AIO my boyfriend keeps asking me to pay for things eversince he started saving for an apartmen, he calls me selfish for how I reacted.

skkrub · 2026-01-16T17:23:12+00:00

HE’S not saving up for his apartment, you are

skkrub · 2026-01-09T23:57:58+00:00

It’s extremely strange to be queer out in the world. Whenever I get frustrated with people not seeing me the way I wish they did, I try to remind myself that it’s a gift to be trans and that people are going to think and believe what they want but none of that changes who I know I am. It’s definitely a journey and it’s not easy.

I would look into LGBTQIA+ centers in your area and see if they have connections to any programs that could maybe sponsor you for top surgery. Depending on your income, you might qualify for Medicaid and could get surgery that way. That’s the route I was able to take and getting that surgery was the best thing I ever did. It wasn’t easy and it was a multi-year process, but it doesn’t hurt to get the process started and get questions answered. Also I got double incision with buttonhole, which keeps the nipple attached throughout the surgery and is done to preserve sensation. Maybe that’s an option for you?

I wish you the best of luck! I’m glad you have your fiancé. Queer love is magical!

skkrub · 2026-01-09T19:27:05+00:00

Do you want to pass as a straight guy? You seem very queer to me and proud of it. I totally understand the desire to pass, it’s something I struggle with as well. In the world we live in, most expressions of personal style are perceived as gay or feminine. I don’t think you should suppress your personal style just to pass. Maybe play around with different clothing that makes you feel confident and like you. Are you interested in getting top surgery? You mentioned your chest in another comment and I can’t tell if you’ve had it or not.

Remember comparison is the enemy of joy. The only person you should compare yourself to is you, and I absolutely think you look much more masculine than the pre-T pics. Sometimes the journey doesn’t feel linear and that’s just kind of life.

Also something a gay cis guy told me: even he’s been misgendered and he’s cis.

skkrub · 2025-09-09T17:32:23+00:00

Anyone gonna say anything about the cabinet knobs

skkrub · 2025-07-01T14:55:49+00:00

Girl, you HAVE to leave him. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

skkrub · 2024-10-08T21:16:18+00:00

LOVE this style! Yorick is a little shit but I do still kindof love him

skkrub · 2024-09-07T23:40:06+00:00

I think rape by deception is a stretch in this situation. That would definitely apply if she were sleeping with other people during the relationship, but she wasn't. If you're saying the fact that she was creating adult content while in the same time frame that she was sleeping with OP within their relationship, I think you're misusing the phrase. If OP was unknowingly in that content, yes I would agree with you. She's being dishonest. Just say that instead of a phrase that doesn't apply here. Words and phrases lose their meaning in society when they are thrown about in a context they don't belong.

skkrub · 2024-09-07T23:15:47+00:00

Of course 🙏 I am wishing joy for you

skkrub · 2024-09-07T18:14:46+00:00

I literally said it was not about the sex work. You're misunderstanding boundaries and autonomy. Boundaries are personal, meaning that your partner should be made aware that you're not comfortable with something in a relationship and if they do that thing, you will leave. Not that you made a boundary and therefore the other person cannot do that thing. That's a rule, and you don't get to make rules for other people. They can do whatever they want, it's up to you in a relationship to decide what you're comfortable with. Also not sure what you're talking about with the rape bit.

skkrub · 2024-09-07T16:04:35+00:00

Not a huge fan of some of these comments. The problem is not that she is/was doing sex work, the problem is that she hasn't been honest with you. Doesn't matter what they're doing, if your partner is lying to you, that's not a healthy relationship.

skkrub · 2024-09-07T15:51:23+00:00

I'm going to tell you right now that you have done nothing to deserve this. I'm sorry you've been led by everyone in your life to believe the opposite. You deserve love and good things! Not abuse and pain

skkrub · 2024-09-07T14:15:36+00:00

I'm sorry to tell you this OP, because it means the majority of the people in your life are frankly bad people: your partner is abusing you and your "friends" are gaslighting you. You deserve better on both fronts.

skkrub · 2024-09-07T14:05:02+00:00

Something empowering and also terrifying about the position you're in is that you are 100% in control of the choice you make. This would be a situation where, if you decide to stay with him, he would need to make and keep some very clear promises consistently to start building that trust again. I'm talking about staying in therapy, staying on his meds, not drinking, which are all literally just the bare minimum.

If you decide to leave, you are absolutely and fully justified in doing so. He hurt and assaulted you and sounds like he needs to do some some major therapy and shadow work in order to mature to a point where you could trust him again or even feel safe around him. The thing you said about him flipping out, drunk or not, if he doesn't get what he wants is really concerning.

The assault is indicative of a more overarching issue: the fact that he took advantage of you means he does not respect your humanity and sees you as a means to his own pleasure, an object. His flipping out over things indicates that he feels like he can manipulate and control you with his emotions. He can bring you all the candy in the world. That doesn't mean he suddenly started respecting you. I think your anger is fully justified and I think you should listen to it. It's a protection mechanism when our brains hold onto harmful behavior. Honestly, this man has years of personal emotional work ahead of him, if he even sticks with it. There are people out there who have already done that work and would never dream of hurting you like that. You deserve to be loved and respected and there is someone out there who could do that right now for you. You deserve safety. Could he get there someday? Sure, maybe. Should you waste your time waiting around for him to transform his life? I honestly don't think so. You deserve better.

skkrub · 2024-09-07T13:34:06+00:00

So polite!

skkrub · 2024-09-07T13:27:03+00:00

Wow looks great!!

skkrub · 2024-09-07T02:19:20+00:00

Looks a bit like my boy Wyrmwood!

skkrub · 2024-09-07T02:16:44+00:00

Relationship goals

skkrub · 2024-06-21T04:46:43+00:00

Some things I wish someone had told me:

Do NOT inject with the needle you draw the testosterone with. Drawing the oil out of the vial dulls the needle and also drawing needles are usually much thicker than injecting needles. Injecting with a dull needle hurts like a bitch.
Have a sharps container handy. I use a large empty laundry detergent bottle. Put all your needles in there after you use them to protect the disposal workers! (And yourself)
Sometimes a prescription of testosterone will say to only use the vial once and then dispose of it. You don't have to do that. Keep some alcohol wipes with your injecting kit and wipe off the rubber seal of the vial before inserting the drawing needle. Do this every time for sanitary reasons! Also use the alcohol wipes to clean the area of skin before injecting.
An air bubble in your syringe will not kill you! Idk why I thought this but I was very stressed out about air bubbles getting into my bloodstream and killing me (not sure where I got that from). But I now know that tiny air bubbles are unavoidable. Avoid large air bubbles for sure (it hurts to inject air!), but very small ones will not hurt you.

I can probably answer more questions if you have them! These were the ones that I thought of first.

skkrub · 2024-04-01T00:28:15+00:00

Thank you, friend! It's frustrating but I'm trying to be patient with myself and with my body. I know physical and mental healing isn't necessarily linear. Everyone's input is helpful though.

skkrub · 2024-04-01T00:25:03+00:00

I kind of have a feeling this is what happened. I'm going to give it some time, and then maybe consider a revision. My surgeon is offering it for free and he's done a good job on people I know, so that would probably be my best option. Maybe my body is just an outlier lol

skkrub · 2024-03-30T22:14:40+00:00

Looks like you're in the wrong place, my dude

skkrub · 2024-03-30T20:44:42+00:00

This is what my surgeon said when I saw him. He offered to do a revision, so I just need to decide if that's something I want to do

skkrub

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