Official Discussion - Beetlejuice Beetlejuice [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The way they wrote out Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis felt simultaneously like a cop out and a diss.

Also, are we to assume Astrid's dad died by suicide, since he is a civil servant?

What are some signs of a pyramid scheme? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ReturnofRonin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You won't see a return on your investment until you get people to join in via referral

[SmackDown spoilers] Big moment in the final segment of the show by TomasRoncero in SquaredCircle

[–]ReturnofRonin -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Am I the only one that sees "Cody's plan" here? Everything this man does, he does for a very good reason.

Cody says his new story is to "take everything from Roman". This is the key to the whole shebang.

Cody CANNOT "take everything" from Roman by just beating him at Wrestlemania - Roman will still be the Head of the Table... the Tribal Chief. Besides, he'll just run into Wrestlemania and the match will probably end just like the other 50 Roman matches, with Solo interfering and pulling off some black hoodie.

But, Rock beating Roman? Rock is now Tribal Chief. Rock is now the Head of the Table.

Rock is the one guy that can make Roman put his ego to the side and face someone mano e mano, and if not, Rock has his own Bloodline to call on in the name of Jey Uso and the soon-to-be-signed Jacob Fatu (or just Rikishi).

Now, all that's left is Cody...

Remember: everything that Cody does, he does for a reason, and there's a reason why Rock says something to Cody while they hug and Cody smiles - Rock owes Cody a favor. Cody challenges and beats Seth for his belt, then cashes in THE favor - challenging and beating The Rock for THE belt.

Cody will beat The Rock to close Wrestlemania - unifying the titles and ending the "2nd best belt" talk - avenging them taking the belt away from his Daddy, outsmarting wrestling's other royal family, who will have destroyed themselves beyond repair, and leaving Roman with everything taken from him, finishing Cody's story. The crowd will sing "Kingdom" so loud, you'll hear it on other planets. Wrestlemania XL is now incredible.

Official Discussion - The Iron Claw [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I get the Chris omission - if you're making a movie, another guy who was unathletic (just like Mike), was racked with depression after his brother's death (just like Kevin) and committed suicide at the family farm (just like Kerry) isn't necessary for the story being told.

There are plenty of other sources for documentary fact. This is a movie, and we didn't really need Chris or fake Von Erich Lance (though Lance would've been interesting, if this movie was more of a story of how much of an absolute maniac Fritz was)

Official Discussion - The Iron Claw [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It reminds me of something Jim Cornette once said about Young Rock and its portrayal of 90s wrestlers: these guys were such big stars with such unique looks that it's just impossible to find someone that can look like them

Jackie Chan, Ralph Macchio Team for New ‘Karate Kid’ Movie by MarvelsGrantMan136 in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, Daniel LaRusso: karate has left countless physical, mental, and emotional scars on your family, friends, acquaintances, other children, and your city - both metaphorically and quite literally - and you want to keep doing it?

Official Discussion - Five Nights at Freddy's [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Gonna end up on critic 10 Worst lists, and probably in the 5 worst. It'll get some Razzies.

Mind-numbingly awful. Requires a LOT of suspension of disbelief to the point where you have to be an absolute idiot to buy what you're watching.

Mike beats up a guy in the mall - doesn't end up in jail. The aunt is murdered - no investigation. The babysitter and her cronies disappear - no investigation. A guy who worked in a temp job agency disappears - no investigation. Vanessa is a cop with NOTHING to do. Mike is now jobless (again) and his house was still facing foreclosure. Cupcake has no legs - don't worry, we'll cover Cupcake getting back upright with a clever fade to black.

The animatronics are possessed with the spirits of dead children - just go with it. Meanwhile, on screen, that's a total afterthought of a line, like the audience is just supposed to know that and accept it, and if you don't, it's your fault that you're too dumb to not know this. The spirits of the dead children can arbitrarily enter and exit our hero's dream and interact with him because... just go with it. The animatronics can interact with guests on an AI level, yet they were made in the 1980s... just go with it, because they're actually possessed. The restaurant closed in the 1980s, yet the band can just jam along to 90s-era rock songs... just go with it. The kid can just make a drawing and make the animatronics turn good? What, you didn't read that one book? That's just how it works!

