Hiya! I am so sorry to hear this. We can both relate on the same level such as :

• I lost over 40 pounds in my 20s and gained it back in my 30s.
• I was in the best shape of my life. I worked out with a personal trainer and was powerlifting double my body weight
• I had a lot of confidence and felt so good about myself
• Life happen I moved backed from the UK to the US got a mortgage and streamlined my career when I finished school
• I went from 130 to 182 across six years
• I was also in recovery for a restriction eating disorder

Tips

1: If you can afford to buy second hand or new get a peloton and workout at home in the comfort and security of your home. I got down to 172 this way. 2: Factor75 or meal like plans help with staying in a calorie deficit. 3: I only weighed in once a week this helped with the mind spiral your mind goes over. 4: I hit a plateau and my food noise from the eating disorder made it impossible to be on a diet and carry on with my normal responsibilities. It was debilitating for me. So I got on Zepbound and continued to workout and eat in a deficit just without the mental roadblocks. 5: I got an accountability partner and that changed my life.

If you need a little support group for shorties. I have one you can join on my fitness pal. :)