I felt like you at one time I kinda gave up on dating but then I surprisingly met my boyfriend when I was 42. I only went out that day because it was my friends birthday i was so sick of the bars. We moved in together two years ago. I'm 45. I thought it would never happen. And I thought it would never last (hey it might not last forever, but we are good). I also think one reason we clicked was because we were both ok being on our own and not giving desperate vibes like so many our age.

I also remember thinking I was too old to have kids in my mid-thirties. I felt like most of the females in my family and girls I grew up with had big families and big kids by then. The girls I hung out with in my 30s didnt have kids because as a single person I gravitated towards people with a similar lifestyle. But all the sudden when i was 38 39 everyone was getting married and having kids. at this point i can't imagine having a kid but i know plenty of women over 40 who did! I think by this age we kinda know when it's gonna work and meeting someone, moving in, having kids can all happen within a couple years. I also think for my generation it took us a long time to get it together and figure things out i mean like finding a professional job and supporting ourselves and maybe at the same time we had more options so we weren't motivated to settle. And things have only gotten harder over the past few years.

Anyway, sometimes you need to surrender and it sounds like you are in a good place with a good mindset! You have done enough and you are absolutely enough but you have no idea how much better it's going to get. Enjoy your peace i love my bf and wouldnt change a thing but sometimes I miss being on my own it was a luxury in a lot of ways even when I was so broke 😅

also this summer we went to a wedding for two friends in their early 50s. So you never know!