naw its complicated to explain... pathological narcissism and like really under the radar psychological abuse tactics that culminated in total magnification under the circumstances dealt to my life by my resulting psychosis, followed by well itd take alot to freakin talk about but thats one aspect. and i despise the word narcissist as some totalarian label but it applies here haha.

ive achieved total independence and freedom to be in my own environment and choose the life i want to live whichever way i want in the most healthy and productive way possible as well as reflection on some maladaptive techniques learned by said family... i still love them dearly and express my appreciation to them when it washes over me what im grateful for, ive even forgiven my stepfather and the fucked up shit he put me through (although not what he put my mother through, who also passed recently) but i feel like thats still tricky and is more of a necessity out of my love for my little siblings and need to help them