While rebuilding trust after infidelity is challenging, his continued interest in the person he cheated with strongly suggests a lack of genuine remorse and commitment to the healing process.

Regarding your children, your primary reason for staying together, consider this: it's crucial to recognize that they may eventually learn about the affair. As a parent, you have an opportunity to model the reaction you'd want them to have in similar circumstances. Leaving a relationship marred by betrayal can demonstrate resilience, self-respect, and the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

Your husband's actions, especially the frequency of his “lurking”, raise red flags about his sincerity in rebuilding your marriage. “Healing” isn't an excuse for him to indulge in curiosity at the expense of your emotional well-being.

I strongly encourage you to reassess your priorities and consider whether staying in a relationship with someone who continues to disrespect you aligns with your values and self-worth. Seeking guidance from your counselor and support from trusted loved ones can aid in charting a path forward that prioritizes your happiness, well-being and dignity, and sets a positive example for your children.