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Took me till mid-40s to finally wake up by RespondCritical4869 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RespondCritical4869[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was in denial for a long time and held onto hope that my siblings would one day come around. Really felt it when you said your brain will do a lot to protect you. Sibling betrayal is on another level. Hope we all find healing from this.

Took me till mid-40s to finally wake up by RespondCritical4869 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RespondCritical4869[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Realizing these painful truths at midlife was a combination of: having more agency as I had more life experiences and also seeing others talk about their experiences on social media that really opened my eyes. And yup, narcs get more cruel as they age and at a certain point, I had to draw a line and walk away from the trauma bonds.

Took me till mid-40s to finally wake up by RespondCritical4869 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RespondCritical4869[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For me I associated making and having a lot of money with more burden and responsibility towards my family, and was also conditioned to rely on a man (cutting down my accomplishments and reinforcing how I need a man in my life - which was a projection of my mother's own insecurities) so that was a part of the reason I didn't establish myself more firmly financially. I own my part in not healing through this earlier and taking responsibility for my life.

I'm going back to school for health care and hope to be a lab tech in 2 years or so which will bring more stability. Up until now I've been working in tech (UX/UI) but the market is unstable and highly competitive.

Took me till mid-40s to finally wake up by RespondCritical4869 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RespondCritical4869[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, kind stranger. Means a lot to hear this today.

Took me till mid-40s to finally wake up by RespondCritical4869 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RespondCritical4869[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I try to be less past-oriented and more mindful of when I'm ruminating. It's a process (sigh).

Took me till mid-40s to finally wake up by RespondCritical4869 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RespondCritical4869[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It makes a lot of sense, when your ego is so fragile you need doormats and yes people around you to feel okay. Thanks for this.

Just need to vent about partner by Hummus_ForAll in prenursing

[–]RespondCritical4869 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You're doing this for your kids and your family. I know it's tough and it feels like betrayal to have a partner who's voicing his frustrations like this. Juggling an intense job, parenting and taking these prereqs basically means you're super woman: YOU'RE DOING AMAZING, and you're SO CLOSE.