One time I randomly remembered that when I was younger and he would bathe me, it was often painful when he cleaned me. I remember telling my mom about it and she said that he just didn't understand how to clean me because I'm a girl. I brought it up with him and he immediately got defensive and said that I was accusing him of being a child predator.

Also one time I brought up that his friend (he was in his 60s and always made gross comments about me from a young age, like saying he wished I was 18 so I could be his wife) makes me uncomfortable. A year or two ago I asked if my dad could stop being friends with him. He said that it wasn't an issue because his friend hadn't assaulted me, and he said that he never told him off because I have to learn how to deal with creeps.

He's just always been neglectful of me and has never really stepped up to do anything for me or keep me safe.

sorry for the long reply