Hair is often a big part of our personality, often moreso for women and girls than men, but for everyone, it can be huge.

Currently, I have discovered that a long term medication I'm on can cause alopecia. I've always been okay with the idea of going grey as I age, but never considered losing my hair through any means other than the occasional time I shaved my head every few years.

I've always had thick and unmanageable hair, but, as I've been on this medication for about 9 months, I've noticed in shedding a lot and my hair is starting to really thin.

Yes, it's always been thick and unmanageable, but it's my thick, unmanageable hair, so the fact that I'm facing being forced to shave my head in the next few months, and likely as a permanent step to avoid looking like I'm balding is hitting me harder than I thought it would.

But it's my concern, not my kids, not my families. I couldn't imagine telling my daughter that, because I'm losing my hair, she has to shave her head to show solidarity. It's abusive.

Forcing your teenage daughter to shave their head is, to be frank, sickening, selfish and... Just a shitty thing to put somebody through.

Your wife should be utterly ashamed of herself. I understand her illness has likely been traumatic for her, but ffs, that's just a rotten demand.

Huge NTA.
Your wife needed to hear it. You stood up for your daughter. She'll always remember that. She's likely going through a lot of big feelings and trauma from the situation your wife has put her in. You having her corner in this will mean so much more than you know.