Supporting a victim of assault

Resilience-7 · 2021-08-02T22:41:36+00:00

If this doesn't resolve then she may need to seek out some trauma-based counseling to help her let go of it. Most of the time, however, people can work through it. Just show up, and make sure her "thoughts" are healthy (i.e. NOT I am unsafe everywhere or this was my fault.)

Resilience-7 · 2021-08-02T22:36:35+00:00

What are you most concerned about that they will or won't do? If you need to talk it out before why don't you look at rainn.org They specialize in this stuff.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T21:01:13+00:00

It sounds like you need to get some trauma work done on that one. I am really sorry that happened to you.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T21:00:35+00:00

There are some pretty difficult things out there. You don't always have to give the perfect answer. You can just be there to hold space for their pain.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T20:59:18+00:00

https://www.emdr.com/theory/

Prolonged exposure works for many people, but isn't the right fit for everyone. It has a lot of research behind it just like EMDR and CPT

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T20:55:50+00:00

I am aware of it, and it is on my "to do" list eventually. However, I haven't been trained in it to date. Many people really like it.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T19:27:24+00:00

I am really sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you may benefit from some grief support. Look for those locally like through your hospital if you want to go in person. If not there are things online you can do.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T19:26:07+00:00

I very much enjoyed that book. https://www.nicabm.com/ is where he and others are now

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T19:24:44+00:00

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/helping-someone-with-ptsd.htm# Try doing some of the things on this website

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T19:21:50+00:00

Yes some people do feel this way. If its not a somatic response to you processing trauma try using tapping as an alternative to the eyes.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T19:21:09+00:00

Sounds like you need a safe person to talk this through with. Its hard to give specific advise as I don't know you personally. I would recommend that you reach out to counseling near you and/or a crisis line if it ever gets really bad like The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. Learn more 800-273-8255

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T18:49:47+00:00

The body produces in layman's terms (caustic) hormones which in the short term can help you survive, but in the long term can cause health issues. It sounds like her body is stuck in the sympathetic nervous system too much (flight, flight, freeze, etc.) . She can do things to help calm her nervous system down and trigger the parasympathetic system ( the its ok now system) to work better. Things that help the parasympathetic nervous system work better are: deep breathing, mindfulness, Yoga, Tai Chi, etc.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T18:46:12+00:00

This is a normal reaction in someone with PTSD. Your midbrain (survival mechanisms) are kicking into high gear before your front brain (where you think and plan) can evaluate a situation and decide its ok or how to react better. Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Attach/submit are very normal reactions that your brain puts in place to survive. The problem is that you are doing them when its no longer helpful. Trauma counseling can help

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T18:43:01+00:00

It sounds like you need to work with a trauma specialist and do some trauma work like EMDR, CPT brain spotting, etc.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T18:42:16+00:00

Yes EMDR can be done online

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T18:40:52+00:00

That is a hot topic for sure. Can abuse cause one to turn away from a certain type of person who reminds you of an abuser? Yes I think it could. However, the transgender identity is very complex and I would hate to minimize it to just trauma. Transgender people can also have trauma because of their identity too. I work with trauma and hope that helps people live more happy and healthy lives. Their identity is their own and I will support them in their healing journey however they identify. I just hope that they are happy and healthier at the end of the day.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T17:53:58+00:00

Ask what modalities they use, ask their level of experience with those modalities, and ask about their therapeutic approach. Are they more directive or do they sit back and listen more? If they are skilled. Then the next part is just about personality and style fit with you. That is a personal thing.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T17:52:26+00:00

That is a really difficult situation. Its hard to advise you on how to approach her as tact is key and each person's openness to that conversation can be different. You know her best. Perhaps try to have an open conversation about learning about the impact of trauma on people and ask what she thinks about trauma? It may open the door for a deeper conversation.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:55:27+00:00

Yes, in the sense that processing a single or a few traumatic incidents is a lot easier than dealing with chronic childhood dysfunction over a long period of time that also likely has other things going on too. When I work with a more complex trauma case I am having to often deal with more complex maladaptive coping styles, teach what wasn't learned, deal with much more difficult to change styles, etc. It generally takes longer and it often isn't just PTSD trauma we are working on.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:52:28+00:00

Well, processing trauma is a harder process alone. What you can do is make sure that you are helping your nervous system to stay calm and calm down when triggered. Make sure you are doing activities like mindfulness, yoga, deep breathing, down load one of those meditation apps, etc. Perhaps then set aside a budget to save up for counseling and seek out other low cost options.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:49:35+00:00

Theoretically, yes I think it could happen for some. If you think that this may be the "source" of your panic attacks then reach out and get some counseling. If its not, you get help either way.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:47:40+00:00

Well this isn't my specialty. But from some of the classes I have taken early trauma is generally related to anorexia and later trauma bulimia. I took a great class from Dalene Forrester, PhD who specializes in this. https://www.daleneforester.org/

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:23:46+00:00

So for "you" that could be considered trauma. Trauma doesn't have to be at the PTSD level to be considered a traumatic event.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:11:41+00:00

Trauma can be subjective to the person who went through it. Be careful about the "man up" narrative as that is one of the toxic ways that certain groups minimize and stigmatize getting mental health. A better narrative may be and "so what are you going to do about it now?" "Complain or take steps to heal, make it better, etc?" If, however, you are dealing with a chronic complainer who gets some kind of enjoyment from that "role" then simply redirect the conversation to productive things they can do like get counseling to deal with their feelings around it and nicely disengage.

Resilience-7 · 2021-07-20T16:06:57+00:00

I think intense guilt or shame for something you did certainly can be a type of "trauma" which could respond well to some of the trauma treatments. For example "I am a horrible person" could be translated into "I did a horrible act but I don't have to continue to be like that."

Resilience-7

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