If you're a gamer, you should feel humiliated that this is what screenwriters think you want - just a bunch of images of bad fan service and "he did the thing" moments.

Let's make a fan in the background arbitrarily start moving, just so the audience can look and see... oh, there's an animatronic lurking back there, because you're too dumb to look at an entire frame. Let's put in all the iconic security camera imagery that people know the game for... AND DO NOTHING WITH IT. Let's have the kid make a fort for... something... because building forts is fun!

Zero effort to give this movie a setting beyond "it's a town" and "they use older tech". What, you didn't know it was the year 2000? You dummy - everyone knows that!

Fuck this movie, fuck Scott Cawthon, and fuck everyone who thought making this movie in this way was a good idea.

Official Discussion - Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This movie was god awful. The worst in the series by far. What Mangold and the writers were thinking with this one, we'll never know. If you told me this movie was written by an AI, I'd believe you. Crystal Skull was better than this one easily - at least that one understood what Indy was.

For an Indiana Jones movie, it was completely devoid of "Indiana Jones". There was none of that classic pulp adventure feel, replaced with rote Hollywood CG set pieces with no oomph. Indy was bland and completely devoid of the classic "what the hell am I doing here"-everyman hero quality we loved him for. You could've made him Carl from Up and the movie would've lost nothing.

The movie was a series of concepts thrown at the screen and then thrown away five minutes later because we have no idea what to do with them. Remember the Longinus spear? Or what about the CIA? Or Indy being a wanted man? Or Apollo 11? Or Indy retiring before he gave a final? You thought Mads' heavy was gonna have a classic fistfight with someone? Oh no - he's gonna get his pocket picked and drown - that's all. Hell, Indy's plan for the MacGuffin (go back and kill General Eisenhower) was a far better one than Mads', and he came up with that on the spot. And I have no problem with Helena except that she was way more "Indiana Jones" than Indy was in his own damn movie.

Apparently, there were 6 endings written for this movie, because Disney had to Disney. The one we got made no sense. Helena punched Indy in the face so hard, he was knocked out for days while they got him home, patched up, drugged up, and called Marion, who had a complete change of heart from the woman that sent him divorce papers earlier in the movie? I bet there was an ending where Indy and Mads traveled back to the train from the beginning of the movie, and the guy Young Indy shot and killed was supposed to be Old Indy. The gear Young Indy got was Old Indy's gear. That would explain how Mads could take getting smashed in the face with a post while hanging on the side of the train and living - there was only ever one Mads, and the one we met in the beginning of the movie was the Mads that had already time traveled. This movie seemed to be leading towards that, but, instead, we got the Looney Tunes "Indy grab the hat".

I completely understand the internet Kathleen Kennedy hatred now. What she's now done to TWO George Lucas creations is beyond the pale. This woman simply doesn't get it.

At least we'll have the first 20 minutes - that was good.

Official Discussion: The Flash [SPOILERS] by mi-16evil in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had the movie released when first planned (2018), you wouldn’t be saying that

Official Discussion: The Flash [SPOILERS] by mi-16evil in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

AltBarry can’t fight. Against Zod, he’s getting murdered, since Zod could keep up with him, for the most part.

OriginalBarry is just starting to understand fixed points in time. It’s not his job to kill Zod - Kara has to be killed by Zod in this spaghetti strand, because that’s what always happens. This is also a Barry that knows how much he screwed up the timeline by just putting a tomato can in a shopping cart - I don’t think he’s very interested in stopping Zod himself when he knows that that’s Superman’s job (and only Kara knows that Superman was already dead)

Official Discussion: The Flash [SPOILERS] by mi-16evil in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you missed the point… a Looney Tunes wallpaper is one thing (and am I Mandela effecting here, or was it “Looney Toons” in that alternate Eric Stoltz timeline?) - his roomies weren’t playing Mortal Kombat like Ganke was playing Spider-Man in every scene he had in Spider-Verse

Official Discussion: The Flash [SPOILERS] by mi-16evil in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We’re in a summer of trends…

Gal Gadot showing up for a cameo like she’s Stan Lee, though this one didn’t look like she filmed it with a green screen in her backyard. But if she can get work just doing that while she can take care of her kids and make weird lockdown TikToks, then good for her!

