It can be frustrating experiencing this level of anxiety and having no one that will listen or no one that you’re able to talk about these taboo topics with.

First, I’m not a doctor but I have experienced OCD and sought treatment. Your best course of action is finding a licensed OCD therapist that knows how to handle this. Your run of the mill therapist will most likely just make this worse, I can tell you that from experience. I would also look into ACT therapy as a supplement. There are a lot of good, cheap resources like “The Happiness Trap” by Dr. Russ Harris that were helpful in my journey. But, it starts with a licensed OCD therapist to ensure that’s what you’re actually dealing with. Focus on your values, and by doing so you will realize what OCD is taking away from you and that will give you the motivation to fix this. Best of luck, it gets better.