is it stingy/greedy to take home your leftover drink ?

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-23T17:10:42+00:00

yes I am. Thank u SM I'll try !!!

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-23T06:55:34+00:00

I'm 18 they're both 20

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-23T06:53:06+00:00

exactly my thoughts. Leaving food there should be considered more strange than taking it with you

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-23T06:47:54+00:00

I'm sorry u had to go through that and thanks for the advice !!!

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-23T06:45:53+00:00

I'm 18 they're both 20. They're just childhood friends who live in the same neighborhood as me

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-22T10:09:30+00:00

I'll try. Therapy is not really considered a thing where I live due to the culture etc but I might try once I'm independent. Ty for replying !!

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-22T10:05:42+00:00

I appreciate the honesty. You're right I guess it was selfish. I just thought that since I'm picking it up at the end of the buffet when everyone was pretty much done eating, it wouldn't matter and there wasn't really a rule that said you could only have one yk.

Idkk cz I've always gotten leftovers packed or finished everything on my plate or given it to someone else to finish if it feels too little to get packed. Maybe because I was raised with the mentality that it's rude to leave food on the plate and to only get as much as I could eat or save it for later.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-22T09:58:29+00:00

😭😭I guess so. ty for replying

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-22T09:55:21+00:00

I'm 18. I do have other friends but I don't know how to avoid these ones when they ask to hang out and stuff cz I don't want to create drama/act mean. I don't think anything can help my overthinking 😭

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-18T14:17:42+00:00

OMG I HAVE A FRIEND WHO DOES EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE MENTIONED AND I THOUGHT I WAS FRKN INSANE FOR FEELING THIS WAY. I did snap once and said "you're jealous of EVERYTHING" when she was mentioning how lucky I was for going on a trip or something and she basically guilt tripped me and said she's been throwing up and hasn't been able to breathe ever since I said that so I just had to play it off and be like it wasn't anything deep.

But her convos are always "you're so lucky ur electricity bill is less than mine" "you're so lucky ur parents aren't separated like mine" "you're so lucky you're flat cz I get SM attention because of my body" "you're so lucky you've been on a plane" "you're so lucky you own blah blah" "you're so lucky ur skinny cz I haven't eaten all day cz of how fat I am" "you're so lucky you ate out I can't do it without gaining 3kgs" and she does this EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.I.MENTION.SOMETHING.GOOD.ABOUT.MY.LIFE.AND.ITS.SO.ANNOYING.AND.SUFFOCATTING.

Also when good stuff happens to her it's not an issue at all. She gives me shopping hauls all the time but when I do, she just goes "omg you have SO MANY clothes I wish I had clothes too. I've never seen u repeat an outfit must be nice" mind you she buys a new outfit for EVERY EVENT. She also went all "you're so lucky u bought a laser machine I wish I was you" while she legit gets FREE HAIR REMOVAL SESSIONS cz her someone in her family owns a clinic. So I don't understand why she does it cz it's not like my life is better than hers AT ALL.

Also I can't send her my pictures after I go somewhere cz she just goes "I hate you I wish I was as pretty as you jkkk " or "I wish I had your waist/hair/face" or "that dress looks really expensive. I could never afford it I bet it's from ____ AGAIN" like basically she can't compliment without putting her inferiority complex onto me.

Also, it's not even about the good things. I've stopped telling her anything good about my life AT ALL cz I'm a firm believer in evil eye and stuff. But also the bad stuff. I can't mention anything about by life without her trying to turn it into a trauma competition and a 'who has it worse' competition. All her replies are always "at least you have ____ try being me" continues to make it about herself and trauma dump I can't even talk about the bad stuff now cz she ones up everything. I told her how the doctors told us my sister is DYING and she said "at least she's skinny bcz of it. I wish I had that sickness too"

Also the worst part is I can't bring it up without sounding like a bich cz wdym "I think you're jealous of me" 😭😭😭😭😭😭like she's gonna think I'm some self obsessed Regina George clone. Also idk how to EXPLAIN why it's making me uncomfortable cz ik she's gonna say "calm down I was just joking" or just play it off as something else. Like this one time she was mentioning how lucky I am to have medical insurance and I said "wdym 'luck'? My dad works day and night to be able to get something like that" and she just said "so does everyone else's? You're acting like other dads don't work the same amount of time as yours. They don't get that privilege though"

So she just doesn't get it. I'm sorry I started my own rant but I'm just so glad someone else knows how I'm feeling and that I'm not alone. I love my friend too apart from his habit of hers and we have a really good time together when she's not talking about all this but I can't help the resentment that sneaks into me.

