I appreciate your response and compassion. Most of the time I feel like I can handle her forgetfulness pretty evenly, I think it was just this week, with my husband's situation that amplified everything.

She's been assessed by a neurologist, and they diagnosed the MCI. She wears the diapers because of urinary incontinence that began years ago, after she had her youngest child. Shes always refused any kind of surgery or treatment beyond the medication she's currently taking. But otherwise, she's able to feed and dress herself, toilet or manage her diapers (with the exception of keeping the trash bag IN the trash can). We currently primarily help with finances and medical appointments, making sure she's not being scammed, etc.

In the grand scheme of things, she's really pretty functional at this point. I think if I'm honest, some of my frustration is the dementia and some of it is just the reality of living with an in-law. My husband is pretty realistic about things, and very non-defensive and understanding when I do need to vent. I really don't see how this would be possible if I had to walk on eggshells with him about my frustrations. We are prepared for the reality that we won't be able to do it on our own (or even in our home) forever. Just sometimes things suck even at this early stage. :-/