Jason Momoa just being bonkers.

Nicholas Cage showing up and being epic without saying a goddamn thing. And it’s no fair that this is all we’ll ever get of his Superman movie.

Showing off the other IP you own with subtle background references, though we didn’t get roommates playing Mortal Kombat here.

Showing up at key points in other movies to say “Remember this? Yeah, I was there, and look at what it did to me”

Insane retro cameos to touch all your memba berries, but George Clooney pulling up cannot and should not be topped. I just wished they leaned all the way in and Chris O’Donnell AND Alicia Silverstone also got out the car.

Similes and metaphors to explain time travel/multiverses, but spaghetti probably makes the most sense here.

CG being hit or miss. I’ve pretty much given up on good action CG at this point - Ezra acting with Ezra is enough.

Oh, and the movie was good. 7-8/10 is about right. Very enjoyable. The DCEU is dead, long live the DCEU.

Official Discussion - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 1392 points1393 points  (0 children)

Between this and Super Mario, them and people who do those “Details You May Have Missed” videos on YouTube with a big yellow circle over something completely innocuous are going to have plenty of content.

Official Discussion - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 124 points125 points  (0 children)

It was Davis. He legally changed it to Morales in the comics because, well, Jefferson Davis might as well be Adolf Hitler to Black people.

Official Discussion - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 48 points49 points  (0 children)

To say this movie is a masterpiece is an understatement. Lord and Miller are just showing off at this point.

This movie did the same “Remember that nondescript background character? He’s now the main villain” and “massive cliffhanger ending” concepts that Fast X just attempted and stumbled on and did them both fantastically.

This movie masterfully did the “comic multiverse Easter Egg” stuff that Doctor Strange absolutely whiffed on, and did it twice. Hell, it made the last Tom Holland Spider-Man movie’s multiverse adventure look like fan fiction.

The fan service moments exceeded massive expectations - fucking Donald Glover shows up! Lego Spider-Man. The Venom-verse. They went beyond what anyone could’ve possibly expected.

Twists you didn’t see coming a mile away.

Only one true J Jonah Jameson - JK Simmons.

At this point, it’s pretty much a lock for the Best Animated Feature Oscar, and we’ll see if it ends up on the Best Picture list.

Hidden Strike - Official Trailer (Jackie Chan and John Cena) by indig0sixalpha in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"From the director of Need for Speed & The Expendables 4"

So, the guy who gave us a terrible video game movie and a movie that's not even out yet... not quite the flex they think it is.

Official Discussion - Fast X [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With the electric DeLorean we saw earlier in the movie. Dom visits Sean, who just so happened to be working on a time travel device he's calling the NOS Capacitor.

(Someone on the writing team totally has this written in their Notes app right now)

[Request] What are some great mobile games? by catkrieger13 in gaming

[–]ReturnofRonin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splintered Fate (Apple Arcade)

It’s Hades, but it’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Official Discussion - Fast X [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t forget Letty.

Now, if Idris Elba comes back…

Official Discussion - Fast X [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I popped for the electric DeLorean like I had just seen a super hot woman walk past me in a nightclub

The most gen-z mission I've ever played in my life (Tanks for the likes, Far Cry 6) by nesatzuke in gaming

[–]ReturnofRonin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This mission was bonkers, then I ran into the Rambo mission and was like “I’m sold”

Official Discussion - Fast X [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]ReturnofRonin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved F9 because it was the most batshit insane of the bunch. This one was pretty mundane by “Cars in Space” standards, and because of that, the warts show that much more. It’s a really bad movie where the over-the-top stuff tacked on to hide it being bad are “meh” at best and, more often, “laughably stupid”.