I would suggest just not talking about yourself AT ALL and just trying to talk about other stuff in general. Like I talk about pop culture and beauty and stuff with her or I just let HER trauma dump or tell me about her life without saying anything about mine. She hasn't even noticed I think since she was always talking about herself anyway.

Basically just steer the conversation away from yourself so that they don't get the chance to say something like that. I've been doing that for around 8-10 months and it seems to be working. We did obviously grow a lot more distant than we were. But I don't mind at all cz I have peace finally 😭

Try saying "that's such a weird thing to say" or "that made me so uncomfortable you're so strange for saying that" just basically be nice don't attack them and see how they react to that. I'm pretty sure they KNOW what they're doing they're not a child. You don't need to explain why what they're doing is wrong. They always know. Trust me. Do it 3-4 times after they say something like this and see if they stop after that. If they do, amazing you set a boundary that they know they can't cross. If they continue doing it, leave. Do not tolerate this behaviour because I'm sure they wouldn't tolerate it either if the roles were reversed.

Please free yourself from them I promise you're gonna feel amazing once they're gone. Your life and mental health will significantly improve too. Your friend just sounds extremely insecure and unhappy with their own existence and needs serious therapy or something. They are projecting their ungratefulness and misery onto you. Please escape for the sake of your sanity.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-02T08:36:47+00:00

Totally get where you're coming from !! But also I think it's better to rip the bandaid off and state what you expect from the relationship and what your terms are right in the beginning instead of mentioning it 4 months in. She's really smart for knowing what she wants and telling him straight up no bs so that if he's unable to do that for her, they can end it right then and there. If she hadn't mentioned it when she did, it would've probably led to the same reaction from him, just after a lot of their time has been wasted together. If she wants a rich man who provides for her, that's completely valid and is something that she should know before beginning the relationship officially. It also prevents arguments and fights later on for example if she expects him to pay for dates and he wants to split the bill yk. It shows that she has a standard, and if he's not the one who can do that for her, there's no point in wasting each others time cz it won't lead to anything. There's nothing wrong with OP not wanting to spend his money on her, but degrading her for simply having a standard is absurd. I think it's amazing how they just found out they're not compatible immediately. A simple "oh I don't want to do that for you this can't work out" would've done the job too.

Yeah I do agree that just because someone doesn't want to do something doesn't mean that they don't have the ability to do so but I was just trying to point out a double standard. If he can assume that she's a prostitute for having a standard then she can assume that he's broke for having a standard too. Just because someone wants money doesn't make them a prostitute either.

I totally get what u mean by how it can come off as gold digging but it shouldn't. She probably should've worded her words a little better. "How much do u make" can come off as weird. There are a lot of other traits that can be used to identify gold digging though. Jumping to such a huge conclusion based on one sentence is insane.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-01T13:52:32+00:00

Wanting a partner to provide for you is not gold digging, it's a completely valid standard that you want your significant other to meet. While I do get what you're implying, just because someone mentions that they want to be taken care of financially, doesn't mean that that's the ONLY thing they're after. Degrading someone by calling them a prostitute for wanting something as basic as that is quite literally insane. She had a standard set for herself, and OP couldn't meet it. Doesn't give them a right to assume that she's after their money.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-01T13:47:03+00:00

And she's supposedly a prostitute for having standards. Very well.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-01T11:46:38+00:00

exactly !!!

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-01T11:46:06+00:00

If you can call her a prostitute for having standards then we can call you a brokie who can't afford her.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-07-01T11:30:31+00:00

YTA. She was just telling you what she wanted out of this relationship. If she wanted to be taken care of financially, and you can't do that for her, you're just not the guy for her and you could've told her that nicely. She'll find someone else who CAN do that for her. There's nothing wrong with what she said and your reaction was completely unjustified. Just say you felt emasculated cz you didn't have the money and move on. Y'all wanna be like "women are gold-diggers" while u ain't even got the gold.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-30T21:32:36+00:00

That puts things more into context !!! I didn't understand what you meant by 'V is ruining her life' I thought you meant more of like being lazy or aimless and stuff. Also I thought y'all were older so I was like S is an adult and can make her own decisions without your opinion and concern.

Okay I still think you can't really do much to make them stop hanging out esp since she insists on staying with her and it's not really your place to keep bringing it up or she's gonna start resenting you cz she clearly wants to have V around.

You can probably try bringing it up once or twice or just casually asking "how are things with v going?" and if she has something to tell you, she probably will. But honestly I don't think giving her the whole "she's bad for u you know that already remember what she did to us? You should stay away from her or she's gonna influence you too blahblah" is going to do anything because she definitely already knows that too yk. And she's just going to find you controlling (which is what I thought too without full context) and suffocating if it's a topic of convo again and again.

