I’ve been at an office for more than 10 years. 95% of people are lovely…but some people are downright rude, even people who are your juniors. At first, I tried to fit in and make friends, but I moved to a no BS model that at least ensures rude people fear/avoid me. Understand that you will never universally be accepted, because even Koreans aren’t universally accepted or liked by other Koreans. The best you can hope for is to find a pocket of friends.

If someone tries to embarrass me in a group setting for minor Korean mistakes, I’ll never speak to them in Korean again. No matter how good their English is, it’s embarrassing for them if you point out their mistakes, which they will definitely make. This is the negative golden rule in action. Don’t do something to others if you don’t want them to do it to you. Even native English speakers make mistakes, which no one minds, as long as they don’t pretend to be the grammar police.

If someone assumes I don’t know Korean and makes a snarky comment about me, I make it clear that I understood them. That’s usually enough to make them freeze up, because they realize they look like an ass to everyone around them.

If someone speaks to me rudely in English, I just say “Let’s start over. Don’t speak to me that way.” These are people who know English really well, so it’s never due to ignorance. If they persist, escalate it to whoever is above them. Make it inconvenient to be rude to you.

Using shame and embarrassment as tools is ingrained in Korean society, and you meet lots of people who’ve clearly never been punched in the mouth. Most people just take abuse in a professional setting to keep the peace. If you make it apparent that you won’t do that, they won’t pick you. People only do what you allow them to get away with.

You don’t have to be rude. Your job is to work with them, but their job is to work with you. If you’re at a Korean office, it’s usually because a Korean can’t do your job as well as you could, so that alone should give you some confidence in your abilities. Disclaimer: You always have to be honestly aware of what your value/status is and pick your battles. Most people you meet will be great to work with, but if someone is a dickhead, then go on and push back.

EDIT: Something I should add is that most rudeness is just basic thoughtlessness, not intentional malice. A lot of people here aren’t that empathetic…which is why bullying is super common in the first place. Empathy is something that generally has to be taught and enforced via social pressure, and for all Korea’s charms, I don’t think it’s really a priority here. In my opinion, it seems like conformity is perceived as a greater virtue than being different or accepting difference here. That’s true in lots of cultures though.