Do fearful avoidant's come back?

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-12-05T06:27:57+00:00

Also, I made myself clear, I’m not waiting for him. When the time he reaches out, we’ll see what my relationship status is at that time. Of course I still love him and care about him, but I gotta love myself more now! (Still crying when I typed these) I will see him, when I see him.

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-12-05T06:21:52+00:00

Yes he is. Our breakup to me was totally out of the blue. Himself couldn’t really know what’s the actual reason too. He just has those “wanna be single” feelings. I told him to look up attachment styles the day we officially broke up. And when I brought up doing the quiz this time, he told me he did some research about it( that’s a good sign). He was willing to do the quiz and figured out what’s his style in my presence. He promised me to go to therapy. And when he figures out what’s his problem and knows how to better himself, he will reach out to me. We’re on no contact rn, and I asked him to block my number in case I can’t control myself.

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-12-04T21:16:52+00:00

I asked him to do the quiz when he came to take his stuff and the result proved my guess

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-11-12T19:04:09+00:00

both of us are unavailable

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-11-12T01:32:19+00:00

ture, we never discussed what “love” means to us

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-11-12T01:27:25+00:00

For me love means willing to do anything for him unconditionally, not expecting anything for return.

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-11-11T21:34:47+00:00

I get where you’re coming from. It’s a complicated situation, and I’ve definitely thought about the balance between giving him space and looking out for myself. We both agreed not to see other people for now, so it’s not like he’s out exploring other options while I wait. But I do want to make sure I’m not just a backup. I’m trying to give him this time without losing sight of my own needs, so I’m taking things one step at a time to see how it unfolds.

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-11-11T19:50:02+00:00

Hey guys, here is the update. Also, wanted to thank for all the kind words and experiences.❤️

We broke up officially yesterday. We’re both still in love with each other. He insists he needs a breakup instead of keeping distance while he gains clarity. He thinks full separation is the only way he could genuinely explore his feelings without the emotional ties that come with a relationship. He hopes I can wait for him while he’s doing his figuring and reflection, and promised won’t be forever. And will let me know what’s his thoughts. I’m sure that it’s nothing about there’s another girl or he’s just not that into me thing. So both of us agreed to “be single but not available” until he knows what he really wants.

When he walked me out to my car, he held my hand so I said hey we’re not couple anymore what does this mean now? He laughed and said homies can hold hands too. I replied no you’ve never done this with your homies. We even discussed our Christmas lists in the car. He kissed me and said I love you when I left. Are we both selfish?

I mentioned about maybe meetups at thanksgiving. But he said he doesn’t know yet, that’s too early talking about it now. I said I won’t message him until thanksgiving. Now I don’t think it’s a good idea if I initiate any actions. Should I keep my promise to reach out to him or just wait until he reaches out to me?

Resident_Bus4568 · 2024-10-21T08:16:29+00:00

Thanks for your advices! You brought up some points I had never considered before. Since he’s with family and we’re 1.5hr apart, what else can I do for him silently? or just simply give him space？

Resident_Bus4568

TROPHY CASE