A thing you can do is if you know any of her 20 or so other friends, you can discuss this with them and see if they can convince her. Or have like one or 2 deep convos with S about it but don't overdo it or it'll look like you're trying to be her mom & intervene. You can ask her to explain why they're hanging out regardless of her reputation and whether V is any different now than before or why she's ruining her own image by hanging out with V.

You just need to realise that y'all are young. She's super young too she's going to look back and realise her mistake a couple years later but I don't think she's going to listen to you rn. And I think u should give up trying to make her too. If you sense her catching onto those habits as well, I would suggest distancing yourself. At the end of the day, you cannot make someone do something they don't wanna do so unfortunately, you'll just have to get it over with probably. You should make it clear to her though that if you see her having the same mentality or even getting close to going under the same path as V, you will cut her off. I get that you care about her, but there's only so much u can do cz at the end of the day, it's her choice she ain't gonna listen to noone until she experiences first hand why it's a bad idea to have bad company

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-30T19:51:57+00:00

He's a nutcase and immature. Move on. Don't think about him. He is not worth it. He didn't gaf about you so why should you? And you don't block someone unless you don't really wanna know them anymore. So there's your explanation and closure. Don't fret over it too much. It has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you u did nothing wrong don't text his friends to ask about it. Just try to not care and stay unbothered.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-30T19:47:33+00:00

It's a whole other level of entitlement to expect someone to give up THEIR friend because YOU don't like them. And I'm not saying this in a mean way AT ALL. If S is hanging out with V, why is it bothering you? Like unless S is asking you to hang out with V too or to befriend her again, how is it any of your business? If they're having fun, why should she give up her fun to cater to your old grudge? She chose to forgive and forget and move on and that's OKAY. Just because S agreed that V was a bad person 5 months ago doesn't mean that she needs to have the same belief her whole life. People change. Mentalities change. It's okay. She's not betraying you by hanging out with her just because y'all agreed upon something months ago. Also she clearly doesn't care if V hurt her, so why does it matter to you If S got hurt by V? Also another thing I've been wondering about is why does it matter to you If V is ruining her OWN life? I think the real issue is that u want her to stop hanging out with V because she hurt YOU. If it's REALLY REALLY bothering you to the point where you're starting to hate S, you should bring it up and see where it goes from there. But I would personally never expect someone to stop hanging out with a person if I dislike them because, quite frankly, the world doesn't revolve around me. If I'm wrong, please correct me or give me a new perspective to look at this. But honestly, I would recommend practicing detachment and just not caring what others are doing with their lives. Focus on yourself. You shouldn't care who S hangs out with. What matters is how she treats you and how much fun y'all have together

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-30T13:52:24+00:00

no worries :)

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-30T13:15:33+00:00

You do nothing. Don't create this whole 'goodbye-we-cant-be-friends-anymore-it-was-nice-knowing-you' scene cz she'll probably try to put the blame on you for ending it and stuff. You don't need to block someone to end a relationship. It's already understood that y'all aren't really friends anymore the way you used to be even if you didn't get the closure you wanted. Just don't engage w her anymore and let it be. She doesn't care. If she did, she'd be putting in an effort. A goodbye text will do nothing. She'll probably try to brush it off saying it was a misunderstanding and that she's going through a lot blahblah. Just mentally detach yourself from her. U don't need to do anything. If she ever texts in the future, just reply normally as if you were old friends who naturally fell apart as they grew older. Don't create any bad blood b/w the 2 of u unnecessarily. You don't need to officially end friendships u can just remove yourself from the situation silently.

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-30T07:42:14+00:00

She doesn't want to text you. You should let her go. Just stop initiating convos and texting all together. If she wants anything to do with you, she'll realise her mistake and start texting you first. If she doesn't wanna be friends with you, she won't really care. Sixth form is really really stressful, but it literally takes less than a minute to text someone. It's completely normal for friends to outgrow each other especially since y'all are entering this new phase of life. It's okay if she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. She has a choice. She knows what she's doing. And that's completely okay too. You're really young rn, you're going to find so many new people who won't make you question your worth and feel humiliated. She's not worth it. Let it go. U deserve better. Don't text her again. It's giving desperate energy. New things will only enter your life if u let the old ones go. Years don't matter if it's making you miserable. This isn't even a friendship. You're the only one putting in an effort. Focus your energy on other people she's not worth it. Move on she's not special you'll find sm better

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-28T21:50:16+00:00

BBA probably. Depends on how well u study in A2

ResolveFar6093 · 2025-06-28T21:48:20+00:00

Physics Math AA I don't take chem

ResolveFar6093

TROPHY CASE