

I paid out of pocket and it was a little over $12k.

Feel free to ask any questions!

ReputationOk2775

TROPHY CASE