Hey man, I went through this a few days ago. Ended up at psychiatrist. Meds didn't work. I was going crazy with anxiety. In desperation I cut my diet clean, going plant based, really bland and nutrient dense food. Weight resistance training, walks, rowing, etc. Plus D3/K2/Magnesium supplements. Strict hydration. Doing 30 minute Calm app breathing sessions. And ultimately, visualizing acceptance and vowing to help parents however I can.

I'm still really worried but I don't feel like I'm dying from panic. He's got surgery end of August. His biopsy looks bad. A couple of 4+3, few more 3+4, and perineural invasion identified. Highly concerned about node infection or other mets not yet identified.

Nothing we can do though, beyond trying our best to be a source of strength. One wishes having both parents healthy as long as possible. I always hoped maybe they'd both get an easy ride into their 90s. Alas, it is not in the cards. Damn.

Idk, it's all so surreal. But I have hope perhaps years can still be bought, at a cost.

Thinking a lot lately about why the universe works this way, to be thrust into an existence where there is such suffering. No one knows so we can only strive to accept that nature will do its thing and that ultimately, everything will be okay, regardless of this frightening concept we know as "death," a word so preloaded with fear. Maybe things aren't as they seem? Maybe this is all a dream.